Red Sun Rising
by gov the scoffer
Summary: Leonardo and Raphael decide to take matters into their own hands, together they set out to finish the war with the Foot clan, once and for all
1. To protect and defend

Leonardo closed the door to the lab, instantly the sounds of Mikey's respirator and the gentle whirring of the other machines were cut off and the lair was once again silent...Splinter sat in there with his youngest son, taking his turn while Donny got some sleep...

"How is he?"

Raphs low growl reached him across the room..

"Not good...he's still in a coma...He almost died Raph..."

"You think I dont know that? I was there! same as you"

Leo shook his head and looked back at the door, they had almost lost him...they had almost lost Mikey...

"We can't have this Raph..."

"Are you blaming-?"

"No..I'm not ..."

There was something in his brothers voice, something dark...Raph squented at Leo... From here he was just a black figure in the gloom...

After a moment Leo spoke...

" we can't let this happen Raph...we have to take him out...now...before he can hurt this family any more..."

It took him a second to realize what Leo had just said...

Raphs eyes narrowed.

" my thoughts exactly..."

"Me and you... We can end this...together..."

Leo started towards the dojo...he returned a moment later, swords in hand...

"for Mikey.."

Raph gripped his sai , coming to stand beside his elder brother...

"For Mikey..."

Both new this was suicide mission...both of them knew they might never see their family again...but there was no other way...it was worth it...if they could keep the others safe...it would all be worth it...


	2. Brothers in arms

The air was electric, Raph leaped across the gap between the buildings , momentarily feeling the void beneith his feet, his heart leapt in his chest.

There was a certain freedom in knowing you were going to die...like you could do anything... Up ahead Leo flipped effortlessly over an air duct ...Raph swerved sideways to avoid it...he didn't like to do anything Leo had just done...unless he was trying to prove that he could do it better...it was silly , but there you are...competition to the last...

Raph grinned and followed his brother...they had run for miles, and he hadn't even broken a sweat...both of them were in the best physical shape they had ever been...they hadn't even reached they're peak yet...ah well, only the good die young right?

Raph felt a pang of emotion which he quickly submerged...

Choosing to return to his original suicidal high...

But it was still there...

Leo said nothing...his body reacted to obstacles of its own accord...

His mind was focused inward...on some indefinable point in his mind ...on a dark place that he would not allow himself the luxury of examining...

Was this really his choice to make?

Could he make that choice?

To condemn not only himself but his brother to torment and death?

Would the others understand?

Would they forgive him?

No ...he couldn't question his decision... Not now...he had to focus on the task at hand...and finish it...finish this pointless war that threatened to tear his family apart...

Tear them apart..

wasn't that what he was doing right now?

How would he feel if one of them made this choice?

If Donny or Splinter decided to die in order to save the rest of them?

Stop it...

I have to do this...we have to do this...

Leo shut off his feelings...shut off his thoughts...focused on his sharpened insticts...

Blood would be spilt this night...


	3. Infiltrate

Raph stopped , crouching down behind Leonardo, the two of them peered down at the unassuming dilapidated warehouse that was Foot headquarters...

"We have to be quick..."

Raph nodded in agreement...

"Shredder won't be expecting an attack this soon...we have the element of surprise on our side..." Leo reached down and took something from the belt at his waist, he gave it to Raph...

A bomb...one of Donny's latest inventions...it was full of gas...a strange neurotoxin that only was effective on humans...Mutants were immune to the deadly effects...

This would even the odds a little...

Raph smirked..." I thought you were against these bomb things...if I recall, you said it was " dishonorable to resort to such means in order to secure victory. " what happened to all your honour garbage? "

Leo looked over his shoulder at Raph...

"Our family is more important than my honour"

Raph rolled his eyes..."That's what I've been telling ya for the last 16 years..."

Leo ignored him ...carefull not to let the metal of his blades catch the moonlight ,he drew his swords...

"The others will come after us soon...we have to take Shredder out , before they get here... The foot are not important... Cut off the snakes head, and the body will die later..."

"Save me the guru shit Leo,let's just get this over with..."

Together , they quickly and silently made their way down to the building...


	4. And they all fall down

This time, Raph lead the way...

They crawled across the rafters...the old skylight was broken and it had been easy to get in ...this place was just a front...

The two sentinels standing guard on either side of the metal door were not a problem.

Twin Shurikin ,as fast and as deadly as any bullet, flew down from the dark places...the humans body's just stood there for a moment, as though they were still alive, and then comicly they slid down the wall and sprawled out on the floor...

The timing was perfect. The black eye of the camera turned slowly back towards the corpses but by then the guards body's were standing once again, there dead eyes staring ahead, faces hidden by shadow, the darkness hiding the two knives pinning them to the wall.

The elevator doors slid shut...

And everything was as it had been before...

Leo glanced at the panels...this elevator only went down, 20 floors...20 chances of missing shredder...20 chances at getting them both killed for nothing...

He looked over at Raph who shrugged and pushed the second to last button.

"I wonder what happens in that next Guardians of the galaxy movie...it looks pretty good, saw the commercial last night,"

Leo looked over at Raph and grinned, "nothing could ever beat the first one, sequals are never as good..."

Raph chuckled and watched as the elevator lights changed color, indicating which floor they were on.

"I wonder what its like in a movie theater, must be kind of cramped in there with all those people stuffed in next to you, like a pack of sardines..."

Leo nodded, if anyone else saw them right now they would think they were just two brothers hanging out, with nothing on their minds except comic books ,movies and videogames, funny, they could be dead in a few minutes...

"I bet Mikey would like to go to a movie theater..."

"Maybe Don could find a way to make a projector, or find some place to watch where no one could see ..."

Raph drew his sai , they were on the last floor before the doors opened...

Leo took a deep breath and flexed his fingers...

"Its been fun bro..."

"See ya on the other side Raph..."


	5. A brother and a sheild

The moment the elivator doors opened the two brothers were under fire, had Donny been there he could have warned them about the sensors hidden not only in the elivator but back in the abandoned warehouse as well, sensors programmed to recognize their genetic signature, the enemy knew they were coming from the moment they entered the building, surprise was not their allie , it was their enemy...

Leo leaped in front of Raph, shielding his body with his own, he caught two bullets, one in his left shoulder, the other in his side before the gas bomb Raph threw took out their attackers...

A black cloud engulfed them, Leo felt Raph grab his arm and drag him towards the next hallway, clear of the bodies and the gas...

They ducked into a clear room , one that held weapons and various machines of torture...

For the moment they were alone...

Raph immediately turned to Leo .

"Are you alright? Where are you hit?"

"I'm fine, its just bloody, not bad, it didn't hit anything vital."

"Damn it Leo! I could kill you myself, always playing the hero..."

"We don't have time for this, we've got to find Shredder before he skips out on us..."

Leo tried to ignore the pain in his gut where the bullet had hit...it hurt to breath... Or even to move for that matter...a coppery taste was in his mouth...

Raph eyed him suspiciously.

"You sure your alright?"

Leo nodded, "i'm fine, really."

He swallowed the blood in his mouth and gripped his swords...

He stepped back out into the hallway...


	6. Second thoughts

Raph followed Leo, all the while keeping a wary eye on him, outwardly he looked perfectly fine, but he knew how good his brother was at hiding pain...

Now that they were here, now that it was real, he was beginning to have second thoughts...

Maybe they were doing the wrong thing...

Up ahead they could hear someone coming...

There was no where to go, they were in a hallway, Raph took a stance and prepared to fight, but before he could do anything Leo took his arm and pointed up, a big flat light like the kind they had in hospitals was directly overhead, in the few seconds that it took for the foot soldiers to come around the curve in the hall, they had climbed up through the hole where the light fixture went, Leo crouched in the narrow crawl space holding the light in place, careful to keep the wires pinched together so that it stayed lit until they were gone.

Raph grunted as he tried to move in the crampt space...His shell was too wide to fit in here, too bad, this would have been a great way to get through the place without being seen...

Leos breath hitched as he lowered himself through the hole and dropped down to the floor... Blood splattered on his feet , but since the light was out Raph didn't notice...

He turned back to the hall...

"Come on."

They kept moving...for some time they didn't see anyone, mostly it was just a long hallway with locked doors ...Raph wondered whether they should check each one, but he decided not to suggest it, after 16 years of near constant fighting you develop a kind of sixth sense, you can almost smell your enemy...

Oroku was somewhere up ahead...he could feel it...and so could Leo...


	7. Smell of death

There was a strange smell...rancid,sour, it made their stomachs boil, Leo looked back at Raph , they both knew what it was...

Death...

It was coming from the next room...

Raph gritted his teeth.

"Don't go in there bro."

Leo stared at the closed door...

"What if-?"

"Leave it...let the cops deal with that...there's nothing we can do..."

Leo nodded and put his arm over his nose and mouth , quickly he passed by the door leaving it untouched ...

Raph did the same,

Leo gritted his teeth, against the pain in his side...he didn't know much about medical stuff, that was Donnys department, but by the coppery taste in his mouth he was willing to bet that bullet had nicked something...He hid this revalation from Raph, if they turned back now they would have accomplished nothing... the few foot ninja they had taken out wouldn't change anything, look at the dead bodies decomposing back there in that room...there would only be more death...more pain... and eventually that death would find its way into their family...what if it were Splinter back there in that room? or Mikey? what if they died because they were too weak to keep going?

Raph paused , and turned to look behind them,

"hold up."

Leo glanced over his shoulder,

"what is it?"

Raph shook his head, he raised up his sai

"somethings not-"

suddenly Raph was knocked off his feet-slamming into the wall he tried to fight back against whatever invisible force was attacking him-there was a streak of silver and then red, as a blade came out of nowhere and slashed across Raphs face-Leo ran to his brother- many times before he had sparred with master Splinter -sometimes with a blind fold-even though he could not see his enemy- he could still fight them.

Leos twin katana crossed in thin air-a moment later a decapitated body fell to the ground- the ninjas head rolled away leaving a river of blood in its path-Raph was up again - his mask was gone- replaced by a smear of red- there was a long gash running across his forhead all the way down to his jaw- his lips were drawn back in a snarl as he struck out at the air-now there was blood on his sai- how many ninja were there? why couldn't they see them?

Leos hand went down to his belt-grasping the throwing knives he aimed at the empty space between himself and the wall- the knives stuck a few feet off the ground- dull thuds announced the bodies falling...

Raph swiped angrily at his eyes, there were no more attackers...they were all dead...

He pounded his fist into the wall-

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

Leo clutched his side breathing heavily, Raph kicked at the dead ninja on the floor...

"Damn it! What the hell was that huh ?What the hell was that ? "

Leo knealt down , as much to hide his bleeding wound from Raph as to examine one of the men...there was a strange device on the ninjas chest,a round blinking chip, even as he looked at it it began to smoke, a moment later it had self destructed...

Raph continued to rant...

"Frikin bastards- where the hell did they get this kind of hardware huh? DAMN IT!"

Leo forced his voice to be even and calm...

"it doesn't matter...theyre dead... were not...lets just keep moving..."

Raph rounded on him, his voice coming out in a low growl...

"in case you havnt noticed Leo, we aint doin too hot, you've got two bullets in ya, I cant hardly see for all the blood in my eyes , and we have no idea where shredder is. He could have already cut out of here and left us for his goons to take care of for all we know!"

Leo shook his head,

"he wouldn't do that...he would want to be in for the kill...if anything hes hiding somewhere in one of these rooms..."

Raph threw his hands in the air and laughed "lot of good that does us, there are twenty levels here Leo, it could take us hours to find him!"

Leo stood up slowly, " maybe we don't have to find him..."

Raph frowned "what do you mean?"

"what if we were dead? wouldn't the foot take our bodies back to shredder?"


	8. theyre dead were not

the foot ninja were stunned by what they found... the bodies were piled everywhere, some gutted, some with their skulls laid open...

all the men could do was just stand there surveying the carnage... after a moment one of them began to creep forward...stepping over the ropes of gray intestines and trying not to slip in the lake of blood...and that's when he saw the two creatures lying apparently dead under the decapitated foot ninja...it was them...the turtles...the man couldn't believe it...he moved closer...

the one in blue, Leonardo, had two wounds and judging by all the blood in his mouth and streaming down his chest he had bled out...

the one in read, Raph, had a wound directly over his left eye, it looked like his skull had cracked...

"Well?"

the man cleared his throat..."its the turtles...I think theyre dead..."

one of his fellows answered...his voice shook...

"you had better make sure...if theyre faking it and we take em back to shredder were all dead..."

the ninja swallowed and reached out to feel for a pulse...

they were already stiff...their skin icy to the touch...there was no pulse...

they lifted the bodies of the turtles...it was hard for them to move quickly with this load...Leonardos arm was stuck out

at an odd angle and it slid along the walls as they went...

the Shredder was hidden away in a room three levels up...

the door looked like any of the other hundred or so on this level, but unlike those this one was steal reinforced,

Impenetrable , the ninja ran their hands along four parallel lines opposite each other, and then rotated ...

the door opened...they stepped inside...

"Master..."

the troop bowed their heads to the man standing in the center of the room...his face was hard set, scarred and aged...

the face of a man of war...

his eyes opened a little wider when he saw what it was they were carrying...but then his features resumed their original

steely set...

he said nothing...hesitantly one of the ninja stepped forward and opened his mouth to speak...

and at that moment...many things happened...


	9. something was wrong

Raph revived himself slowly...coming out of his self induced hibernation ...waiting for just the right moment while keeping himself motionless and stiff ...it was then...just as the man stepped forward,that Raph attacked...

The ninja in front of him fell with Raphs sai sticking out of his mouth...the foot scattered, dropping Leonardo and trying to distance themselves from Raphs fury-

the red banded turtle fought viciously - he didn't care about who he killed or how he killed them-he tried not to think about what master splinter would say if he saw the carnage he was creating- but he couldn't help it- he had to keep them away from Leo until he could wake up- he had to take them down fast- there were at least thirty ninja here in this room- and no doubt more were coming-

Shredder stood by and watched his minions fight...choosing to wait for his enemy to tire...if the turtle killed the ninja what did it matter? they were more than expendable ...

"COME ON!" Raph bellowed, pacing back and forth in front of his brothers body...it shouldn't be taking Leo this long to come out of it...something was wrong...

he didn't know how much longer he could hold them off...

they were regrouping-banding together into a solid wall of swords and weapons -working themselves up into a charge...

he couldn't take them all on his own...

Leo hurt...deep...deep inside ...he fought to open his eyes...to fake death he had had to put himself in the deepest meditative state that was possible...it was dangerous on a good day, but he was wounded...he was not in any shape to go that close to death and then drag himself back from it...somehow he managed to come back...but it drained him...made him weak...and weakness was not something you wanted to have in this situation...

Leo groaned and felt his heart sputter to life again...blood ran warm and wet down his arm...the hole in his plastron felt cold...his whole body felt cold...

cold and stiff...like a corpse...

but he was alive...he had to fight...he had to get up...he had to help Raph...

Leo opened his eyes...

Raph was locked in hand to hand combat with at least six foot ninja -his sai lay across the room,still embedded in the bodies...

he was bleeding in at least a dozen different places...sweat ran down his face and arms...things were getting desperate...

Leo reached for his swords... staggering to his feet he joined in the fight...


	10. Chapter 10

Leo turned from Raph, leaving his brother to fight alone...as much as he wanted to help, he couldn't...he had to take down Shredder , now, while he was still strong enough...swallowing the blood in his mouth,Leo raised his swords.

Raph slammed his fist into a mans face,driving his nose back into his skull, killing him instantly, out of the corner of his eye Raph saw Leo moving towards the Shredder, even as he saw this, they began to circle eachother ...

Raph was forced back to reality as a sword found its way into his gut...

amazingly he didn't feel much , just a deep numbing pain, he didn't know if that was good or bad, and he didn't have time to wonder at it, Raph let out a roar and charged into the wall of masked faces...

Shredder opened his mouth to speak, but before he could even draw a breath Leo was on him-aiming his swords at the weak place in the mans armor between the neck and arm, he drew blood but it wasn't a very serious blow.

Oroku Saki bared his teeth and retaliated - rushing at his opponent before he had a chance to recover, Leo dodged him but only just- then they were circling again,daring the other to attack first,

Leo spat blood out of his mouth-


	11. Chapter 11

he had been wrong to think they could stop the Shredder by themselves...he had laid out all his cards on the table...bet all of his chips...placed his gambit...and now, he was going to lose...

Leonardos breath came out in great heaving pants...he felt like his insides were pouring out through the hole in his plastron...black things...like spiders legs were creeping around the edges of his vision...he shook his head to try to clear it, but it was no use...his strength was leaking out of his body along with the blood...he was going to die, or be captured, one or the other...at this point there wasn't any difference...he had pulled something...no, pulled wasn't the right word...ripped...torn...destroyed...with each blow he parried, and each one he delt he did just that much more damage to himself...like a machine, beating itself to death

his movements were slowing - where was Raph? was he alright? maybe he could get out now before the Shredder bested him,this was such a bad idea...how could he have been so arrogant? so stupid! single handedly he had managed to get not only himself killed but Raph too...he didn't deserve to be called leader...what kind of a leader leads his own brother to torment and death? Master Splinter would be waiting for them...and they would never come ...he had destroyed their family...

Leo dodged right as Oroku stabbed at him-but that only served to delay the inevitable...

the blade cut through Leonardos throught.

in one split second , the battle ended.

blood gushed down the blue banded turtles swords fell from his hands and his body crumpled like a marionette whos strings were cut.

his head bent down,and his eyes stared open and flickering,

his body twitched and jerked weakly.

then...he lay still.

it took a moment for Raph to realize what had just happened...

 **ok , that's all I can post tonight, I'm tired, (plus, I have to bone up on math for the GED test tomorrow,)**

 **the reviews rock, and they really help to feed my creativity, keep em up!**

 **ill update this story soon, and I promise, the chapters will get longer,**


	12. Chapter 12

Raph felt like all the breath had been knocked out of him-Leo was lying on the floor...in a lake of his own blood-how could there be so much blood?all at once he couldn't see -the room turned red-

With a roar of pain and rage Raph threw himself at the foot ninja-just the force of his armored body slamming into theirs was enough to kill-in this moment Raph turned into a rabid animal-

he didn't feel their weapons tearing into him- he didn't feel his bones crack - or his organs burst-

he ran single-mindedly at the iron demon standing over his fallen brother-

somehow there was a sai in his hand-where it had come from he did not know-with a strangled scream he buried it into the venerable flesh beneath Shredders jaw-blood ran out from under the mask-it ran over Raphs hand and down his arm , mingling with his own-it ran over the two knives embedded in his plastron...

his chest felt heavy...as the shredder fell he drug Raph down with him...

wildly Raph thought of a few nights ago-movie night-pizza-Mikey laughing-Don- arguing with some guy on the internet over some math equation-Splinter playing chess with Leo-he was winning-Leo-Leo

Raph tried to move -but a fire pain shot up from his stomach-leaving him shaking and sick-his legs kicked -

he couldn't see Leo...all he could see was the ceiling...

away to his left he heard the remaining ninja dragging themselves out into the hall-

so he hadn't killed them all- it didn't matter...Shredder was dead-

Mikey-Don-Splinter-Leo

I'm sorry...


	13. Chapter 13

**PART 2:UNDERWORLD**

it was dark...he was lying on a cold floor...he didn't hurt...there was no pain...

Leo opened his eyes...

it took a moment for his eyes to adjust...then he saw he was in a hall of some sort...massive

columns -as wide around as California red woods- stood towering into the dark- the ceiling-hidden by shadow- was arched and intricately carved-

he could hardly make it out-

"what the-"

slowly he got to his feet,staring up only made him dizzy, he shut his eyes and pressed his palms against them-

"this isn't real-"

he felt the dead still air around his skin-

"this is all in my head-it isn't real-"

suddenly there was a squealing noise - away into the dark to his left-like a pig was being butchered-

Leo opened his eyes and whirled around to face the direction it was coming from- instinctually he reached for his swords-only to find that they were gone-

he had no weapons-he was alone-

the thing in the black world continued to scream...

Raph groaned and sat up...holding his head in his hands...he felt like some dude with a hammer was drilling into his skull...

"Damn..."

why was it so frikin cold in here?

what happened?

where-?

"Leo!"

Raph scrambled to his feet-fell down-got up again-

he couldn't see anything- had he gone blind? No- wait he was dead-that was it-everything was coming back- he was dead-Leo was dead-Shredder was dead-hell,everyone was dead...

slowly the dark world came into focus...

he was in a narrow room...little more than a square box-

along the walls were murals , painted creatures with flat dull eyes and grinning mouths...

the floor was cracked and lopsided,as though there had been an earthquake ...

the ceiling swooped down adding to the clostraphobic feeling of the place...

Raph swallowed and stared at the painted figures on the wall...

they were freaking him out...

hell, the whole place was freaking him out...

he had to get out of here...

where was Leo?

what was this?

Raph went to the wall and punched it,the wall cracked,split and crumbled away, he had expected to see another room or something...but there was nothing...

nothing but darkness...

"ah shit..."

Raph leaned out as far as he dared over the void...the air was dead...and dry,there was no bottom, it just went on forever...

"great, now what?"

he turned back to the room, and to the strange carved figures...they seemed to be watching him, at least a dozen pairs of flat dull eyes mocking him...

Raph decided he wasn't going to stay here a minute longer...it was freaky enough that he was suspended over a bottomless pit inside a dilapidated box that looked like it could crumble away at any given moment , but to be stuck in here with these guys staring at you, no way...

he went to the edge of the hole in the wall and took a deep breath...

and then he jumped...


	14. Chapter 14

the squealing rose up to a high pitched scream- Leo was torn between going towards the sound and retreating- the whatever it was making that sound was not human- but- there was a certain humanistic quality to it-

just enough to make him hesitate...

suddenly there was a flash of orange light and a hiss of hot air- fire-sulfer-smoke- he tasted all these things in the moment it took for his eyes to re-adjust to this new shade of darkness-and for him to see the thing coming this way-

it was horrible- a machine of iron-with grinding cogs and steam vents - turning gears and sharp metal wires- in the hollow place at its center it held a writhing thing-a twisted -half alive thing-

this creature was what had screamed -

the machine was using its life energy-its blood-flesh and bone to feul it-

Leo ducked behind the column before the machine could register that he was there...for the first time in his life Leo felt a jolt of panic...he didn't know where he was,or what that machine behind him was-

all he did know was that he had to find his brother- and get out of here.

the clanking drew nearer, and the steam issued from the pipes - it slowed and stopped , until the only thing between himself and the mechanical monstrocity was the 20 or so feet of stone that made up the collumns base...

Inside its chest the humanish creature gurgled and twitched-finally it was dying-Leo swallowed the nausea in his stomach -even though it was not human- he still felt sorry for it- wanted to help-but what could he do? it was dead anyway,it just didn't know it yet...

"Leo...Please-"

the young turtle froze - all the color drained from his face-

he knew that voice-it was Raphs-

it wasn't possible-he knew it wasn't possible but he couldn't help but look-

Leo went around the side of the column-

and the machine saw him-

before he could even move it had him-

metal drills burrowed into his plastron-digging in-holding him-

he couldn't brake free-it was bringing him up to the cavity where the now dead creature hung limply from the wires-

God-he was so stupid-how could he have fallen for the oldest trick in the book?

Frikin Predator had pulled this shit on the army guys in that movie-of course it wasn't Raph-it was just a recording-the way hunters replay animal calls-to draw you in and catch you-

Leonardo struggled -the drills dug in deeper - he felt the first pinpricks of agony as the metal spikes reached the tender flesh beneath his shell-

he fought the metallic demon but it was hopeless-

suddenly he was inside the hole in its chest-

wires attached themselves to his body-they ran under his skin-bit into the bones-

someone was screaming-fighting-tearing at the machine-

he caught a glimpse of his own blood-it was white-like milk-

what-?

iron drills-wires-chains-hot steam-fire-he was being consumed-this was the first terrible frenzy -the body refusing to believe it would die-the last struggle before you were to weak-the last fight - the death throws-

Leonardo screamed -


	15. Chapter 15

Raph fell through the void-for one sickening moment he was freefalling-the next second he landed on a hard smooth black floor-the drop from the room he was in was no more than 10 feet-

he stood up slowly and felt of the ground with his foot,he smiled mirthlessly.

a guy could spend his whole life up there trapped in that room, too afraid to take the leap , and all the while the floor was just a few feet down...

now, to find a way out of-wherever this place was...

throwing caution to the wind Raph sprinted away, not really caring which way he went,as long as he kept to a straight line and didn't run in circles he should get somewhere eventually-

just then the ground went out from under his feet-

Raph let out a startled grunt and fell down another 10 feet-he hit the ground hard-slamming his elbow into the unyielding ground and hearing the sickening CRACK of his bones breaking-

blinding pain shot up his arm and Raph was knocked breathless...

everything went black...which wasn't much of a change as he couldn't see anything anyway...after a few minutes of blindly staring up through the darkess Raph sat up...his arm felt like it was going to fall off-splinter away and just crumble from his shoulder...

he reached his good hand around to feel of the damage -his hand me something that felt like sandpaper-with a jolt of panic Raph felt of his stiff cold arm-a moment later the pain stopped-and his arm turned to sand and ran through his fingers onto the floor...


	16. Chapter 16

his arm was gone...gone-just like that-now it was nothing but a pile of dust -a pile of dust on the ground-

Raph scrambled to his feet - he felt around at the shapeless lump that was his shoulder-

this was crazy-hell-madness-

he must have hit his head -your arm couldn't just fall away like that-

under his feet he felt the gritty hard sand -

this couldn't happen-

( _oh ,it can happen,it happens all the time here,wont take long-not long-youll be gone too,like the other one-this place -not good place-not good-no go-no go-that's why its no go-Leo-no go-Leonardo gone-not long now-no go)_

Raph turned around-his eyes wide-blind in the dark-

words-someone speaking-someone in here with him-no-wait-its someone jabbering away in his mind-inside his head-he was going crazy-nuts-round the bend-bobm happy-crackers-

( _watch out-watch-watch-careful-no -too close-too close-coming too close-here I come-better run-runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunhereicomebetterrunrunrunrunrunRRRRRRUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHEEEEERRRREEEEIIIIIICCCCCOOOMMMEEEEE!)_

Raph heard something real-something on the ground a few yards away-it was strange-a hurried sound like a dog would make if its back legs were paralyzed but it was still trying to drag its body across the floor-

he backed away from it-still feeling lopsided and off balance-his remaining arm hugged around his chest and clutching his formless stump of a shoulder-

the thing scrambling in the dark advanced quickly and a deep croaking -(Raph thought wildly of the movie The Grudge )-suddenly his foot met air and he pitched backwards into the nothing-

his arm flailed uselessly- a strangled shout -

he the ground...

his skull cracked open...that was the only explanation for the pain in his head...something wet and metallic was in his mouth...no,wait...that was blood...he had bit his lip...he felt like his teeth had all shattered ...

every other minute he blacked out...but when he opened his eyes he couldn't see anything anyway so what difference did it make?

no-that's not true...he blinked...as his eyes adjusted he became aware of a lighter darkness...

a pale red light-

like a fire-

slowly he rolled his head around to look-

he was in a wide room...a hall...with massive stone pillars ...


	17. Chapter 17

Leo opened his eyes...he couldn't move...trapped...

fire...pain...weak...

wires held him up...wires draining his blood...his life...

the machines iron gears turned under his feet...clanging together...steam issued from the vents...blistering his skin...scorching...burning...melting...he was too hot...too hot...his blood soaked in the heat...burning in his veins...a turtle...coldblooded...couldn't handle the heat...couldn't regulate temperature...too hot...

Leo moaned and struggled weakly...it was hopeless...he couldn't break free...it was over...he could only pray that Raph wasn't here too...that the others had found him in time to save him...please...please...don't let him be here...

his body twitched and jerked under the electric currents running over his skin...every other minute he would forget to breath...but how could you breath in a place like this? he was dead wasnt he?

suddenly he felt a pain in his throat...suddenly he couldn't move his jaw...his neck-HIS NECK-HIS-

the skin tore-blood gushed out-he didn't understand-understand what was happening-

a hole in his throat-blood in his mouth-a needle-

Donny-

Donny?!

Donny sewing-no-machine-machine tearing-tearing-TEARING OUT HIS THROAT-PAIN-PAIN-BLOOD-PAIN-

Donnys voice-

SCREAMING-HIS VOICE SCREAMING-NO-LOSING-WERE-LOSING


	18. Chapter 18

"Father? father-wake up..."

gently Donny shook Splinters shoulder...the old rat sighed and opened his eyes...they were wet..."m'ust'v dosed off..." he muttered sitting up,his knarled old hand reached up behind his neck and rubbed...he winced...

Mikey continued to silently breath beside him...the air mask on his face fogging up and then clearing...his skin was nearly white...it was hard to believe it had once been a bright leaf green...

Splinters brows knitted together...

"how is your brother?"

Donny shook his head..."I don't even know anymore...when I left a few hours ago he was better but now-"

his voice cracked and he pinched the bridge of his nose..."I'm not going to lie Sensei,if he gets through tonight he has a chance...I'm not going to leave him...I'll stay right here and keep an eye on him, in case-"

Splinter watched his middle son anxiously, noting the dark circles under his eyes and the now permanent worry lines around his beak...he was not yet 16 and he seemed as old as he,Yoshi was...

"whatever happens my son, you must not blame yourself...none of this is your fault,what has happened is no ones fault but mine...had I kept you five from the world above,we would as yet be a whole family...it was my own folly that brought this ill fate upon us..."

Donny shook his head and smiled sadly...

"you sound like Leo..."

a sudden chill gripped Splinters heart...something was wrong...Splinter realized that his two eldest sons were missing,that he hadn't seen them for three hours or more...

Donny noticed the change that had come over his father..."Dad? what-?"

Splinter stood and started towards the door-

"stay with your brother Donnatello-"

"but-"

"stay with him!"

Splinter hurried towards the stairs that lead to his sons rooms,his breath caught in his throat-he gulped dryly-they were gone-their beds stood empty-

where-?

his eyes opened wide in horror and realization-

no-no-No_NO!

they had gone-gone to face shredder-they had gone together-both-Raph-Leo-alone-

three of his sons-he might lose three of his sons-

suddenly there was a crashing sound from the room down the hall- a moment later Vinny came around the corner-clutching at the door frame-his black and yellow striped skin glistening with sweat-his pale blue eyes whirling madly-

Splinter ran to his fifth son and grabbed his arm before he could fall-Vinny stared at him uncomprehendingly for a moment-then slowly his eyes cleared-

"Father-"

Splinter took his sons face in his hands..."What did you see?"

Vinnys eyes were haunted with a fear and a pain that was not his own-

when he spoke his voice was deep and steady...

"I know where they are..."


	19. Chapter 19

A scream echoing around and around the endless room- never ending- terrible pain- it rose to a pitch and then it was gone...

Raphael took a few stumbling steps towards the bright red light- panic made him clumsy, and the place where his arm should have been threw him off balance and he fell- scrambling to get up again- that was Leo- that was Leo's voice! The hall was so wide- no matter how fast he ran he never got closer- fear was a creature tearing at his stomach-

Another scream- this one weak- breaking- faultering - dying...

"No- No!" Raph forced himself to move faster-

Something was moving- up ahead- the light was coming from there-

a machine- a massive machine made of fire and metal- dragging itself across the marble floor-

at its center something hung limp- then it raised its head-

it was Leo...

His eyes were pale, and glinted like white orbs in his dark face... He was beyond seeing, he was not alive do he couldn't die, and the torture just continued on and on... He was not aware of the flurry of movement benieth him or the sudden cries all he new was the jolt and grinding of metal around his body and the white heat issuing from the air vents...Too hot...He was too hot...His mind was a pool of molten metal...His eyes two coals... He didn't even know who or what he was anymore...

Raphael ran at the demon made of iron and steel with a roar of rage, in his mind he wasn't even sure what he was about to do, he had no weapons, no strategy hell, he didn't even have two arms what was he going to do to stop this thing?

The steam coming from the holes around its face made a screaming sound- it swerved down to peer at him- red light illuminated the space in front of it like two spotlights- it reached for him-

 **Ok, happy new year guys, been really busy, I'm making an animated movie, about gangster trolls so not much time for fanfiction however much I love it, I will try to keep posting on here, if you want to check out my movie go to youtube and look up Brit Sellers, you will see my head pop up as a trolls face, click on that and enjoy...**

 **Sorry this chapter is so short by the way.**


	20. Chapter 20

Raphael leaped aside as the machines clawed hands snapped at the air where he had been- as he ducked past the wires and pipes he caught sight of something that wasn't made of metal- his brothers gaunt face inches from his own - for a split second they were eye to eye, and the next Leo was lifted up again carried away by the machine as it went for him again.

"LET HIM GO!" Raph shouted running at the monstrous thing - leaping up he kicked one of its legs out from under it- falling back to the floor Raph landed hard and lay there for a moment dazed, something was screaming- bloody murder - it hurt his aching head and made his teeth knock together in his jaw- the loud hum of his shell as it vibrated from the sound the machine was making drove all thoughts from his mind- all he could do was lay there with his one good arm held fast over his ears, trying to drive out the noise-

Then eveything was quiet...

He opened his eyes, and sat up. the light had gone out, he couldn't see anything. slowly he began crawling towards where he guessed the machine was, where his brother was... "Leo? talk to me bro, make some noise, come on, Leo?" Raph reached out and touched hot metal, his skin seared and he drew back his hand with a grunt of pain. "Leo damn it say something!" still everything was quiet, no, wait, he heard something. He felt a prickling along the back of his neck... yes, it was that thing gibbering away in the dark, the thing he had met before when he had realized his arm was gone. It was here now, and from the sound of it it was dragging something...

Leo!

"Get away from him!" Raph snarled stumbling blindly towards where he guessed the sound was coming from- he tripped and fell over what felt like legs, there was a hiss and then a quick shuffling and then the creature was gone, Raph didn't care, the body under him was cold and stiff, and across its back was the hard round shell, choking in his panic Raph grasped his brothers shoulder as best he could with his one free arm and rolled him over.

"Oh God- don't do this to me bro- come on-"

in the dark Raph couldn't see anything, under his fingers Leos skin was shivering, but his body felt as stiff as any corpse, Raph shifted trying to get a better hold, there was a slippery wet liquid on his hand, blood, coming from Leonardos throat, where the shredder had cut him.

"No-"

"Leo? Your-"

"Donny- don't cut- please- "

"Leo, don't move! Your bleeding- Just-"

"No- I tried- I'm sorry- I'm sorry I failed-"

"Leo- just hold on-"

something was happening, he was fading- through his hands Leonardo fell and struck the ground- he was dizzy- there was a pale light- voices-

"He's coming back Sensei, I think he's- yea, yea there we go, there we go, hes coming back-"

Leos body lay alone in the darkness...


	21. Chapter 21

He was alone...Alone in the dark.

From the dryness in his eyes he judged they were open... But he couldn't see anything... He couldn't swallow...In fact at the moment he couldn't breath... What that meant he didn't know, if he was dead it didn't really matter if he could breath or not, but if he was dead he shouldn't be able to feel anything...

Leo lay on his side, on the stone beside the motionless body of the metal creature that had attacked him...

How long he laid there was anyone's guess, there wasn't really such a thing as time down here...

Red... Red color... Why did that color matter? What was it?

Somehow it was important... It meant something important... What?

Red... Red...Raphael... Raph... That's what the color meant.

Leo raised up his head, his brother was here, or had been here, he was almost sure of it. Pain, dull pain, blinding pain, fire- death-

Leo fell back down again...

He couldn't move yet...

There was a low groan somewhere away in the dark...

Somthing was there-

"Raph?" The sound that came out of his torn throat was hardly a word, but whatever it was in the dark answered him...

Leonrdo felt a jolt of panic, whatever it was back there, it wasn't Raph...

"alone, now were alone, now we can have fun, alone, down here in the dark..."

Something black scuttled towards him... From the sound of it, it had too many legs, it moved like a crab moves, and five glowing points of light swung towards him...

"No- Get back-" Leo forced his legs to kick and somehow managed to scoot himself farther away from the whatever it was... His back came up against a stone pillar, he lay slumped against it... The black thing came closer... just a few feet away now...

It seemed almost afraid to touch him...

For a moment the two of them just sat there, sizing eachouther up, measuring the threat, measuring weakness...

Finally Leo found the strength to speak.

" Where is my bother?"

"Gone... Gone... Gone..."

" Did you hurt him?"

" No... No,can't hurt him... Can't hurt him now... No no no no no ..."

" Where is this?"

" Here... This is here..He's there, we are here..."

" Where is here?"

" This place... "

" Am I dead? Is this hell?"

" NoNo no no...no your... In hell... But not dead no... Not now... Not yet..."

" Are you here to kill me?"

" Yes... Yes yes ... "

" Then what's taking you so long? "

" Can't yet... Must wait...Wait ..Not long... Almost time... Almost..."

" Are you afraid of me?"

" Yes... But not long... Soon I can... Soon..."


	22. Chapter 22

" They were here, " Splinter touched the dead guards pinned to the wall, his sons shurukin buried in their bodies...

" Father,"

Splinter stood up and turned to his fifth son, Vinny held open the door of the elevator, once the old rat was inside he let them close...

Vinny shut his eyes and a look of pain crossed his face... He swayed...

Splinter grasped his arm...

" What is it my son?"

Vinny gritted his teeth...

" Leonardo-"

Splinter swallowed and his arm shook...

" We're losing him..."

Splinter watched the light blink as they passed each floor... He pressed his dry wrinkled hands against the cool metal...

This is all my fault...

Beside him Vinny was lost in a pain that wasn't his own...


	23. Chapter 23

Raphael and Leonardo were laying on the floor... The walls and ceiling were splattered with their blood... They were completely still...

Splinter fell, collapsing against the wall, sliding down it onto the floor, gasping for breath, his eyes fixed on the bodies of his two eldest sons...

Vincent hurried past him, kneeling down he felt for signs of life... There were none...

"No..."

Vincent shook his head against the truth... against the voices in his head that whispered...

"No, NO!"

Reaching down Vinny took each of their cold hands and bowed his head... He wouldn't let this happen... He wouldn't let this happen...

Vincent's voice came out hoarse, almost a growl, he spoke through his gritted teeth, sweat broke out on his forehead...

"Our father, which art in Heaven..."


	24. Chapter 24

With every passing second Leo felt himself losing strength, and with each passing second, the thing crouching in the dark moved a little closer to him... Leo tried to get ahold of himself, he tried to fight, but he was so tired, and there was a black feeling that dampened his spirits... He reached up a shaking hand and felt of his throat, he felt the deep gash in it, he felt the torn muscle and hanging ligiments... The hole in his throat was now dry... It wasn't bleeding anymore... So why was he still alive? No- wait, he wasn't alive, he was dead right? This was hell and he was dead...

Leo finally accpted that fact, and the second he did so, he felt all the strength leave him... His head fell back and soundlessly he slumped over and lay sprawled on the ground...

His mouth opened in a silent scream...

" Yesssss..."

The thing pawed at him in the dark...

Leo tried to move but found that he couldn't, pain suddenly laid hold of him, in the dead quiet, perfectly still, trapped in his own body, he experienced more pain then he had ever thought possible...

Althe while the thing in the dark waited...


	25. Chapter 25

"No- no! Come on Leo breath!"

Vinny held his brothers head, keeping the slit in his throat pressed closed, his hands shook... Splinter lay beside his sons, tears streaming down his face, in each of his hands he held theirs... Donny was coming... Casey and April were staying with Mikey... The old rats world had crashed around him in one terrible night... By morning it was only too likely he would have not five, but two sons... It was too great a price... Splinter bowed his head... They could not move Leonardo or Raphael without killing them... His dark wet eyes fell on the blades sticking up through his sons plastron... At the gash in Leo's neck that was seeping a lake of red blood... Every now and again it would bubble as his son tried to breath... Vincent tried to block out the waves of pain coming from his brothers, he had to focus... He had to bring them back... Had to keep them here... As he prayed he suddenly became aware of another presence... a dark creeping shadow appeared behind Leonardo... It crouched there, watching and waiting... Vincent leaned protectively over his brothers body and challenged it...

" Get away from him!"

Splinter looked up, he saw Vinny glaring apparently at the wall...

Then he saw it too...


	26. Chapter 26

Why? Why was it always their family? Always them... Why couldn't it be someone else? Anyone else? Why was there so much pain? Why? That was the only question he wanted answered...

Donny swiped at his eyes, trying to clear them so he could see to drive... The streets were blurry, the lights massive colored circles bleeding into everything... It was hard enough to see without the tears...

It was always Leo and Raphael... They always ran out to take the hit... Eager to die if it would save one of the others... Eager to take one for the team... For the family... As much as they fought they were really just the same person... Raphael was a hot head to be sure, but really under all the gruff talk he was the mirror image of Leonardo, loyal, good, brave, fearless... Now, he might lose them both...

Fresh tears ran down his face blinding him... His head throbbed behind his eyes... His throat hurt... He felt cold...

Well, what else do you expect if you never sleep and you are constantly stressed out... Donny didn't care if he was coming down with something... What did it matter? Three of his brothers were hanging by a thread and it was up to him to save them...

There was a copper taste in his mouth... Suddenly he realized he was biting a hole in his cheek...

He spat out the blood...

Almost there...

Vinny and Splinter... Was that really all he would have left? How could any of them survive without Mikey's laugh, without Raph's attitude, without Leo's calming presence... How would they cope if six became three? If it was just himself and Vinny and Splinter?

The foot clan was no more...

Shredder was dead...

And life as he knew it might well be over...

Donny clutched the steering wheel and struggled with the raw panic and fear that was tearing at his insides... He felt like running away from his life, back to some indistinct comforting memory when everything was alright... When no one was hurt... When they were all together...

They were all so young... Donny realized that now like he hadn't before... He liked to think of them all as adults, as masters, as protectors or guardians... Until now he had never considered the possibility that they were not a match for the world... That they were not untouchable immortal heroes... Now he knew... A rude awakening... How fragile they were... How innocent and foolish...

They were not ready... They were not ready to die or to live yet... Everything was happening too soon...

Donny looked at his chewed fingernails... Just bloody stubs... The skin raw and swollen... Funny, he didn't remember ever chewing them...


	27. Chapter 27

Claws dug into the flesh of his leg, there was no blood left to flow, Leo flinched as he felt his skin tear... Slowly he was being drug away, little by little into the dark... Leo tried to gather the strength to fight but he just couldn't, he couldn't even move, he was helpless...

"No... No...Won't leave... Eat... Will eat... Life... Will eat life...No protection... You can't...Stop...Me...From taking... Him... You lose... I win... Dark ... Into the dark..."

The crawling thing gibbered to itself as it tried to drag him away... Leo listened to it silently, terror at its splintered words built up in his chest, his head slid back as it drug him across the ground, the gap in his neck tearing even wider, pain burning, blinding flashes of it, his mind frantic, a stirred pot, a painting smeared, mixed up, memories crazed, flying over feilds, black skyline, red moon, color, blurring together in a splintering of shapes and feelings, he tried to cry out, to summon help, to fight, to move, it was all hopeless...

"Get away from him..."

The words echoed in his mind, coming out into the hall, the thing that was taking him away froze and let him go suddenly as though it's hands had been burned... Turning it let out a venomous hiss and bared its teeth, lips wrinkled back over its forehead, chattering like an ape...

"You can not have him-

Leo! Raph- oh God-

-My son- don't-

Let him go-

You can't have him! Release him!-

I can't- if we move- worse- careful!

His head! Watch-

-Down the hall-

We can-do-

\- not breathing!-

WERE LOSING-

Please don't-!

RAPHAEL!

The voices came all at once- all in a micro second-

The black thing was gone...

He was alone...

Leo blinked and sat up, he could move now,

He tried to speak, but found he couldn't, the pain was still there, and the wound in his neck was worse...

He scrambled to his feet and backed against the pillar behind him...

It was gone... It was alright... He was alright...

Well. as good as he could be in hell...


	28. Chapter 28

"Oh God..."

Donny stood frozen in the doorway to the Shredders chamber, what he saw there turned his blood to ice...This was as close to hell as you could get...

Vinny was kneeling on the floor between Leo and Raph, covered in their blood, his eyes closed, Splinter was lying half collapsed on top of Raph, cradling his sons head in his lap, he didn't seem to notice as Donny came into the room, and with shaking hands set to work...

A major artery was severed in Leonardo's throat, by some miracle his head had been angled just right, pinching it shut, keeping his airway open, Donny was terrified, the wound was severe, one wrong move and they would lose him...

There was so much blood over his plastron and shoulders Donny couldn't be sure there were not other wounds, he did a quick search and discovered the bullet holes... This wasn't good... This was really not good...

choking back nausea Don turned to his other brother, what he saw made him retch...

The shredders knives were sticking out of Raph's plastron, deep jagged cracks spread out from the initial wounds all across his chest and stomach, each fissure oozed a deep crimson river of blood, the only thing keeping him alive was the metal of shredders knives stemming the blood flow...

Two brothers... Two deadly wounds... It was all down to him... He was the only one who could help them...

Donny paled as he realized this...

It was all up to him...

he had to be quick, he couldn't make a mistake, but who did he choose first?

Either way his choice could prove to be a death warrant to his brothers, if he moved one of them it could kill them, whoever he left could die before he could work on them...

Donny looked at the red lake around Raphs body, despite the severity of Leo's wounds it was Raph who had lost the most blood...

He wouldn't survive much longer without care...

It would have to be here...

Donny swallowed, he turned and staggered back out into the hall, rushing down to the laboratory he had seen on his way here...

They wouldn't survive the trip back to the lair, he had to operate here...

Franticly Don ran to the operating table, he shoved the thing beneath the white blanket off into the floor carelessly, he ignored the blood that ran from it as it landed on the hard stone tiles...

He went to the many containers and cabinets along the walls, vials and needles skidded across the floor as he rummaged through everything,

he let out a cry as he found what he searched for, a scalpel, and a thin tube...

"Yes, clear his air way- Trachea- Yes-"

Don turned and ran back to the room where his brothers were, he got down on his hands and knees beside his eldest brother and careful not to move his head, made a small incision just below Leo's adam's apple and inserted the tube into his brothers neck...

Vinny remained oblivious to all this, lost in prayer in the fight to keep Leo alive...

"Splinter- Dad- come here, you have to breath for Leo- I have to operate on Raph- breath normally and don't let him move- I don't know how but there is still circulation and blood flow to his brain, but we have to keep him breathing, here, like that- and try to keep pressure on these bullet holes here, place your hand on this rag, yes, like that- I'm going to work on Raph now- just keep breathing for Leo..."

Donny watched as Splinter placed his mouth over the end of the tube sticking out of Leo's throat, evenly and slowly he breathed into it-

Leo's chest rose and fell...

All the while his other hand maintained pressure on the wound in his side...

Now for Raph...

Donny's eyes searched the room and landed on one of Leo's swords...

He would have to cut off the Shredders arm to move his brother without triggering the bleeding...


	29. Chapter 29

Mikey opened his eyes...

It was warm... He was in a green forest, moss covered everything, and the massive trees had roots that coiled over the ground like snakes...

His mind was blank, he didn't know where he was or what was happening, and really he didn't care...

It was nice here...

Looking up he grinned at the white bird perched over his head... So he wasn't alone after all...

" Hey you!"

The bird cocked its head.

" Ive got some cheese crackers in my sweater pocket if you want some, they're a bit stale but hey birds can't be choosers am I right?"

Reaching into his pocket Mikey brought out a handful of smashed and crumbled cheese its and scattered them on the ground for the bird to eat...

It stared at his suspiciously...

"Come on dude, I won't hurt ya! Look I'll back up..."

Mikey put his hands up and took a few steps away from the cheese crackers and waited...

After one last glance in his direction the bird flew down and began pecking at the food...

Mikey grinned and moved a bit closer...

The bird stopped eating...

Mikey froze...

" I won't hurt ya, I swear! "

The bird blinked at him and continued eating...

" You don't trust me huh? Ah well, listen I'll let you alone, I got some stuff to do anyway... Or at least I think I do, hmmm I wonder if there is a pizza joint around here... I can't even remember the last time I had lunch..."

He stood up and looked around...Everything looked the same, Mikey shrugged and started walking...


	30. Chapter 30

**Ha ha I know that some of my other stories do not show April in a favorable light, but I actually do like the original April so I am making this one that version of her she will play a major role in the next few chapters, I want to thank everyone who has written in! you guys rock and really feed my creative genius, so thanks to the bubbly one, and Yukkio87, Raigon, bright lotus moon,rhodesincolumbus, tmnt queen,pownxmanonnie, and everyone who has favorited my stories! I will be writing more soon, all your questions will be answered, Leo and Raph, their fate will be decided, Donny's skills and wit will be tested, and Mikey will decide which way his path will go, on to the light... or back to his lif among his brothers... At the moment I have come down with a nasty bout of stomach flu so I am too sick to write anymore, but I promise to update this soon...**

 **if anyone has any questions regarding Vinny, you can read his story ghosts in the attic in my list of fanfics I wrote,**

 **stay chillin guys**


	31. Chapter 31

The trail of blood left behind him as he drug Raph through the hall was stark against the white tiles... Try as he might to keep his brother off the ground the ends of the knives sticking out of his back still scraped across the floor. More blood... So much blood...

Donny gasped for breath as he desperately tried to lift Raphs bulky frame onto the operating table... Limp as a rag doll his brothers arms and head flopped from side to side as he was moved...

More blood splattered onto Donny's feet...

More blood... How could there be so much blood?

" Ok- OK you got this Don- you got this-"

Reaching over to the IV bags in the corner he attached one line to himself, and one to Raphs wrist, he had to do a transfusion now or his brother wouldn't survive the next few minutes...

Donny blinked as his blood began to run into Raphs body, he had to do this just right... Couldn't afford to lose too much or he would be no help to anyone... He still had to save Leo...

" Just like in the movies Don, just like in the books... You got this... You can do this..."

He swiped the sweat out of his eyes...

Blood smeared across his forehead...

The heart monitor that kept track of both himself and Raphs vital signs began to beep and hum...

" You got this..."

He had never been much good at lying...

He couldn't even fool himself...


	32. Chapter 32

Splinter was beginning to panic... Leo's temperature was dropping rapidly... His blood gurgled out of the slot in his neck and the wound in his side bubbled and dripped every time his chest rose...

Vinny was muttering something...

His hand gripped Leo's as a cold sweat broke out on his brow...

Splinter was suddenly bucked off of his sons body...

Leo's eyes flew open- they were white- rolled up in his head- his mouth opened and blood came out- He began convulsing-

" No!"

Vinny's scream echoed his own- Splinter didn't know what to do-

" Donny! DONNY! WE'RE LOSING-"

"LEONARDO!"

BLOOD-SO MUCH BLOOD- FOUNTAIN OF RED - NO-

MY SON!


	33. Chapter 33

"WE'RE LOSING HIM- WE'RE LOSING- "

" DONNY! DONNY LEO HE'S-"

Donny paused, both hands buried inside of Raphs plastron- the shredders knives and severed arm lay on the ground in a lake of red that was slowly spreading across the floor-

Sweat ran down his face-

His own blood ran into Raphs body-

He couldn't stop-not now-

He couldn't even take a second to disconnect the tubes draining his blood from his wrist-

Vinny and Splinter appeared in the door way, carrying Leo-

Donny cried out when he saw his brothers face-

His hands jerked-

Blood welled up in the holes in Raphs chest-

Donny cursed and continued working-

Vinny and Splinter carried Leo to another table-

" Donny what do we do-? What do we do Donny?"

Donatello tried to clear his eyes by blinking but it didn't work- he was losing too much blood-

Dizzy- fog-

"DONNY!"

Splinter was there, he took out the tube-

Donny shook his head a little and pinched one of Raphs arteries close-

"Put- put the transfer tube in Vinny's arm- attach the other end to Leo's wrist- hook him up to life support- I can't leave yet- Raph is bleeding internally-"

Splinter rushed to Leo's side and started hooking him up to the machines-

Donny shook his head again- dizzy-

Suddenly Raph stopped breathing-

At the same time Leo flatlined-

Donny was aware of someone screaming-

" NO-NO WERE LOSING THEM- RAPH! BREATH RAPH! COME ON! "

" LEONARDO! MY SON-"

" CLEAR-!"

Donny shocked Raph heart-

Nothing...

Beside him Splinter was doing the same thing to Leo-

Still nothing-

Vinny was standing with his head bowed- he cried out and opened his eyes-

" IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE HOLY GHOST BREATH!"

There was a stillness-

Raphs monitor started up again- his heart beating slowly but surely-

" There we go- there we go, I think-yea, he's coming back - we got him-"

Raph's eyes flickered open-

His mouth opened -

" Leo..."

Beside them... Splinter watched as Leonardo's heart began to beat once more... Twice-

And then it stopped completely...


	34. Chapter 34

Raph moaned, around him he could dimly hear voices, shouting, but he didn't heed them... There was so much pain... So much pain... His chest was open...His body cracked and broken... Open to the air... His blood ran out of him freely... He couldn't think... Couldn't breath... It hurt so bad...

His eyes rolled and his mouth opened and blood poured out of it...

Why couldn't it just stop?

Why couldn't it just end?

Everything had gone wrong... They had killed Shredder... But they had killed themselves too...

But... It was worth it... It was all worth it...

Raph swallowed the blood in his throat... Gentle hands... Shaking... Wake up Raph... Don't do this to me Raph...

Sorry... Can't fight anymore...

No more...

His heart stopped again...

ELECTRICITY!

Raphs body jerked and twisted as Donny jump-started his heart-

Sweat poured off Don's forehead as he rushed between his brothers- both were flat lining

Vinny was trying to stay on his feet as his blood was pumped into Leo's body...

"CLEAR!" Donny cried

Leo's body arched and was still...

"CLEAR!"

Electricity -

"CLEAR!"

Nothing-

"NO- NO -COME ON LEO!"

Blood suddenly spurted- Leo's eyes opened- the heart monitor spiked- his eyes locked on Donny's-

Vinny gasped and clutched his head in his hands-

Splinter did the same-

Donny saw something in Leo's eyes-

Something terrible...

Then they closed...

Donny choked and stumbled to his brother, he couldn't hear the machines over the drumming of his own heart- he glanced at the monitors-

There, slowly, weakly, Leonardo's heart beat appeared on the screen...

He was alive...

But only just...

Donny let out a strangled sob and dashed away the water in his eyes-

He turned to Splinter, the old rat was shaking all over and swallowing, in that one split second of awareness both he and Vinny had experienced what Leonardo was experiencing... It left them shaking and sick...

Donny locked eyes with his father,this was it, this was the last desperate struggle... The last battle...

" Dad, we got to work fast... Hand me that needle, we have to close the wound on Leo's neck... I need you to breath for Leo while I work... Vinny, take that out of your arm, if you lose any more blood you will go into shock... I need to to pinch this artery closed- when I say- "

Donny grasped the needle...

And picked up the scalpel...

To sew up the muscle he had to cut the outer skin...

His hands shook as he looked down at his brother...

He saw the deep red slit in his throat...

Swallowing the nausea, Donny made the first incision-

Leo made a noise...

Oh God- he could feel it-

He couldn't stop now-

He cut deeper-

Leo's throat constricted-

A sound- inhuman-broken- agony-

Donny felt something vibrate and realized what it was-

Leo-

His voice box-

It had been cut in two...

Splinter saw it too... He saw it through the torn place...

"Keep going my son, don't stop-"


	35. Chapter 35

Donny collapsed against the wall and slid down to the floor... Covered in his brothers blood his skin was more red than green... His breath came in deep gasping pants and his eyes were closed... Still he could see the torn flesh and the ruptures and the stitching... That was by far the worst operation,,, the hardest thing he had ever done... He had been working for nine hours straight... Long after Splinter and Vinny had collapsed from exhaustion he had continued working... Now both brothers lay unmoving and still but alive on the tables... The floor was coated in a caked and drying layer of red... Shredders knives and severed hand lay discarded by the door... The police would surely be here soon... But there was no way to move his brothers without killing them...

And then there was Mikey...

He was unstable and had a terrible fever when he had left... His little brother needed him... And he wasn't there...

Donny shut his eyes against the tears...

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, the loss of blood or simply the frantic motion of an exsausted mind, but in this moment Donny was filled with a deep and bitter hatred of his elder brothers ... He felt no guilt or remorse for this pure loathing of his siblings... They had tried to abandon him and the rest of their family... They were the cause of all this pain and anguish... They were to blame...

He looked over at the machines keeping them alive...

Raphs eyes moved under their lids... His plastron rose and fell slowly...

Donny gritted his teeth together...

No, Raph was not responsible for this decision... He wouldn't have done any of this on his own no matter how angry or hot headed he got...

No, Leonardo was to blame... This was all his fault...

Maybe it was a good thing... Maybe it was for the best if Leo didn't wake up...


	36. Chapter 36

April sat beside Mikey's bedside her head in her hands...

His fever was getting close to the 104 mark...

Mikey had always been prone to fevers, April remembered Splinter telling her about all the times he had actually had to go out and steal medical supplies in order to bring it down,

She smiled sadly, the old rat loved his children, he still thought of them as little kids even though they were teenagers who faced death and pain nearly every day...

In fact to the humiliation of Mikey and the smug joy of Raph Splinter often called his youngest son his " fever baby"

She looked up at the sweat pouring off the young turtle... He moaned alot at first but for the last few hours he had grown silent and still... April didn't know what to do for him, she wasn't a doctor, and Donny had left in such a hurry he didn't have time to explain anything...

Basically all she could do was take his temperature and be there for him in case he woke up...

Speaking of which she had probably better take it again...

April picked up the old thermometer Splinter had given her earlier and placed it under Mikey's armpit.

After a moment she took it away...

105.


	37. Chapter 37

Raph opened his eyes... He couldn't help it, a low keening sound came out of his throat... So much pain... Deep horrible pain... He didn't even have the strength to struggle against it... And even if he had he wouldn't have been able to move because of the leather straps holding him down... Raph felt a wetness on his cheeks and realized he was crying...Â

The operating table lurched slightly and Raph let out a gasp of agony... Under his bandages the blood oozed... Staining the strips of cloth a deep red...

"Careful my son... Don't jostle him..."

"I've got him father..."

Raph stared up at the lights on the ceiling... Someone was moving him... Where-?

What happened?

Raph tried to remember but his mind was too groggy and the pain in his chest distracted him...

It felt like someone had run him through with-

No- Leo-!

Raph choked and turned his head trying to see what was happening...

Where was his brother? Why couldn't he see? Why was everything so blurry?

Another groan... Soft hands... Warm...

" Shhhhh, stay still my son...It's alright now... You're safe..."

Raph struggled to breath as he looked up at the brown figure wavering in and out of focus over him...

"D-d-dad?"

"Shhhhh, don't try to speak..."

"Whe- whe- re- Le-o-?"

"Shhhhh... Rest now... Sleep my son..."

Somthing was wrong... Where was Leo? If splinter was here did that mean he was safe? Where was his brother? His neck had been severed... You can't live through something like that-

"L-L-Le-o"

The bed he lay on was sat down into a dark place... He felt different hands, and heard a soft murmuring... The hands were black and yellow...Vinny...

His hands were trembling...

Raphs head lolled to the side so that he could see out the door of the shell raiser...

His vision cleared a little as he watched Donny and Splinter come into sight once more... They were carrying something between them...

As they came closer he saw what it was...

"N-n-n-noooooo..."

Leonardo was lying on a table, his mouth was open and tubes were sticking out of it... His skin was gray... A deathly gray... Contrasting with the black and red gash in his throat that was so crumpled and streached from the stitching ... The black bruising on his plastron showed the places where the bullets had entered... His shell had deep cracks in it that he had not noticed during the fight... When his face turned towards him Raph let out a strangled sob...

He didn't look like himself... He didn't resemble his brother at all... It was a stranger that Donny and Splinter lay down beside him in the back of the van... Someone he didn't know... Someone alien and strange...

Raphs eyes strayed to that of his immediately younger brother... And the look on Donnatellos face desturbed him even more...

It was cold and full of hatred... Bitter strong hatred... Raph had never seen that look on Don's face before... With his eyes locked on Leonardo's prone frame Donny didn't notice Raphs fevered eyes watching him... And he didn't try to hide it when he shoved Leo's limp arm roughly aside so that he could close the door... Tearing the jagged stitches and causing his elder brother to bleed again...


	38. Chapter 38

Donny gripped the wheel as he drove... His eyes narrowed and locked on the road... In the backseat Splinter and Vinny cared for Raph and Leo...

Raph had a shot at surviving this. The organs he had taken from the dying foot soldiers were still viable... Donny pushed aside the memory of cutting into the half conscious humans to get at their organs... The liver, Kidney, and heart valve he had had to take and transplant into Raphs body should mesh, with the proper injections of mutagen, it shouldn't be a problem, and the knives that the Shredder had left impaled in Raphs plastron had actually helped to keep him alive, stemming the bleeding enough so that he could be saved.

Then there was Leo...

Donny gritted his teeth together... There was no hope for him... He was dead meat... He had lost too much blood and he probably wouldn't even survive the trip home... Hell, that was the reason he had focused mainly on Raphs wounds, at least he could be saved, it was tough luck that Leo had gotten cut right over his main artery, if he hadn't focused on Raph and just kept struggling with the hopeless cause that was his eldest brother he might have died...

The sympathy he had felt at first had withered away and was replaced by nothing more then blame and bitterness... He didn't feel sorry for his eldest brother at all... He deserved what he got. Always playing the martyr, always making decisions that affected the whole family, always acting like he was some kind of perfect God...

He deserved it...

Splinter closed his eyes as he stroked his eldest sons forehead, he felt like he was carved out of stone, his skin was hard and cold... Raph moaned and turned to look at his father ... Splinter saw the pain in his sons eyes... but he could do nothing... he was helpless...

When Donny got back to the lair all hell had broken loose...

April and Casey met him at the door, they looked almost as bad as he knew he must look. Like they hadn't slept. Like they hadn't stopped fighting since he had left. In the moment he saw their panicked faces Donny knew.

Mikey...

His breath caught in his throat and he ran into the lab- leaving his other wounded brothers to Casey, Splinter and Vinny...

Mikey was so still... so very still... The only thing that betrayed the fact that he was still alive was the steady beep of the heart monitor. Don breathed a sigh of relief when he felt of his younger brothers brow. Cool... normal... There was nothing wrong here, he was fine, the fever had broken, why-?

Then his eyes fell on the readouts from his computer...

Brain hemorrhage... Massive trama...


	39. Chapter 39

Ok, so I am going to update this story soon, it is going to get darker before it gets lighter, lots of angst, pain, and bitterness... But it will have a happy-ish ending, I know this has been one of my darker stories, it might be because of my state of mind at the moment which is rather violent ( I have to study to pass the ACT test and I'm having a terrible time with algebra) or it might be some kind of faze where I like to torture the guys. Who knows. If you don't like violence or pain or rage you probably aren't reading this, if you are like me and are a shade darker than most fanfiction goers then enjoy, this ones for you...

Also I love reading your reviews, I like to know your opinions on my stories and to know who is actually reading this, its more personal in a way, you guys aren't just statistical numbers on a grid. Anyway, enough rambling, one thing I want to say, any hurts or rifts in the family could very well turn out to be permanent...

evil chuckle...


	40. Chapter 40

**Amonraphoenix had some really cool suggestions for this story, we might be teaming up in future, who knows, anyway really cool stuff which I have decided to add in, so special thanks amon! Ok, on with the pain, torture angst and intrigue...**

Raph and Mikey were going to stay in the lab under Donny's close supervision, and it was decided that Leonardo would be placed in the dojo with Master Splinter... There wasn't enough room for all three of them to be in the lab and Donny had flatly refused to allow Leo to be placed in there in Mikey's stead. Splinter agreed reluctantly that it was too great a risk to move Mikey until he came out of his coma, and Raph had to be hooked up to the machines and needed constant monitoring... So the equipment was moved into the dojo and Leo was placed on life support...

Donny closed down the lab for the night, shutting off all his computers and dimming the lights so that the only sounds were the gentle click, click, click of Raph's respirator... His head ached and the pain throbbed just behind his eyes as he went out and started climbing up the stairs to his room... He didn't sleep much anymore... But that didn't matter... hell... nothing mattered anymore...

Mikey wasn't going to get better... The extent of the damage couldn't be determined until he woke up, but whatever it was it would be bad... He might be a vegetable for all he knew... Raph was going to recover, that much he did know... He would recover... As long as his body didn't reject the transplants and he was kept clean and warm he would pull through this...

Leo... There really wasn't any hope for him, he had lost too much blood, the strain on his heart was too much... Hell, he might have brain damage too... As the doctor in the family he had to keep a level head and make the big decisions...

Vinny was standing in the hall, leaning against the door frame of his room, much the way that Raph used to, he looked up as Donny came closer and his cold ice blue gaze made Donny shiver. It was almost like he had known what he was thinking...He tried to ignore his yellow banded brother but when he tried to walk past Vinny put out his arm and stopped him...

" I don't like this..."

Donny swallowed... He had never gotten used to being around Vinny really, he always managed to unnerve and upset his otherwise calm and clinical brain...

"You don't like what?"

Vinny narrowed his eyes. When he spoke his voice was quiet...

" Don't try anything... You are not going to decide anything for the rest of us, do you understand me?"

Donnys mouth dropped open but he quickly recovered himself...

"You know I wouldn't-"

Vinny interrupted him.

"I mean it Donatello... "

"I won't- wouldn't-"

"Leave him alone... Whether Leo stays or goes is not your choice to make... Its his..."

and with that Vinny moved away from him and went back into his room leaving Donny stunned in the hall...


	41. Chapter 41

Sinister minds team up... Beware world, Amonrapheonix and I are out to create more angst and more madness... Anyway, here is our co-written chapter...( Hopefully I spelled Amons name right...)

Donnie gave a large yawn as he got up make his rounds… First he checked on Mikey and then on Raph,so far both brothers had remained unconscious, but after a week of intensive care, Donnie felt that both of them would recover in time… Or at least as much as either of them could hope to… Mikey was showing signs that he would wake up soon, the colored lights flickering across the screens that monitored his brain function showed he was starting to come out of the coma. But what Donny would discover when his brother opened his eyes he did not know. Would the person lying here now, even be Mikey? Or would it be a complete stranger? Someone who he didn't know, and who didn't know him? Donny reached out and stroked his brother's hand gently, whatever memories he had of his baby brother could be distorted and marred when Mikey finally woke up.

Vinny came into the lab a few moments later; for the past week he hadn't really slept, his sleep had been plagued by things that were not quite memories and yet more than just dreams… Dark things… He found that waking brought very little comfort, but at least he could help a little here whereas in the nightmares he could do nothing more than watch. He looked up and saw Donatello standing beside Mikey's was so lost in thought he didn't notice when Vinny came in.

The yellow banded turtle sighed and went over to the monitors," No change huh?"

Donny shook his head and gritted his teeth together in frustration. He turned away from his brother and massaged his eyes trying to rid himself of the constant headache he'd had since Mikey had been injured.

Vinny's gaze softened a little, "Why don't you take the rest of the night off Don, you're exhausted… When was the last time you slept?"

Donny shook his head. " I can't leave them…"

"Yes you can, I'll stand watch while you go rest… I promise I'll come get you if - if anything happens…." Vinny finished softly...

Donny glanced over at Vinny, careful to look at him in such a way that neither of them made eye contact. It was unnerving enough when Vincent knew what he was thinking. He tried to make his voice normal. "If you're sure…."

"I'm sure, go on. I'll keep an eye on them."

Don nodded and turned to go.

As Donny left the infirmary for the first time in days, his eyes traveled to the dojo where the flickering light of a candle could be seen through the screen door. Donny gave a tired sigh thinking about his aging Father and the grief he must be feeling. He wondered absently when Leo had succumbed to his injuries, yesterday his pulse had been so weak and erratic that Donny figured he wouldn't survive the night, surely he must have passed away by now. One less problem to worry about. One less dead weight to carry. Maybe he would go in and check… The medical side of him wondered how accurate his prediction was, he had given Leo until just after midnight to survive. It was now nearly five in the morning. If rigor mortis had set in then his guess was spot on, if not, he might have misjudged.

Donny carefully approached the partially closed sliding door and gentle opened it, he stepped silently inside. His eyes down cast partially out of respect, but mostly he didn't want to see how much his Father has aged with Leo's passing.

After a few seconds had passed and no acknowledgement of his presence was made by his Master, Donnie's eyes slowly rose.

His Father was sleeping soundly next to the bed where Leo lay. Splinter's face was sunken and pale, his fur dull and grey. He had aged so much in the past few days, it was incredible… Once he was so strong and now he was just a weak old man… An ancient dying rat. Worn out from years of pain, sadness and grief, now he was nothing more than an old fool Donny thought with disdain. If only he would have raised them up and let them live their lives as they would; let the humans deal with their own problems, instead of training them up to be heros…. There were no heros in the real world… Donnie approached the scene moving like a wraith on silent feet. His Father didn't so much as twitch in his sleep, showing how exhausted his Father must be from caring for his mortally wounded son. Donny turned to look at his brother, expecting to find a cold corpse, and took in a sharp breath. He was still alive !Leo was unconscious and barely clinging to life, lost deep in a fever dream...

Donny bent over Leo and carefully lifted up the bandages on his shoulder. The bullet wounds had been neatly stitched by his Father's steady hands. Splinter must have seen the hasty and jagged stitches Don had done and removed them; these were delicate and clean, the flesh was already healing. Donny felt a flash of annoyance at his father for having done that as he covered the wound again. After a moment his hand reached up to uncover the injury that should have killed Leo outright.

Very carefully he peeled back the bandage revealing the gruesome wound. Splinter had tried to sew the tender flesh back together, but despite his best efforts Donnie could see that the flesh would be a knotted mess of scar tissue if it healed.

The wound itself was severely inflamed and infected. Yellow pus mixed with blood oozed up through the stitching and Leo's body trembled as he fought the raging infection that had spread throughout his body. Donny realized that Leo was showing the first signs of septic shock. If he didn't treat the infection now, Leo's organs would begin to shut down until he died a slow and agonizing death.

Donny hurried back to the lab and retrieved a couple of medicine bottles and a syringe. When Vinnie asked what he was doing Donny just said he needed some stuff for Leo and Vinnie returned to his vigil.

When Donny got back to Leo's side, he rolled in his hands the the two bottles of medicine. One bottle held a powerful antibiotic, the other the strongest pain killer Donny had. Donny debated to himself which he should give Leo.

If septic shock had progressed too far and Leo's organs were already failing then giving him the antibiotic would be useless; the infection would be gone, only for Leo to die of renal failure instead. Which brought Donny's mind to the second bottle. If Leo was already beyond saving because of the infection, wasn't it better to give him a quick death instead? If he gave Leo too much of the pain medicine Leo's heart would slow down till it stopped completely and his brother would quietly and painlessly slip away… Which, was more than he deserved.

A soft sigh made him look towards his Father. Master Splinter's hand was clutching Leo's, as if his will alone could keep death away from his eldest son. With a sigh Donny made his choice and filled the syringe. His father stirred and moaned in his sleep. The purple banded brother ignored him and inserted the needle into his brother's arm.

"Donatello?" Splinter rasped sleepily.

Donny looked up as his father spoke his name, having woken just as he finished injecting the contents of the syringe into Leo's veins.

Splinter gave his son a puzzled look having seen the needle in his hand.

"He has a severe infection." Donny explained. Carefully replacing the other bottle into the pocket of his lab coat so his father couldn't see it.

Splinter nodded and sighed, reaching out to touch the bandage covering his eldest son's throat. "Thank you my son, go and rest I'll finish tending your brother."

Donnie retreats to his room and looks at the bottle of medicine he gave Leo. A darker part of Donnie wanted to see Leo die and pay for the crimes he's committed against his family and yet when the opportunity presented itself he choose to save Leo by giving him the antibiotic. Maybe it was for his father… Maybe it was for himself… He didn't know. Hell, he wasn't sure of anything anymore...

Days went by and Mikey and Raph became stronger. Amazingly so did Leonardo under Master Splinters watchful eye, the sepsis infection had been beaten and there didn't appear to be any organ damage caused by it.

One night almost a full three weeks since his brothers were injured, Donny is reading up on recent article about brain trauma and complications caused by it, sitting next to Mikey. He hears a soft sound. Puzzled Donny lowers the magazine he was reading and looks around. Nothing appears to be out of place. Donny is prepared to starting reading again when his eyes drifted to Mikey's face and he stares in shock.

No longer was Mikey sleeping in blissful unawareness but was instead gazing at Donny through squinted eyes half open.

Donny drops his magazine and hurries to dim the lights for Mikey before going over to him.

"Mikey…" Donnie said softly.


	42. Chapter 42

Colors... Blurred together and meshed... He didn't have a name for any of them... But he liked watching them... They danced behind his eyelids as he lay there... On something soft and comfortable... Faces and colors... Colors and faces... Maybe he was a color too... What was that bright color? It made him feel happy... Made him smile... He remembered things that were as blurred as the colors in his head were... He felt happy and warm... Warm and happy... Happy and - hungry... He was very hungry... Hungry for something that was his color and was hot and stringy... Pizz...Pizzz... he didn't know what it was he remembered but he wanted it... Wanted to eat the whatever it was that was his color and tasted so good... He wanted pizz... a...pizzz...a ...

Sound... What was that sound? Someone here with him? Someone moving...

Mikey opened his eyes...

At first he couldn't see very well and wondered if he still had his eyes closed... But then the blurred shapes started coming back into focus... But he felt lopsided, one place where he should have been able to see was just black... His eyes were open but he couldn't see out of one of them... He stared up at the ceiling and contemplated the water dripping from one of the pipes... What was that clear dripping thing called? It was wet... he knew it was wet... Mikey thought hard trying to remember the name for the water...

Cat? Yes, that was it... Cats were dripping from the ceiling... Cats and- and- Frogs? Yes... He was good at this... He liked the cats and frogs... and pizz...pizzz...?

"Mikey,"

The orange banded turtle rolled his eyes over to look at the creature that had spoken... Mikey blinked a few times, trying to see clearly... Donny's face came into focus...

Mikey felt a rush of warmth and joy at seeing the pretty colored creature... He liked the colors in its face, they made him happy... He also felt a secure safe feeling that made him blink as he tried to figure out what it was... He looked down at his hand lying beside him on the bed... More delight at discovering that he was a color too made him grin crookedly... A long dribble of slobber ran down his chin as he grinned down at his own hand and wiggled his fingers... He giggled and through his head back, an action which didn't do much more than make his head roll sideways off the pillow... He was still weak from his wounds and his sickness... Wet... More cats and frogs on his arm... Mikey jerked his head around to look at the pretty creature sitting beside him... He saw that wet droplets like the ones from the pipes were running out of his eyes... They rolled down off his face and dripped onto his arm... Cats and frogs... Cats and frogs... Mikey gurgled in his throat and laughed...


	43. Chapter 43

**Yep two geniuses +one chapter= Awesomeness...**

Splinter closed his eyes and sighed softly trying to repress the need to cough, in his thin wrinkled paw he grasped his eldest son's frail hand. The fever and coughing had lessened with Donatello's medicine, but he was still very ill despite it.

Splinter had no tears left in his eyes, which had grown faded and cloudy with despair, he had wept for all of his sons; For Mikey who did not know his family anymore and was lost in a world of innocents, his mind now that of a child while his body remained that of a young adult. For Donny who had to carry the weight of his two seriously injured brothers alone; who distanced himself from everyone, and hid behind the walls in his mind trying to escape the new reality that he found himself in. For Raph who weakly clung to life and yet still fought resolutely to return to his family, and for his eldest son, Leonardo. A son that was meant to inherit the title of clan leader when he passed from this life, now Splinter doubted this would ever happen, as he gently stroked Leo's hollow cheek.

It had been almost three months since either Leo or Raph had opened their eyes, both brothers were lost deep within coma's. With Raphael it was understandable, his body had gone through a tremendous ordeal that had nearly cost him his life several times from his grievous injuries, despite the time that had passed, most were not fully healed yet.

Leonardo too had gone through a similar experience but unlike his red banded brother, his injuries were fully healed, and there was no reason for him to still remain comatose. Donatello was at a loss to explain why and just said that he would come to when he was ready and left it at that, having his hands full watching over Raphael, and keeping up with a mischievous Mikey to make sure he didn't get into trouble. Splinter sensed the reason why Leo remained in his coma wasn't physical but spiritual. But what nature this hidden spiritual wound was Splinter couldn't decipher.

He understood why his sons had gone that night, why they had made this decision. They had felt they had no choice, but in going to fight the Shredder, Leonardo and Raphael had managed to wound their family more than their enemies ever could have. Even if this family could recover from these heavy blows dealt to them, life would never be the same, the price they had paid was too great, and what they had lost could never be recovered….

Splinter winced as another sharp pain tore through his chest and he coughed weakly, struggling to clear his lungs and take another harsh, gasping breath. He didn't have long. His life was leaving him, his spirit was growing lighter and pulling at the confines of his aged, tired mortal body. He only hoped he could see Leonardo and Raphael's eyes one last time before it was too late. Leaning back against his chair and trying to ignore the ache in his shoulders and chest, Splinter closed his eyes and remembered times that had past, the slow drag of the days he had spent with his sons, that now seemed to have passed so quickly. He remembered reading "Where the wild things are" to his four young children, he remembered Mikey clutching his stuffed animals as he listened to him read. He remembered Donny playing with his trains, Raphael smashing his action figures together and breaking them, and he remembered Leonardo sitting beside him as he meditated, his eldest son had tried so hard to master the art of meditation, and for a while all he could do was close his eyes and pretend. The tired old rat smiled at the fond memories that danced in his mind. Another pain shot through his chest, setting off harsh coughing fit. After a few moments he fell back gasping and trying to regain his breath. He didn't have long…. Not long at all…. He thought exhaustively as his eyes slipped closed and he squeezed his son's bony hand. Splinter was deeply asleep and didn't feel his hand being squeezed softly back.

He saw fire…. Burning on the air…. So this was death… This was pain and sadness…. Things he had only guessed at before…. This was real…. Pain and suffering was real…. Before had just been a dream… Endless wastes, endless halls of black stone, he could feel the pain of his brothers… So desolation had come at last, they would all burn together, because of him, he had done this, he had decided to go, where their doom had fallen he could not remember, his past was a blur, all he knew for certain was that he had brought destruction on the very ones he had tried so ardently to protect. It was over. Everything was lost.

Leonardo wandered unseeing through the underworld of his own mind, tormented by his memories and by his pain. He did not try to find a way out, he did not feel he deserved a path out of this endless darkness. He had created a personal hell for himself and now he stayed inside it, trapped because he did not wish to escape, lost because he did not look for the way back, blinded because he would not see….. Sorrow and remorse, death walked beside him as a friend and a tormentor. Whispering to him….

And yet something called through to him beyond his hell, he turned towards it, resisting the pull and push of death herding him farther and farther away from the light…. It was quiet, but he could hear it if he listened hard enough…. What he heard was something more important than the guilt and pain that surround him. It clutched at his heart, a desperate sensed his Father's sorrow and his Father's fading life….The young warrior gasped and stumbled forward...He couldn't stay in the maze any longer… He had to go back...Splinter needed him...

The way was shut… And one who was dead stood guarding the doorway….

Leonardo stopped in front of the demon that crouched in his path…

White eyes stared out of a skulls face…

"Let me pass…." His voice was a growl. His mouth did not open and he spoke through the slit in his throat.

The demon regarded him steadily…

"Why go back-back-back-they don't want- you-don't love you anymore-you killed them-killed-kill- stay here in the dark-stay in the death-stay here-you have done enough don't you think?"

"Be quiet…. You can not keep me here… Move aside."

"I have one of your brothers-I will let him go if you will stay- stay here in the dark- "

Leonardo looked past the demon and took a step forward.

"LAIR!"

The creature shrank back but held its ground hissing and gurgling in its throat…

No time, he had no time- He was not going to be stopped, not when his father needed him-

He ran at the demon-his voice screaming through the tear in his neck- For a split second it was Oroku Saki barring his way- Leonardo narrowed his eyes- Gritting his teeth together- His resolve hardening into steel- The demon was struck by the force of his body slamming into it-with a shriek it fell into the darkness- White eyes flashing- Leo realized his mistake too soon- Unable to slow or to stop, he fell in after it- Into the pit- Into the nothing….

After what felt like an eternity Leo slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he thought was that it was pleasant to wake up as he had not expected to ever do so world was a blur, and the soft light from the candle on the nightstand hurt him after so long in the darkness. Gradually the room came into focus.

He was in the dojo, the high ceiling and the Japanese symbols painted on the wall confirmed that, why he wasn't in the lab with Raph puzzled him for a moment but then he realized Raph and Mikey must be in there; there was no room, in their small infirmary for three injured turtles.

Leo sighed and closed his eyes in relief. Alive, they were alive or he would have been in there too…. It was alright, the demon had been lying, his brothers were alive in the infirmary recovering from their wounds. Donny was looking after them…. Leo sensed movement near his hand, he opened his eyes and that was when he saw his father lying slumped over from his old rocking chair onto the bed beside him.

Leonardo looked at his exhausted father, at his face and his wrinkled hand which gripped his own. He had aged so much since he had last seen him, yet it was still the same dear, loving master and father he had known for all these years. Leo felt tears come to his eyes and he did nothing to stop them from falling, it was enough for him to just lay there and look at his father.

After fighting the Shredder, after fighting through so much death and hell, to return to find Splinter right here beside him was too much, it was too much… Grief, sorrow, regret, sadness, guilt, pain, love… It was all too much. For how long they stayed like that he did not know, but all too soon Splinters breath grew ragged and he began to cough. Leo tried to help ease his father's pain but he found he was to weak to do much more than lift his hand from the sheets and grip Splinters bony shoulder as he struggled to breath, as the fit slowly died away Splinter opened his eyes and felt his mouth drop open as he looked into Leonardo's concered eyes for the first time in three months.

"My son."


	44. Chapter 44

"My son." Splinter rasped Joyously.

Carefully, Yoshi reached out a trembling hand and stroked his son's brow, this was real, he was alive, he was awake, at long last, his final wish had been granted. Splinter embraced Leonardo, careful not to hurt him, he held his child to his chest and closed his eyes. His son was so weak he couldn't return the hug and his arms fell back on the sheets. " son. I was so afraid we would lose you. I was so afraid you wouldn't wake up." The old rat slowly laid his eldest back onto the pillows, pulling the covers up and patting them. There was a jerkiness to all these actions, and his hands shook . When he looked up again Leo was watching him concernedly, he opened his mouth but Splinter placed his hand over it stopping him.

"No, don't speak yet, you've been asleep for quite some time and should drink something before you try to talk."Splinter muttered and got up from his chair, leaning heavily on his cane.

Leo watched him leave. Noticing how slow his father moved. He was so frail. Splinter stumbled a little as he returned with the tea tray. Leo tried to reach out and help him but found the effort too great and he fell back again panting. It was an effort to just raise up his head, he was helpless, for the second time in his life he was useless. He had been a fool. They had been fools to try to stop the Shredder on their own.

Splinter set the tea tray down onto the small table next to Leo's bed and poured his son a cup of his favorite green tea. The calming aroma wafted around the room over their heads. Leo breathed in the familiar scent and smiled, he had missed this, he looked over at his father. Splinter did not seem to be enjoying the smell, there was sweat running down his forehead and his breathing came out in ragged gasps. As Splinter lifted the cup for his son his hands started to shake and his eyes grew wide.

In one moment Leonardo's world fell apart. In one moment everything he had ever known and loved was gone. That moment had already passed. It had happened when he and Raph had gone alone into the foot headquarters. This was just the after shocks. This was the price that had to be paid. They had cheated Death, and now Death had come to claim its due.

Splinter dropped the cup- It broke apart in a million peices- His hand clutched at his chest- Eyes rolled up- Mouth open- Hair standing on end-

Leo tried to catch him as he fell, but he couldn't- There was a crash as the side table was knocked over- Together they both landed on the floor beside the bed- blood mixed with the shattered glass- Leo felt a terrible pain in his throat as he tried to scream for help- There was no voice- Just whistling air- Desperately he crawled to Splinters body and lifted his father's head into his lap, Yoshi's body stiffened and jerked as his heart tried to keep beating, Leo leaned over him trying to help him breath, but it was hopeless.

He cradled his father in his frail arms, his father was dying and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He couldn't ease his pain, he couldn't save his life, Leo's heart was breaking along with Splinter's. Suddenly his father's body stilled, his eyes opened. Leonardo stopped breathing. There was a galaxy within Yoshi's eyes, a gold and brown swirl of color. A deep pool of black. A light far away. And then the next moment everything went dark. It stopped. The light was gone. Everything was gone. Two gray marbles in a dry face. A shell. A skin. Nothing. Nothing left. He was gone.

Leonardo couldn't believe what was happening. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't be true. He had done this. It was his fault. All his fault.

The tears ran down. He threw back his head in a silent scream. His mouth stretched wide but no sound came out. His face contorted. He wanted to die. He had meant to die. He had done this. He had done this.

I'm so, so sorry father. I'm sorry for everything. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I was trying to protect you. I was trying to protect all of you. I'm sorry. Oh God it hurts. My throat hurts so bad. My world is ruined. And I was the one who ruined it. I destroyed us. I did this. Father, forgive me. I meant no wrong. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't know. Oh father, Sensei. I love you. God I can't do this. I can't do this. Father. I am sorry.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

The shout startled Leo out of his silent torture, he looked up and saw Donatello standing in the doorway, the next second he felt a blow hit the side of his head and he was knocked away from Splinters body. The room was moving, someone with a hammer and an anvil was pounding on the insides of his skull, he felt sick, his eyes opened and he saw that it was Donny who had hit him. His brothers staff lay beside his head. There was blood on it.


	45. Chapter 45

( 60 seconds earlier)

Donny leaned and stretched in his chair, trying to get his back to stop cramping, how long he had sat here at his computer researching comas he did not know, nine or ten hours probably, he hadn't even eaten since yesterday. His eyes burned and his whole body was stiff and ached terribly… But he couldn't give up, Raph needed him.

Mikey sat in the corner with a cloth he was playing with, endlessly finding it amusing he would toss it up in the air and then try to catch it, his reflexes were so slow that he always missed…. But he never got tired of watching it fall, gurgling happily as he watched it flutter to the ground. he looked up at Donny and smiled. His sweet empty smile that broke his elder brothers heart.

Suddenly Donny heard a loud thump come from the dojo, and the sound of shattering glass-

Images of foot soldiers and intruders flashed through his exhausted mind causing him to panic- Donny leaped up from his chair and ran from the lab, grabbing up his Bo staff as he dashed through the door.

He entered the dojo expecting to come face to face with his enemies and froze, shocked at what he saw.

There, on the floor in a mess of blood and spilt tea, was Splinter, lying limp and lifeless, his blank eyes staring up at the ceiling.

Donny's blood ran cold, his mind fell away, along with his reason and his common sense.

All he felt was rage and fear, his eyes went from his father's corpse to the person curled next to him.

Donny felt the scream of grief and anger tear from his throat, there were words in it, and in them were all the pain and the suffering he had felt for over the last four months, in that moment he felt no love for his eldest brother, no compassion or remorse, nothing, nothing but hatred and anger burned in his heart.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

In one moment he was across the room, and his Bo staff was on the floor, covered in fresh blood. Leonardo was crumpled against the wall, unmoving, but he didn't care, he didn't care if his brother was alive or not, all he cared about was the fact that his father was lying limp in his arms, the head flopping around, the arms boneless, already his father was growing cold, losing the warmth of life, that had for so long comforted his sons. Donny knew it was useless to try to revive his father, he knew Splinter was dead and yet still he breathed into the still mouth, and pressed on the chest; feeling it give and expand again and again, until blood came out of Yoshi's mouth and ran down his cheek….. His ribs broken from his son's desperate attempt to save him...

His world was ruined…. Everything was gone….

Donny couldn't see through the tears that ran from his eyes. Throwing back his head he let out a keening wail of grief, rocking back and forth with the battered body of his father clutched in his arms.

After a time he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder, startled he looked up to see Leonardo. His brothers eyes were sad, and red from the tears washing over them. He seemed like he was trying to speak, but no words came out.

Donny's eyes narrowed…

"You….." He snarled.

His voice came out in a growl that sounded more animal than human. He felt a rush of satisfaction when he saw a sudden fear and hurt flash across his brothers face.

Donny got to his feet, lifting Splinter away out of Leonardo's reach. He backed away towards the door, watching as the blue banded turtles strength gave out and he fell back against the bedside.

"This is all your fault…. You killed him… You killed him, and Raph and Mikey… You killed our family. They are all dead now, because of you…. You are not my brother…. I hate you…." Donny screamed.

Leo opened his mouth again, his arms flopping weakly as he tried to motion to his brother. Donny spat on the floor, and then carrying his father's body, he turned and went back to the lab, leaving Leonardo lying there on the floor….


	46. Chapter 46

**Sorry I changed this a few times, can't seem to get in quite right but I think I have this time ha ha, apologies.**

"I'm home guys, got the stuff…"

Vinny sat the groceries down on the counter and started putting everything away, the lair was unusually quiet. There was a sound behind him and when he turned to look he saw Mikey toddling into the kitchen. For some reason even though he could hardly do anything else without help, the youngest turtle seemed to still know how and where to put up cans and food. He loved helping them put things away. Mikey grabbed up a can of peas and placed them carefully into the pantry, when he had accomplished this task he smiled at Vinny and tugged at his yellow bandana.

"Naner." He gurgled.

"No Mikey, my bandana doesn't go in the pantry. "

"Ba- Naner."

"No, Band- ana."

"Naner"

Vinny sighed and patted his little brother's head before going into the lair.

That was when he knew something was wrong…

The lights were off in the Dojo, and there was always a candle or something keeping the place lit, everything was quiet and still. A sudden fear gripped Vinny's heart. He ran to the dojo, afraid of what he would see but knowing his father was dead even before he turned the corner.

It was cold, and dark, there was something lying on the floor, and strange snuffling sounds were coming from it.

"Oh God, Leo…"

Vinny knelt beside his elder brother, his skin was cold, the floor of the lair was always freezing at night, how long had he lain here? Why didn't Donny-?

Vinny growled as he lifted Leo into the bed, covering him with the blanket and feeling the fever that had come back. His face was wet, he was crying…

"Shhhh, it's ok Leo, you're safe now… just sleep… I'll be back in a minute…"

Leo shook his head but didn't say anything, maybe he couldn't speak at all… Vinny lit one of the candles that were sitting in the corner next to the matches, when the light showed him what the room looked like it was all he could do not to punch a hole in the wall. Then he saw Leo. It was not just tears that had made his face wet. It was blood. He must have hit his head when he fell-

Vinnys eyes widened. Donny's Bo staff… His own brother had done this. His own brother. The black and yellow striped turtle didn't even realize he had moved until he was standing in the lab, with split knuckles and his purple banded brother sprawled on the ground at his feet.

* * *

Splinter was kept in the lab overnight. Donny decided that since he couldn't leave Raph and Mikey on their own that he would just burn his father's body somewhere out in one of the sewer tunnels. It was not what Splinter had wanted, in fact Yoshi had always said that he hated the idea of being burned on a pier, he had wanted a Christian burial out in the forest, somewhere quiet and tranquil where he could rest in peace. Donny pinched the skin over the bridge of his nose and sighed. There was nothing he could do to ease the pain in his heart, when he had struck Leonardo with his Bo staff he had felt a rush of satisfaction that had held the pain of his loss at bay for a few moments, but now it had returned full strength… Donny brought a hand up to his jaw, it hurt to move or to open his mouth, it was purple and blue. When Vinny had confronted him in the lab about what he had done to their brother there had been quite a fight. Words and punches had been exchanged, Vinny had knocked him out cold, he had woken up about an hour later, with a cracked jaw bone and two black eyes. Vinny he could only assume was back there with Leo...

Suddenly he heard another thump come from the Dojo… That was the fifth sound in the last 30 minutes. Whatever Leo and Vinny were up to Donny really didn't care. Maybe later, when Vinny left him alone for a minute, the eldest would do the right thing and commit Seppuku. Donny felt nothing at all when he thought of that. He had a lack of compassion or sympathy where Leo was concerned. God he needed to sleep… Later he would go out and start building the pier…. For now, maybe he would just take a short nap…..

Besides, what could possibly happen if he just shut his eyes for a few hours?

Donny got up and left the lab. Heading up to his bedroom he ignored the muttering he heard in Leo's room…

Vinny sat on the edge of Leo's bed, watching as his brother slept fitfully, he was burning up. Vinny scowled as he thought of what Donny had said and done to their older brother, hadn't he already gone through enough? The fight that had ensued between himself and Donatello had been a battle worthy even of Raph… Vinny ignored his sprained wrist . It had been worth it to see his purple banded brother out cold on the floor beside his computers.

He was not going to sit by and let Splinter be burned. He was going to take him away into the forest and bury him properly as he had wished. And Leo was coming with him...

" I have got to get you out of here before he kills you..." Vinny muttered under his breath. He had already placed their bags in the Shellraiser, now he just had to take Leo out too. He wrapped him up in the blanket from the bed and carefully carried him out into the lair towards the back door that lead to the sewer. He had made up his mind. Packed everything they would need. They would stay away from here until Leo had a chance to recover. As they went Leo didn't try to struggle, he was too exhausted and sick to care where they were headed. Vinny took him to the Shellraiser and put him carefully inside, strapping his brother in and making sure he was fairly comfortable before going back to get their father. They would bury him in the forest at KC's grandmothers house. Like he would have wanted...


	47. Chapter 47

Leo slumped against the side of the Shellraiser, his head hurt, his throat hurt, hell, everything hurt. He was so thirsty, but he didn't feel he had the strength to ask for a drink. He wasn't even sure what was going on, all he knew was that there was a terrible sadness. Greater than anything he had ever felt. It was disembodied and confusing.

His mouth opened, forming the words "Splinter" but no sound came. He didn't understand why he could not speak, or why it was so hot in here. Where was his father? Splinter was always there to comfort them when they were sick. Where was he? Why was the ground moving? What was that thing wrapped up in a blanket in the next seat? Leo squinted at it. There was something hanging-

No.

Everything came crashing back. Splinters death. Donny's rage. Vinny carrying him.

His head gave another sharp stab of pain and he shut his eyes. He was shivering. Cold. Now he was cold. Thirsty. Everyone was dead. It was all his fault. Donny and Vinny were the only family he had left. The others were dead. Donny had said so.

"You killed our family... They are all dead now because of you... You are not my brother... I hate you..."

Leo felt his heart breaking. He had destroyed everything. Donny was right. He didn't deserve to have brothers. He deserved to be dead. Along with the others. If only he hadn't made that decision. If only he had stayed home like Splinter had wanted. All of this could have been different. He had done more harm than Saki ever could have. He had become the threat. He had done all of this. Tears ran down his face along with the sweat from the fever. If only he could die and escape this pain. If only he could apologize to them. Tell them-

It felt like his head was on fire and the rest of his body was encased in ice...

Someone was speaking. Dimly he recognized his brother Vincent's voice but he couldn't tell what was being said. He was in too much pain to concentrate.

* * *

Vinny watched the trees rush by as he drove further and further into the country. It was going to rain, you could tell from the storm clouds gathering on the horizon...

A year. That's all the time he had spent with his family since that day so many years ago when Splinter had sent him away to Japan. He had hoped that finally they could be a family again. That he could re-form the bonds he had thought broken. But now that as all gone. All gone. How could they possibly heal from this? Donny had tried to kill Leo. Raph was in a coma. Splinter was dead and Mikey was -

Vinny blinked to clear his eyes so he could see the road.

Almost there...

He glanced back at Leo, and saw he was staring at Splinters body. Somehow he had bumped the sore place where Donny had hit him. It was bleeding again. When they got to Aprils he would have to tend to it so he wouldn't get infected. The dead look in his brothers eyes pained Vinny but there was nothing he could do. He knew what Leo was feeling. It was the same thing he had felt when he had almost killed Mikey in the subway...

 **I'm glad you guys are liking all this drama! Keep up the awesome reviews, ( Narcissistic chuckle)**


	48. Chapter 48

They buried him in the ground. In the damp earth beside a chestnut tree. Just outside of the forest, in a place covered in soft green moss and toadstools... The sky was a dark gray and it began to drizzle, a cool light rain, wind rustling...

Leonardo leaned against April for support, he could not stand on his own without help. But he had to be here, he had to say goodbye... Wrapped in a blanket he watched as Vinny set smooth stones over the freshly turned soil...Alone his father lay, in the dark, cold and still... Eyes shut... Frail hands clasped to his breast...Soon there would be only ashes and dust... A white collection of bones... Smooth... Cool... The familiar face, the warmth, the love... Nothing left but the bones... Leo sighed... Exhaustion... Pain... He sank to the ground beside his brother... Vinny reached out and placed his arm around Leo's shoulders... Together they knelt there, feeling the rain fall, hearing the whispers of the trees, feeling the chill air rising up under the shadows of the forest... They bore witness to the end of their childhood... To the death of innocence and the reality of the world they were living in...

Vinny looked at Leo, and before he even knew what he was doing he cleared his throat and began to speak... The words were not his own, they came from another... They came from his brother...

Leo closed his eyes and Vinny heard what was in his heart...

" I love you dad... I love you so much... I am sorry for the years we missed, for all the pain, for the mess I caused... There was no time... We had no time...I wish things could have been different... Maybe now, you can finally rest, and find peace... Someday we will meet again, for now, just know that we love you, that we have always loved you, and that no time could ever have been long enough... I will find a way to heal our family... I will try to make up for the time I lost... I will try to be the son you deserve, I will try to make you proud... I promise you father, I will make it right... I will keep them safe, I will keep them together... Goodbye master, Sensei, teacher, friend,

Goodbye Father..."


	49. Chapter 49

Raph opened his eyes.

His vision was hazy at first, but slowly it cleared. After a few moments he could make out the lab, along with Donny's body lying sprawled across his desk, sound asleep. He closed his eyes again and smiled. So, they had made it out alive. That was unexpected, but leave it to Don and Vinny to come rescue their sorry hides. Man, that had been a close one... What had happened exactly? It was all a bit of a blur, they had gotten hurt or something hadn't they? Raph tried to concentrate but he could feel himself falling back into the comforting darkness... He was home, that was all that mattered... They were home... He and Leo-

LEO!

Raph sat straight up in bed, knocking over the rows of vials and needles Don had placed beside the cot, the heart monitor was screaming, all the readings had flat lined when he tore the sensors from his arms and chest, the sound of it hurt his head but he didn't care, last he saw of Leo he had been lying in a pool of his own blood-

"Shhhhh! Its ok Raph its me, its Don- Just calm down you're safe now-"

Donny was there suddenly- Raph reached for him with trembling arms trying to pull himself up- He had to find his brother-

"Raph stop it! Look at me- Look at me!"

Donny took Raphs face in his hands and forced him to stare into his eyes, the red banded turtle tried to struggle but found he was too weak to do so...

when he spoke his voice was a growl...

" Where...Is...Leo?"

" He's fine. He's at the farm house with Vinny and April."

Raph could see the truth in his brothers eyes and fell back with a laugh. Shutting his eyes he smiled and shook his head.

" Son of a bitch. Can't believe we got out o that one man... Guess we were pretty stupid taken him out on our lonesome huh? How did Leo take the lecture from Sensei? Can't believe I missed it. "

At the mention of Splinter Donny's face changed. It grew hard and cold. Raph caught onto it immediately.

"Don, what is it? What's wrong?"

Donny didn't have a chance to answer, at that moment the door to the lab opened and Mikey appeared in the doorway.

Raph took one look at his brother and knew.

" Oh Mikey..."


	50. Chapter 50

Leo never really regained his strength, he hardly ever ate anything no matter how much Vinny and April tried to pressure him into it, he walked through the house silently like a ghost, most of the time he spent out in the forest, or sitting beside Splinters grave, waiting until it was dark before heading back… Nothing anyone said to him could change how he felt. No one realized that he thought Raph and Mikey were dead too, they assumed it was Splinters passing that was affecting him like this. Vinny was too preoccupied with his own grief to realize what was going through his elder brothers mind. The guilt, the pain, the self loathing, the sadness.

Animals and people will sometimes just waste away and die if they lose a loved one, and Leo, in his mind, had lost three… Four if you counted Donny, who hated him now… He was right. It was all Leo's fault. He had sworn to protect his family and in the end he had managed to destroy them all…

The young turtle sat on the fallen tree that overlooked the farmhouse, down below him he could see his father's grave. The sun was setting in the west. Its light was warm on his skin. Behind him the air gathering in the shadows was cold. Leo shivered. He had lost so much weight he was nearly always chilled.

Why was their life so hard and so desperate? Why couldn't they have had a normal life? One where they could just sit and enjoy being alive and being together instead of one where you were constantly looking over your shoulder, not knowing if someone you loved would be gone the next day? They had been at war ever since they could remember. It wasn't supposed to be like that. Life wasn't supposed to be like that.

Leo put his head in his hands and shut his eyes. How could someone feel this much pain and not die? How could one soul stand up under this weight?

What have I done?

His mouth moved but no sound came out….

What have I done?

* * *

" Vinny, I'm worried about Leo,"

April looked over at the striped yellow and black turtle sitting in the floor meditating. He opened his eyes and looked at her, the calm she usually saw there was gone, replaced by a deep sadness. His voice was quiet.

"So am I."

April watched as he got to his feet and went to stand by the window. His wide shoulders blocked out the light. Once again she was struck by how large he was compared to his brothers.

" Vinny, he needs his family now, he needs Mikey and Don, he needs to be there when Raph wakes up, why do you insist on keeping him here? Why not go back?"

Vinny turned to look at her, and for a moment she saw the old anger, the rage that he had possessed all those years ago, that she had thought was gone. Sudden fear clutched her heart and she found she had taken a few steps back away from him. Then, as quickly as it had appeared it was gone, as though it had never been. Once again it was just Vinny standing there, sad and broken. A young man trying to carry a weight that no one should have to bear.

" We cannot go back yet April, don't ask me why, but we just can't."

" Alright."

April wanted to go and place her hand on his shoulder, offer him some small comfort, but she just couldn't… Maybe she wasn't brave enough… Maybe the resentful feeling in her chest wouldn't let her…. Whatever the reason, April just turned and went back up the stairs, leaving Vincent to stand looking out at the coming darkness, as she closed the door to her room she tried not to think about what her life would have been like had she never met them….


	51. Chapter 51

Splinter had died… His father was gone, and he hadn't had a chance to say goodbye. Raph lay there morosely, miserable and broken, in constant pain from his twisted and warped plastron… The place where he had been stabbed had healed wrong. There was a knotted mess of shell and muscle that pulled at him, making it extremely painful to lay down. He couldn't really move around, and was left to brood on his dark thoughts and his grief. Splinter was gone… And his little brother was gone too… Mikey was like a child, a sweet, innocent, silly child, who didn't know who he was, or what was going on around him. Gone was the joker, the kind soul with the giant heart that held them together through thick and thin… Mikey was gone… Splinter was dead.… And something was very wrong with what remained of their strange and broken family.

Raph had picked up on it from the very start, the odd looks, the nervous swallowing, Don had said he told Vinny and Leo about him; how he had woken up, how he was aware of what was going on and was on the mend, yet still his brothers stayed at the farmhouse. What was going on? Donny kept ignoring him when he asked questions, would just leave if he tried to confront him. Yes, something was very wrong. Leo must have been hurt bad if Don didn't want him in the sewers, sometimes if one of them got really sick or took a bad hit they would be moved to the farmhouse where it was warm and dry so they could heal. Maybe that was it, or maybe there was a fight…. A small voice whispered in the back of his mind that Leo might be dead too, and Don had just decided not to tell him… Raph shook his head to banish the thought.

Whatever the reason, he needed to talk to them, it wasn't like Leo or Vinny to stay away when they were needed back home.

There was only one problem, Raph was hardly ever alone, and he was too weak to get out of shell cell was back up in his room,the only one who could get it was…

Mikey.

Raph closed his eyes and sighed, this wasn't going to be easy.

* * *

Leo was alone in the house, it was quiet, April had gone to get supplies, while Vinny was out beside Splinters grave. It seemed like one of them was always there, maybe it was because they didn't want their father to be alone. The pain would never leave him, it was as though Leo had lost a limb, you could not forget what it had been like to have it there, and you would never get used to it being gone. He wished he could have done something to save his father, he had never felt so helpless in his life… All he could do was watch as Splinter died right in front of him… Leo closed his eyes and placed his forehead to the chill glass of the window.

Suddenly there was a loud whirring sound, Leo felt a sudden leap of fear in his chest, from instinct he spun around to face whatever threat had invaded April's home, but then realized that it was not an intruder at all, but rather Vinny's shell cell.


	52. Chapter 52

Once again an epic team up, co written, I just realized I never have posted a disclaimer on here, well, not gunna start, in fact I own the tmnt muahahahaha!

Wanna sue me? Get in line.

The shell cell stopped working after the first ring, and no matter what he tried he couldn't get it to work again, eventually he just threw it across the room in frustration and watched it smash into the wall with a satisfying crunch. Mikey sat beside his bed rocking back and forth happily while his older brother lay there and fumed.

Raph regretted the sudden motion as his arm and plastron started aching again, he still felt like smashing things but there was nothing within reach and his body was making it quite clear that it wouldn't take any more abuse today. He had to get out of this stupid bed and find out what was going on with Leo and Vinny, something was wrong and right now he couldn't find out what it was or do anything about it.

As Raph glared angrily at the ceiling above his head, he started to fear the worst…. Maybe Leo didn't survive that night. Maybe his brother had succumbed to his wounds and Vinny was sent to the farm to lay his brother and Father to rest while he was still recovering.

But why would Vinny stay away from his family even if this was true? Something was gnawing on Raph's heart and he couldn't quite place what it was. It circled around Vinny and why he was still at the farm when his brothers needed him here with the living, not tending to the fallen that were beyond care.

Raph's heart clenched and a deep ache of pain ripped through his body as he silently grieved for the lost of Leo. It was only by his stubbornness that Raph was able to hold back an anguished sob, not wanting to scare Mikey.

After several minutes Raph slowly came back to himself and he realized Mikey was no longer rocking back and forth with a vacant expression on his face, instead his eyes were wide and fixed on Raph, his face a mixture of pain, turmoil and confusion… Deep fear...

Raph reached out to Mikey but his brother recoiled from him as tears fell from his eyes. Raph was at a loss at what had happened to make Mikey scared of him, then he realized that Mikey's natural empathic ability must have picked up on his grief. Maybe Mikey was more sensitive to emotions after his injuries… Somewhere deep within his confused jumbled mind Mikey understood that something was terribly wrong, something was missing, now he looked around fearfully, as if he was trying to see what it was, and if he could find it.

Raph watched him sadly… What he sought could not be found in this dark place… This tomb… What he sought, the comfort and steady warmth that had been their fathers presence was fading, as though it had never been…


	53. Chapter 53

Thursday, November 23rd, 2017

9:45 pm

Its been five weeks since I came out of the coma, five weeks since Splinter died in my arms, five weeks since we left the lair… Even though my body has healed for the most part, I know I haven't… I can't talk to anyone, Vinny is hardly ever around, he is always out beside father's grave, he talks to him a lot, even more than I do. I am pretty much alone here. I have tried to pull myself together, but so far I have failed. I can't even find it in me to practise my training, I just don't have any interest in it anymore. I don't care what happens to me, I have destroyed everything I ever loved. I deserve this. This bitterness and pain. I deserve all of it.

April resents us being here, she tries not to let us know but I see it. We can't stay here forever, This isn't her problem or responsibility. It's mine. I have to fix this somehow, it's just that I am at a loss at what to do.

Mikey and Raph are dead. They are dead so why can't I accept it? I still feel their presence around me, I feel their pain and despair, I know they are hurting somewhere and I know I am the cause of their pain. I can't help them. I can't save them. Oh God, I don't know what to do.

I can say I am sorry over and over again and it means nothing because my brothers are dead.

And the ones that are alive hate me. Or, at least Donny does, Vinny is hard to read since I hardly ever see him, but there is something there, I know he blames me too, just like I blame myself. How can you keep loving someone who has destroyed your family?

And then there is Donny, he is right to hate me, I would hate me if I were in his shoes. I took everything away from him, everything he loved. I should have trusted in my family, I shouldn't have run out and gotten Raph killed… No one should die like that… He died in pain, alone, I was already gone as far as he was concerned…. I think I saw him, back when I was lost in the dark, in that horrible place… I am not sure now though, everything is a blurr…

I would gladly go away and never come back if it meant Vinny and Donny would talk to each other again. I don't know how to fix this. I have always had a plan, always known what needed to be done but right now I am lost. I don't know what Splinter would have wanted, I don't know how to fix the mess I have caused. How to salvage what is left of my family. I need time to think. I need time to gather my thoughts and figure out what to do. I need to get away from this farm house and all of its memories. I need to heal my broken family. I need to fix this.

Leo sighed as he looked down at the notebook, he had been writing for almost three weeks now, ever since he had first found it inside a drawer, it helped a little, being able to put on paper the things he couldn't say, get them straight, organize his thoughts and get them outside of the frantic whirling inside his own mind. Sometimes he wondered at his sanity, sometimes he thought he was back there, in the darkness trying to find a way out, other times he thought it was years ago, back before this had happened, back when things were calm and they were still a family, back when they were children. Before they knew about Oroku, or the foot or even Bushido. Back when they could just live and be happy…

Those times were so real, he could almost smell Splinters tea, hear his laugh, hear the rise and fall of his voice as he told them all of ancient warriors and clans long dead in ancient Japan.

Leo smiled at the thought. He looked out the window… At his fathers grave…

Sometimes those brave men, when faced with a problem they could not solve on their own, would go out by themselves for a time, seeking answers and wisdom, alone in the wilderness… Maybe that was the answer, maybe that was what he should do... Leo was still for a moment, then he turned the notebook to a fresh page and wrote something…

When he was finished he tore it from the book and going downstairs he laid the paper on the kitchen table for the others to find before gathering up some blankets, a little food and a bottle of water… A moment later he was gone, and all that was left was the note, explaining what had happened, where he had gone, and why….


	54. Chapter 54

Ok guys, so, sorry for the late updates and everything, been really busy with school and making animated movies. I am an artist and an animator as most of you probably know, if I were to make my stories Red Sun Rising, Subliminal and Genisis 5 into animated movies and opened up crowdfunding sites to help with paying the voice actors and with the production of each movie, would anyone actually donate to them? I don't want to waste my time here, if no one would want to help me out or watch them then I am not going to make them, but they would be epic, they would follow these stories on here with all original artwork, it would be a non profit fanfilm when released. So what do you think? Would you dontate anything to help me make these and would you watch them? Leave a comment if you would like to see these fanfics made into fullout traditional animated movies.


	55. Chapter 55

Leo walked through the forest, his feet leaving very little indentation on the dry, leaf covered ground. Around him the trees stood black and stark against the grey sky. It was almost dark. Leo wasn't sure where he was going. He didn't have any destination in mind. He just wanted to walk. He shivered and drew the folds of the coat together as much as possible. It was a bit uncomfortable, human clothing was not made for giant mutant turtles.

His mind was empty and numb. For the first time in weeks he felt calm. He looked down at his feet. The blanket of dry, fall leaves covered the earth…. Leo sighed… even his breath had no sound… It didn't give voice to the sadness he felt… He looked at the leaves... Red…. Orange… He loved those colors…

Dead moss and briars were twisted around the trunks of the trees… Overhead crows streaked across the sky… He stopped and raised his head towards the harsh sound of their voices….

He was mildly alarmed at how dark it had gotten… Perhaps he should start looking for someplace to spend the night…

Turning he looked back the way he had come…

Something twisted and black was on the path behind him….

Leonardo did not turn and run… He did not try to get away…. He held his ground…

 _I know you…_

The creature cocked its head and regarded the young warrior curiously… How strong was he now? Was he still weak?

 _Get away from me…._

The creature grinned…

 _ **I will not…**_

Leo reached down and picked up a dead branch, he held it out in front of him, never taking his eyes from the demon crouching in the dark…

 _ **You let them die…. You killed your family….. Let me end you…. You are a curse to everyone around you… Just let go…. Let go…. Let go….go…..go…..**_

It began crawling towards him…

Leo bared his teeth and walked forward, challenging the thing, the demon hissed and ducked away into the trees…

Leo was breathing heavily and sweating despite the cold… It was pitiful how weak he was now, just holding the branch was an effort, the creature was still here, he could feel it… If it attacked him somewhere out here where he was unprotected and alone he knew he could not fight it off… Not in the dark where he couldn't see anything… He needed to find shelter, fast, and find someway to make a fire before it came at him again… Leonardo turned and half ran, half walked deeper into the woods…. now and again he could hear the creature following close behind him, every time it got too close Leo would turn around and out of the corner of his eye catch a glimpse of it darting away into the gathering darkness... He had no time,,, he was alone,,,

Leo gasped for breath as he ran, what he needed right now were his brothers...

 _ **You let them die... They cannot help you... You are lost... lost in the dark... you killed them... kill... Kill...KILL!**_

Claws snatched at him, Leonardo turned and swung the branch-

The branch hit the creature across the back, it let out a snarling breath as it fell and rolled in the dust, the splintered wood made the turtles hand bleed, he stepped back and his foot met free air-

Leonardo fell soundlessly down the well, his body crumpled and shattered against the old stone walls as he fell down, down, down into the pit... He landed in a broken heap in the shallow water, and knew no more...


	56. Chapter 56

"The life I have lead for all these years has sanded away the meat, the bone and the marrow until only cold hard steel remains… How long until that too is gone? I don't even know who or what I am anymore…."

Hi Fanfic friends, I am going to update this story very soon, have amazing plot twists and unexpected happenings coming up! Its only going to get worse for the guys... Aside from that, Subscribe to our youtube channel so you don't miss the release of the first episode of our animated movie Dagon:Troll world chronicles! It Will be released on Halloween night! copy and paste this link to find our youtube channel so that you can see the commercial and so you wont miss the first episode!

channel/UCqIPFJdYd5uwsHR4EqDD2rg…

Dagon: Troll world chronicles is a dark fantasy film series about gangster trolls, set to the style of 1920's black and white gangster movies. Fully animated with an amazing voice cast, great story plot and awesome artwork it is unlike anything to be found out there on the web or on the big screen today.  
The main character is Dagon, a burned out hitman who feels like life has dealt him a raw deal. Even though he is the best in the trade and feared by both his enemies and his allies he wants out, he wants to retire off-world and set himself up somewhere no one can find him. When he is offered his dream score by the kingpin Kundilla he takes it, knowing full well that it will be his most dangerous job ever. He is commissioned to steal away a "Flesh Item" from an Earth ship arriving on a diplomatic mission, deliver it to Kundilla and get paid. There is just one problem, Dagon is not as cold blooded as he thinks he is and the "flesh Item" turns out to be a human baby girl. Dagon kidnaps the child and sets out to deliver it with his two friends Jaqualin and Maxine. When Dagon learns that the buyer intends to kill and eat the baby rather than just keep her as an exotic pet as he had originally assumed, the deadly assassin must make a crucial decision… Deliver the child to her death and get paid, or go rogue and return her to her family….

The characters are very real, with raw emotions and strong personalities, something usually missing from blockbuster movies which rely heavily on crazy action and wild fight scenes rather than the characters themselves. Dagon is tough and mean, Humphrey Bogart meets James Cagney, with all the style and presence of Michael Corleone. Everyone he has ever loved has either been killed or has betrayed him, he trusts one person on the troll planet of Goth, and that person is himself. Even though he is a merciless assassin and feels no guilt at torturing or killing his enemies, under it all, he is actually a really great guy. Dagon's only friend is Jaqualin, a nervous, twitchy water troll who has a phobia of germs and is prone to epileptic fits. Jaqualin is clever and likes to invent things and even if he is a self proclaimed coward he's loyal and means well. Maxine is Jaqualin's girlfriend, she is loud, brash and a ball buster broad in every sense of the word. She finds herself reluctantly drawn to the human baby, even though she has never been the mothering type ( she is more likely to punch you out than speak to you). The villains include a wild variety of gangster hitmen and assassins, strange and wicked creatures that happen upon Dagon and his friends, and the demon from Hellworld, Necrofer, sent out to find and kill them. But the master mind behind all this, the one who ordered the child to be stolen in the first place, was a sick, depraved crime lord named Houngan. Cruel and sadistic, Houngan enjoys torturing small helpless things, his plans for the human girl are especially horrible, as he despises the humans, and wishes to start a war between the planets of Earth and Goth. Trade wars, mutual mistrust from both sides, and the recent embargo placed on the drug "Sugar" by the humans has made both worlds hostile, and this final act of treachery could very well push Earth over the edge. Especially since the baby was the daughter of the human Ambassador.

I wrote, directed and produced this film and I do almost all the character art, typically I sketch them out in pencil and then ink them in, sometimes black water color is used for shading. The background art for the film was done by several different artists, but the lead background artist is Daniel Compton, a good friend of mine that I met back on , his grand scale drawings and intricate attention to detail gives the series a very dark and cool feel. The music for the film was written by my friend and fellow creator JS Earls a great comic book writer, who is making the comic Antropolis which I am illustrating. Almost all the animation was done by myself, my brother Greenminer and my uncle Charles Indigo Longfellow.

It would be awesome for me to be able to share this with you guys, come check it out!


	57. Chapter 57

Vinny opened his eyes, he knew something was wrong,

-panic-ghost touch of pain-crowded-narrow-pain-filled his head- black clouds-death-sudden horrible-broken-blood-blood-blood-

Death...

The yellow banded turtle ran the rest of the way back to the farm house, the windows were dark, silent, empty, the house was empty,

"Leo..."

The name was a whisper, full of dread and sadness, he didn't want to go in that house, something bad was in that house, he could feel it, the ghost pain of his brother, the unspoken regret and guilt, horrible guilt, Vinny felt drawn into the house despite his reluctance to enter it...

Something important was in there, something of his brother's, something of Leo's explaining, why, why? WHY?

Vinny slowly walked into the house, his feet silently stepping, darkness, darkness, death,,, death,,, pain and then death,,, that's all it could have been,,,, that's what he must have felt,,, what Leo,,,, what,,,, what,,,,

Vinny let out a shrieking scream-

What emotion was this? There were too many to process... The old confusion and madness threatened to overcome him...

Vinny ran into the house, he saw the note, his eyes drawn to it, his hand reached for it, the words... The words written... Leo...

"I am sorry..."


	58. Chapter 58

_Darkness... Pain... He was so cold..._

Raph groaned and tossed fretfully in the bed... He muttered and moaned in his troubled sleep...

 _Sadness... Overwhelming sadness and loss... His heart ached with it... In the fog of swirling confused thoughts he knew one certainty... I deserve this... I killed them... This is my punishment... I welcome it... I want the pain... I want to hurt... I deserve this..._

Raph's face contorted with emotion and fear... He knew that voice... He knew that voice...

 _Slowly a form took shape in the darkness... Sitting in a pool of red water... In the bottom of a cold narrow place made of stone... The figure was a grayish white... Slumped over on its side... The white of bone showed through the torn skin... This creature was dying..._

Raph sat up in his bed and his eyes flew open-

"LEO NO!"


	59. Chapter 59

Donny opened his eyes...

It was dark... There was no light... Cold... Cold beyond anything he could have ever imagined... Pain... he opened his mouth to scream but he couldn't... There was no breath in his lungs... Feelings... More intense than any he had ever experienced... Loss and grief... A chasm of sorrow... A void of sadness... And of guilt... Donny tried to fight the stillness in his limbs but he couldn't... He couldn't move... He was trapped within himself... Within his body... No... Wait... It wasn't his body... It was someone else's... And that someone was dying...

Donny gasped at this realization... Suddenly he could move... He was away from the pain and the cold... He was a breath of still air... A ghost... A thought...

He looked down at the ground and found that he could see... The pale chill light of dawn was streaming down from above him... He saw something lying against the stone... As it slowly grew lighter he could make out a patch of blue against the grey skin...

Donny crumpled at the sight of his older brother... At what had once been his brother... What had been...

"Oh God... Oh God what have I done?"

Donny felt his heart break... Felt the bitter walls of hatred and twisted sadness and blame crack and fall away... Leaving a raw bleeding place...

Donny reached a shaking hand out to touch his brother... His hand met nothing... There was nothing left of what had been Leo... This figure was shattered and hopeless... There was no strength left in him to fight... He was nothing but pain and sadness now... Gone was the fighter... The protector... The leader... Gone was his older brother...

Leo opened his eyes and looked through Donny... At the sunlight that couldn't reach this dark place... His eyes were that of a dying animal... Accepting... Confused... But unafraid... He wanted to die... That much Donny could see...

His brothers blood pooled around his feet... His brothers life was running out from the wounds...

Donny fell to his knees... His head in his hands...

"I did this to you... I am so- so sorry... I did this... I killed you... Its my fault... Oh God its my fault!"

Everything was fading... Fading away...

Donny opened his eyes, gasping for breath, he was back in the lair, he was back...

Dashing the tears from his eyes he got to his feet and ran from the room...


	60. Chapter 60

"Raphael! Raphael!"

The red banded turtle started awake, fists raised, ready to fight, the shattering of glass told him he was still in the lab.

"Don? What the hell man-"

Donny stood in the doorway, for a split second he just stood there and then the lights came on and he rushed inside. His eyes were wild, sweat dripped off of his face and hands, he was talking and muttering gibberish.

Raph watched him as he searched desperately for his medical supplies. He could barely understand what it was he was saying.

"Leo, Oh God Leo- I did it Raph- How could I have done that to him? What is wrong with me? His own brother- Oh God- Oh God-"

Raph's brows knit together, he ripped the tubes from his arms and stood up, trying not to fall over in the process as his past hurts caught up with him. Reaching out he took hold of Donnie's arms and forced him to stop moving.

"What about Leo? What about him Don?"

Donny was crying. His sobs were deep and his voice tore through them anyway.

" I killed him Raph! Its all my fault- I made him- I made him like he is- I could have done more but I didn't and now it's too late!"

Raph's eyes grew wide until the whites in them took over. He shook his brother and growled through his teeth.

"What do you mean you killed him? Didn't he die in the battle? Wasn't he dead when you found us? ANSWER ME DAMN IT! WHERE IS MY BROTHER?! WHERE IS LEONARDO?"

Donnie cried out as Raphs grip tightened but he didn't try to pull away, he deserved what was happening, he welcomed the pain.

It was only the quiet mumbling childlike voice of their little brother that made them stop fighting.

" ... I saw blue brother…"

Donny and Raph looked at their sibling as though they had never seen him before. Tears ran down his face and into his mouth as he spoke again.

"Blue brother hurt… Hurt bad… I see where Blue brother hurts… I find Blue brother… Quick… Quick… Need help from Red and Quiet brother... Save Blue… Save… Blue... "

Donny fell to the ground beside the hospital cot when Raph let go of him. He stayed there as his older brother knelt down beside what had once been Michelangelo.

Raph looked into the orange banded turtles eyes and held them. Inside he thought he could see something of what was… Maybe it was just a feeling… Maybe he was just crazy… But for a moment, the two brothers knew each other…

Raph spoke slowly and clearly.

"Can you find Leonardo? Can you find the Blue Turtle?"

Knowing flickered in the depths. Struggled. Surfaced.

Michelangelo met his gaze suddenly, focused and steady. In a voice stronger than any Raph had heard him use, the orange masked turtle spoke.

"Yes, Raph… I can find him…"


	61. Chapter 61

**BrightLotusMoon this next chapter is for you...**

" Get the hell out of here Don... You ain't comin."

"Raph, I am the only one who can save him,"

"If you don't want your original facial structure rearranged by my fist pal, you had better get your ass out of my sight."

"No Raph, you don't know medic stuff, Leo is going to need it when we find him."

"You are staying here."

"I am coming."

"Like hell you are!"

"You aren't the leader Raph! You can't tell me what to do!"

Raph turning- a hard fist coming at his face- black dots swirling- blood in his mouth- eye swollen shut-

Donny shook his head and blearily looked up at his older brother from where he lay on the ground. Raph looked like he wanted to do a hell of a lot more than punch him right now. When the red banded turtle spoke it was in a deep, borderline savage growl.

"Damn straight I am not the leader. Leonardo, my brother, the one you almost killed, he is the leader. You are not coming within three feet of him ever again do you hear me? When he gets back here, you are out, gone, out there, out of our home. You are no longer my brother, you are a threat. You stay away from him."

Donny was crying now, the salt stung his cuts but he didn't care. Leaping to his feet he pushed Raph away from him.

"He is my brother too! You guys are my family! I am not leaving! Ever! I am coming with you to help save Leo!"

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!"

both brothers were about to attack each other when suddenly Mikey was standing between them, his hands out holding them back.

"Don't"

Raph's eyes softened and he stepped back.

"Ok bro. Ok."

Mikey looked at Donny. He struggled to say something but it was gone before he could grasp ahold of it so he just repeated the same word again.

"Don't."

Donny nodded and wiped at his face. He moved around Mikey and got into the back of their vehicle. Raph glared at his purple banded brother but he couldn't start anything with Mikey staying between the two of them. With a growl he started the engine and pulled out of the hidden garage and into the street.

* * *

Mikey came to sit in front with Raph, in the seat Leo usually took when he wasn't driving. Pulling his legs up he perched there hugging his knees and rocking back and forth. He was muttering to himself, something about being cold and wet, once in a while Raph caught the words "Blue" and "Find."

He gritted his teeth together until it hurt. Stomped on the gas with more force than was necessary. It was a wonder his foot didn't go through the floor.

His brother, his only older brother was still alive, he could be dying, he had seen him in his dream, in pain, alone, cold, Leo needed help and Raph wasn't there. What if they couldn't find him? What if?

He felt a hand on his shoulder and jerked around, ready to fight, only to see Mikey looking at him, the real Mikey, before he had caught a glympse of him but he had thought maybe he had imagined it. Raph gaped at him, shocked, half expecting to see Leo and Splinter come up from behind them next and find that this whole thing had been nothing but a dark dream.

Mikey swallowed, he held Raph's gaze, refusing to let himself sink back into the fog of his confused and lost mind, he held on and strengthened his grip on reality. His brothers needed him, his heroes needed him. When he spoke his voice was strong and sure.

"We will find him Raph, we will find him, and we will bring him home."


	62. Chapter 62

"My son..."

"Father?"

The warm crinkled paw stroked the side of his face. Leo closed his eyes and held the old rat close. He didn't care where they were or what was happening. For the moment nothing mattered except the small, thin frame in his arms.

"I am sorry... I should have stayed behind... I shouldn't have attacked Shredder, I should have-"

"Shhhhh... Be still my son, there is nothing for you to apologize for... I am not angry, far from it... I am proud of you... More proud than I ever thought possible..."

Leo pulled away from his father, he felt that he had to see his face, that kind, wise old face that was so familiar and comforting. He shook his head.

" You don't understand dad, I hurt my family, I swore to protect you, all of you, and I failed..."

Splinter smiled sadly.

"You saved them Leonardo, you have given everything to protect them, you did not fail, you altered the course of what would have come to pass had Shredder remained with the living, I have seen the future of what might have been, we all would have died in great pain, at the hands of our enemies, and you, you my precious, magnificent boy, you would have lived on without us, tortured and mocked for years after we were all gone... You saved us from that fate..."

Leonardo's eyes widened in horror at the words his father was saying... He dashed a hand across his eyes...

"But you died anyway father, I couldn't save you..."

Splinter sighed.

" My time was coming anyway, I would not have lived any longer if you had decided not to go confront Oroku. it was meant to be..."

Leo swallowed and tried to steady his voice. His hand shook as he put it on his father's shoulder.

"Even so, I wasn't strong enough to kill him alone, I condemned Raph to death, I should have gone on alone, Donny hates me, rightfully so, by keeping him away from Mikey I caused his death as well. The only ones left are Don, Vinny and me... Our family is broken, and I caused it..."

Splinter was crying, water made dark lines in the fur below his eyes. He looked at his son with pity and love, when he spoke his voice was calm despite what he was feeling.

"Your brothers are alive Leonardo, they are alive, and they love you, no matter what you do or don't do, say or don't say, they love you and you didn't fail them."


	63. Chapter 63

Leonardo's voice was broken.

"They're alive?"

Splinter nodded. The blue banded turtle brought his hand to his forehead and went down to the ground on his knees. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. He couldn't believe Donny would lie to him. His whole body shook. He couldn't breath, couldn't think, couldn't understand how this had happened.

"They're alive. My God, I didn't kill them, they are alive."

Splinter knelt down to his son's level and sighed.

"Your brother Donnatello was confused and angry because he didn't have any control over what happened. He blamed you because he secretly blames himself."

Leo brought himself back to what was going on around him, his eyes looked slightly mad when he looked at his father.

"But it was my fault, not his, he is right to blame me, this had nothing to do with him."

Sudden pain. Bone deep cold. Body stiff. Lungs full of red liquid.

Leo gasped and Splinter caught him as he lurched forward.

"What-what's happening?"

Splinter gripped his son's hand and tears ran from his eyes.

"You are not yet done my child, you must go back, for now at least, before you can rest. You are not dead. Your body is fighting."

Leo clung to his fathers hand, he tried to not put too much pressure in his grip but as the pain built he couldn't help it. He had never felt such pain. Never felt such wild emotions and sensations.

For a moment he was back in the cold stone place, in the red water, shivering. Splinter was still holding him, but they were no longer in the indistinct netherworld.

"Father-"

The words were only in his mind, he couldn't make a sound, Leo gritted his teeth and closed his eyes against what he was feeling. His body jerked and convulsed. Suddenly there was just air in his hand.

"Father- father please... don't leave me here alone..."

There was only silence, the wet sound of his struggling, the chattering of his teeth.

He was alone. Alone in the dark...


	64. Chapter 64

Vinny met them in the yard as the shell raiser pulled up to the farmhouse. His eyes were wide and rolling, he was gibbering to himself and even Raph found himself taking a step back away from the black and yellow turtle that stood at least a good head and a half taller than himself. He hadn't seen Vinny in this kind of a state since that night on the roof all those years ago, the night he had almost killed Splinter and himself. His hands were bloody and torn as though he had been digging with them and in the yard all sorts of furniture and glass from the shattered windows was lying around. Apparently, Vinny had torn the inside of the farmhouse apart in his frantic search for their missing brother.

Raph held up his hands.

"Wow, Vinny, Vinny calm down bro,"

The yellow banded turtle lurched forward and gripped Raph's shoulders, words tumbling out of his mouth like stones.

"I can't find him, I can't find Leo anywhere, he left, I shouldn't have gone, I should have kept an eye on him but I didn't think-"

Suddenly Vinny caught sight of Donny climbing down from the vehicle. His breath hitched and he threw Raph aside out of his way.

"YOU!"

Donny didn't have a chance to move or speak, in a black and yellow blur Vinny ran at him and slammed him against the side of the shell raiser. Donny gasped for air as Vinny's fingers wrapped around his throat.

Raph recovered himself and rushed at his struggling siblings to keep them from killing eachother.

Vinny was too strong and his fingers only tightened, Donny was kicking weakly at him but was losing strength fast. It wasn't until Raph punched Vinny in the face and finally got his attention.

"You are killing him stop it! Vinny let him go now!"

Vinny blinked and then seemed to come back to himself. Instantly he dropped Donny and stepped away, leaving the other turtle gasping and weak on the ground. Vinny shook his head and gritted his teeth, as though trying to get a grip on reality. He looked up at the rest of them and his eyes were controlled and dark.

" Whatever happens, when we find Leonardo you won't touch him without me being there, you won't hurt him or harm him in any way and if you do I will not hold back and I will kill you."

Donny raised his eyes to meet Vinny's, his voice was hoarse and deep but he answered anyway.

" I am only- here- to help him-"

Vinny met his gaze and Donny found himself looking away first. As he turned away Vinny growled.

"You had better be..."


	65. Chapter 65

"He's here- he's here-"

Vinny's breathless, desperate, voice came to them from across the clearing, from the far tree line. Together Raph and Donny ran towards their brothers. The orange banded turtle had led them here, without him, they would never have come this way. Raph's hands were shaking as he threw the rope down beside the well and fell down to his knees with the flashlight. Far below them in the cramped, narrow space, they could just make out a still form. Raph's growling pants became words.

"Leo! Leo bro- we're comin! Hang on- We're comin!"

"Someone will have to go down and pull him up,"

Donny reached for the rope. Raph's iron grip on his wrist stopped him.

"No, not you, anyone but you."

"Raph do you want our brother to die down there? I am the only one small enough to fit! It's me or Mikey and in case you haven't noticed he ain't exactly up to the task right now!"

Raph looked over at his youngest brother, as much as he hated to admit it, Mikey was in no shape to do something like this. He was barely keeping it together as it was. Asking him to lower himself down into that dark, wet hole was too much for him to handle. Looking back at Donny he reluctantly nodded. Donny gritted his teeth together and began tying the rope around his waist while Raph tied the other end to a sapling growing nearby.

Vinny could barely hold onto reality, pacing back and forth muttering to himself, he watched as Raph lowered Donny into the well.

The well was barely three and a half feet wide, the walls were slick with moss and mold except for the skid marks where Leo's shell had scraped against the stone.

Lower and lower, nearly twenty feet down, Donny went face first upside down with the end of the rope in one hand and a flashlight between his teeth. The blood ran to his head and hurt him by the time he reached Leo.

His brother was lying slumped awkwardly in the bottom of the well. His legs and arms were bent at odd angles. A tangled mess. A ruined body. Leo had his head leaned back against the rim of his shell, his eyes were open and staring, they look clouded and dull.

Donny lost his breath at the state Leo was in, tears dripped down onto his brother's face as he was lowered closer, the blue banded turtle didn't even flinch.

"No... No... Please no..."

Donny's voice was a pleading moan. More tears fell as he reached down and touched his brother's ice cold skin, his scales were hard with dried blood. There was a space on his head that was peeled back to reveal the pink-white bone of his skull. Donny was sure he was dead... No one on earth, human or turtle could survive this.

Behind him and above him he could hear Raph shouting, asking how Leo was, if he needed to go lower. Donny reached out and put his hand under Leo's chin, pressing down on the jugular vein, looking for a pulse.

He found one...


	66. Chapter 66

Alive... He was alive...

Donny dashed away the tears and went to work. He secured the rope around his brother's midsection, using the notch in the shell's rim to keep it in place. He clenched the flashlight between his teeth as he worked, his hands steady despite everything. Once Leo was tied on, Don struggled to reach behind him and tug on the line. A moment later, Raph began to pull.

Vinny had to help before the end. The load was simply too heavy for Raph in his weakened state, as it was, Raph's warped plastron was sore and it pained him to breathe, with this additional pressure it threatened to crack.

Mikey sat on the grass, rocking back and forth with his head in his hands. He was losing the battle with his mind. By the time Donny's feet were showing over the lip of the well, he had been lost to the scattered pieces of his mind.

"Pull! Pull him out! Hurry!"

Donny was breathless but Raph and Vinny acted upon his words, grasping onto the rope and the rim of Leo's shell, they pulled their leader out.

He was limp, head hanging back, arms flopping, eyes open, Raph and Vinny went to the ground with Leo's body cradled between them. Raph reached gentle shaking hands out to stroke his brother's face, a look of fear and horror on his face. Vinny looked mad. The whites of his eyes flashed wildly, neither of them had ever experienced anything like this before, they didn't know what to do, where to start, they were afraid by Leo's blank stare and his lack of resistance or movement.

"Donny- Donny do something!"

Raph's voice cracked as he called to the purple banded turtle, tears streamed down his face unnoticed and his breath sounded like quiet screams. Donny knelt beside them with his medical kit and began listing off the damage.

" Internal bleeding, cracked plastron, concussion, hyperthermia, hairline fractures and major breaks in all four limbs, suffering from blood loss, right lung might be collapsing-"

this wasn't good, wasn't good at all-

Donny moved so fast that his hands seemed to be working independently from the rest of his body. While he spoke he began carefully applying bandages and splints to broken bones and cuts. Three times he injected something into the blue banded turtle's neck, all the while he rattled off instructions to his brothers on what they could do to help.

"We have to get him to my lab, I can't work out here without my equipment, I need my equipment, we have to get him home..."


	67. Chapter 67

**My mom just came home from her stay in the hospital after surgery, she had a medical emergency and my brother and I were left to wonder if she would survive or not, up until then our family had been fine and happy, but then we were faced with the possibility that she wouldn't make it and that we would have to be there for one another if she didn't make it out. (She actually might have died at least once during the surgery because she had an out of body experience but none of the doctors would admit it) My brother was a mess, I had to play the strong older brother for him but I was in a similar if not even more distraught state, (I admit it, I cried in the hall when no one was looking... Don't tell anyone.) I was so paranoid that the doctors would hurt her in some way that I filmed everything I could of what they were doing with my phone and caused a major uproar in the waiting lobby, (People do strange things under duress) but she made it out in the end and everything went alright. This incident happened four days ago. I would just like to mention that as a writer, both of serious novels and fanfiction works, this experience has affected me, and as such, it is one of the contributing factors to this next chapter. One last thing guys, life is beautiful, treasure it and enjoy it while you can, whenever you can. I am more aware now, death and dying, pain and cruelty these things are real and they are out there, I tend to think about them almost all the time and rarely take a moment to think about all the wonderful things. Everything I do is to protect the people I love, that is why I am going to law school and college so that I can take care of my girlfriend and my family. That is why I work so hard to get famous with my movies and keep a 4.0 grade point average. I tend to think about how and what I would do to protect my loved ones in different situations, but sometimes all you can do is be there and offer your strength, love, and support, sometimes you can't stop the pain, but you can ease it. luckily I don't have to worry this time, everything is alright now, but it made me even more aware of the fragility of life, treasure those people that are precious to you,,, make sure they know you love them. Anyway, back to the guys and their drama...**

The trip back to the lair was agonizing for everyone. Raph held Leo's hand the whole time while Donny frantically worked and Vinny drove. They lost him twice on the way. Once in the sewers, they carried him into the lab. Donny instructed them to lay him on the metal table, Raph and Vinny tried to stay out of his way but they were reluctant to leave. Mikey had no such compunction and flatly refused to let Donny anywhere near Leo with the needles or the surgical knives that he had in his hands.

Finally, reaching a point of hysteria, Don threw his arms in the air and fairly screamed for them all to get out so he could work.

Raph opened his mouth to argue but Vinny laid his hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye. He would stay behind and guard Leo, Raph and Mikey would go into the other room and wait. Raph nodded and after squeezing Leo's hand one last time he herded Mikey out into the main living room. Donny ignored the suspicious and hostile glare coming from Vinny as he hooked his nearly dead brother to life support. His hands were steady and sure, even if he personally wasn't.

Mikey was quiet. He sat beside Raph on the old ragged couch staring blankly at the TV screen. Raph had put on one of the stupid little kid cartoons that Mikey liked. Zootopia. He had hoped that talking rabbits and foxes would calm his brother down a little, maybe even be a distraction for both of them. It wasn't working though. Raph couldn't sit still. Nervously he turned around to watch the closed door of the lab. It hadn't even been ten minutes and he felt like he was losing it.

Suddenly he felt something. Looking down he realized Mikey had taken his hand in his own. He was still staring ahead. Silent. Still. Raph looked at him in shock, Mikey just sat there, but there were tears running down his face.

Raph swallowed and blinked away the wetness in his own eyes. He pulled his hand away from his younger brother. Mikey's hand stayed open for a moment before slowly closing. With a sound that he wouldn't admit was a sob, Raph reached over and wrapped his arms around his little brother's shoulders and held him close. He wanted to be strong for Mikey but he didn't know if he could manage it. As he felt Mikey press his forehead against his chest Raph realized with a bit of shock that this was the first time he had ever really hugged Mikey, or any of his brothers for that matter. He had never been much of a touchy-feely kind of guy and had avoided situations like this whenever he could. Maybe once in a while, a hug was needed, maybe once in a while, he could stop playing the tough guy. More tears came and he swallowed them silently. In his arms, Mikey trembled. Raph closed his eyes and did something he usually only did when he was alone and no one was looking. Usually when he prayed it was in his head, but when it was important, he spoke out loud. Clearing his throat, Raph began to speak.

"Protect him lord, please, protect him and give him strength. Let him know we love him. Oh God, make him be alright, help him get through this..."


	68. Chapter 68

Donny wouldn't leave the lab. He stayed inside, caring for Leo. He had a cot brought in and that's where he slept. His meals were brought to him by Raph and occasionally Vinny. They never spoke or looked at Don when they came in. When they sat beside Leo, they were silent. They couldn't bring themselves to talk to him.

Leo never gave any sign of life besides the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest. Raph couldn't bring himself to speak to someone who would not answer. It made him feel like his brother was dead rather than just sleeping. Vinny wouldn't speak when he was around Leo because of the guilt he felt for allowing this to happen. If he had just watched his brother more closely, this would never have happened. Mikey couldn't find or catch the words that spun around and around in his head. He was afraid to try, so he didn't, he just sat there, holding Leo's warm but still hand. For the next four months. No one in the lair spoke. It was like their lives just stopped.

Leo never woke. His wounds gradually healed, his muscles wasted away, he became very, very thin. Every day they would clean and rotate him. He was never alone, sometimes all of them gathered around to keep him company. But they didn't speak. No one suggested they unhook him from life support. No one suggested anything. On the surface, crime and death happened and they didn't care. The humans didn't deserve their help. Even April and Casey weren't allowed in the lair. They were guilty as well, simply for the crime of being human.


	69. Chapter 69

Leo was asleep, and then he wasn't.

He opened his eyes. Around him it was dark, a light came from the corner but he couldn't make his head turn to look, he felt heavy, very, very heavy. His bones ached and his skin felt tight, his eyes burned, his throat pained him, but he was awake and alert, something he hadn't really expected to feel when he had lost himself. His memories came slowly, along with his eyesight. The last thing he remembered was his father, saying something, and a sadness and pain mixed with hope. The details were lost in the mists gathering on the edges of his consciousness. Earlier memories came more clearly, the deaths of his brothers Mikey and Raph, the death of Splinter and Donny's hatred. Tears welled in his eyes and he shut them because it burned. When he did this he didn't notice the movement beside his arm.

Donny had fallen asleep, he shouldn't have done that, it was his unspoken turn to keep watch. Jerking awake, he blinked and wiped at his face trying to banish the sleepiness. He looked over at his brother and gasped. He was awake.

"LEO!"

The blue banded turtle tried to get away from the sudden shout, startled, disoriented, he jerked back kicking and thrashing and fell down off the gurney. Donny tried to reach for him but missed, just as Raph and Vinny ran into the room. Donny didn't have a chance to say anything before he was thrown aside, shoved back away from Leo by Vinny who positioned himself between them.

"What did you do?! I thought we could trust you not to hurt him!"

Donny spluttered trying to answer but Raph's voice interrupted him.

"Leo! Oh God Leo you're awake!"

Leo stared at Raph like he had never seen him before. He didn't even pay attention to the pain in his arm where the old fracture had cracked open again. He didn't pay attention to Vinny or Donny, he only had eyes for Raph.

More tears fell from wide eyes. Raph had never seen his brother cry before, reaching out he took Leo's face in his hands and looked directly into his eyes.

"It's ok bro, it's ok, you are safe now, you're safe, me, Don, Vinny, Mike, we're all safe, we did it bro, me and you, we took him out, it's alright now, everything is alright,"

Leo shook his head and tried to say something but he had no voice, he lifted one shaking hand up to touch Raph's shoulder, Raph leaned back and took his brother's hand in both of his own and smiled.

Leo's eyes held pain, disbelief and fear, but also a desperate hope, he didn't believe this was real, it couldn't be, it had to be a cruel dream, he would wake up any minute back in that cold, wet, dark place. Even when Raph held him to his chest and told him it was alright he couldn't believe it. He was placed back on the bed, someone worked to fix his re-broken arm but he didn't take his eyes away from Raph. Maybe this was his heaven.


	70. Chapter 70

Leo lay propped up with pillows all around him. His arms and legs ached if they were strained, the only way he could be mildly comfortable was for him to lay on his back perfectly still. Mikey kept him constant company, and Raph spent every moment he could sitting beside his brother's bedside, holding his hand or reading to him to pass the time. Vinny and Donny stayed in the background, both of them reluctant to meet his eyes. Guilt tore away at their insides but still, they stayed away. Donny only came close when he was trying to check on Leo's vitals or when his brother was asleep. The area around Leo was stained and saturated with darkness. His spirit emanated sadness and pain and regret. Nothing Raph or Mikey could do changed this fact... Leo's eyes watched them always, it was obvious he still expected to have them vanish at any moment... He had terrible nightmares at night, his mouth would open and his body would contort, they all knew that if he had had a voice during these times he would be screaming... Only Raph could calm him after nights like this, for he knew what they had both experienced in the afterworld, he knew what it was Leo saw when he slept... He had felt it too... If they had thought having Leo awake and safe back here at the lair would make things better they were wrong... If anything they only grew worse... Raph, Mikey, and Leo seemed to be completely separate from their other brothers... Vinny was the only one who went topside, but when he wasn't out then he was in his room... They hardly ever saw him...

Donny was like a ghost, avoiding everyone, silent, nervous, he knew he had partially caused this pain and sadness in his older brother, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize or speak. The only thing he could think to do was avoid him as much as possible. He didn't even know why he had been so angry, it was like he had been in a fog or something, just now snapping out of it. What had he been thinking? Why had he been so cruel? He was the pacifist, he was the doctor. He had betrayed everyone... Maybe once Leo could live without his help, he would just go away, leave the family he didn't deserve, go away somewhere and monitor them from afar, always ready to come back should they need him, but gone for the rest of the time...

These thoughts swirled around in his mind, he nodded as the plan took shape. Yes, thats what he would do, he would leave them and not come back unless he was really needed...


	71. Chapter 71

I am always in pain, and I am always tired, but I can't sleep, I just can't. Raph is always here, I think we have actually grown closer because of all of this. He was with me when we- when we died. I have to admit that is what it was, because I wasn't just imagining it when I was in that place, which I can only assume was hell. I saw him, I knew, I had before but I had convinced myself that it was just a figment of my mind, a flash of thought before the darkness. He told me the truth the same night that I had woken. He told me about his time in the other place. He told me about his struggle with the machine that had me, he told me what happened. I am such a burden now. I was the protector, now I am just a problem. I caused this all to happen. No matter how many times Raph tells me otherwise I know he understands the truth. I know he resents me for leading him into the foot lair and confronting Shredder, he tries to mask it but I see it. He wishes he doesn't resent me and regrets that he feels this way but I don't blame him for it at all. He trusted me, and I let him down. I let them all down.

Mikey is like a child, a very, very small child, sweet and innocent, there is little or nothing left of who he was except when he is sitting still and just watching me. It's during these times that I catch a glimpse of him as he was. He always wants to touch me. My hand, my head, my arm, I understand it. I know he senses how much I crave that. How I need to feel them both to make sure they are still here and that all of this is real. I hate how scared I get, how sad and lonely I feel even when they are sitting right next to me. It's funny, before if this had happened I would have remained silent even though I could speak, now I want nothing more than to tell them how I feel but I have no voice. Makes no sense. I make no sense.

It's like Vinny isn't even here, I never see him. I never hear him. Maybe he left, but no, I can still feel his presence. Does he blame me for what happened like I blame myself? I thought so at first, but now I am not sure. He feels different. More protective and guarded but yet distant at the same time. It's almost like he is standing watch over all of us while we heal. But what from? We are safe for once, the Shredder is gone, the foot are scattered. What could possibly be a threat now? Everything is over isn't it? I just don't know anymore.

Donny... Donny won't look at me, the hatred is still there but it is different now, almost as if it is not directed at me anymore. What happened to change his attitude towards me? If he doesn't hate me what does he feel? Am I still his brother? Does he still want to be my brother? I doubt it but I can't help my selfish hope that things will go back to the way they were. I used to be so close to him and I miss that. I miss it so much. I miss the way our family used to be. I miss master Splinter. I miss our friends April and Casey, I can't believe things have gotten this bad. That I made them this bad. I will never forgive myself, I wanted to go away and make things better but look how that turned out. I am lost for the first time in my life. How can I still be their leader after all of this? That's what Raph wants despite his buried anger and blame, he wants me to get back to the way I was and take over the weight of the family again. How can I when all of my decisions have been so wrong?

I am weak, selfish, pathetic, hurt, fearful, broken. How can I lead? How can I protect? What is my purpose or function in this family now? How do I fix this?


	72. Chapter 72

Donny watched as Leo took his first steps since waking up. His arms and legs were incredibly weak and fragile, the mutagen injections he gave his brother were unpleasant, making Leo feel sick and shaky but they were beginning to work. The bone that was knitting together would soon become even stronger than before they had been broken, but until the mending cracks and fractures hardened Leo would be at risk of breaking them again if he wasn't careful. Even though Leo didn't have much of an appetite they all pushed him to eat, already at only a month after he woke up he was gaining back some of his weight. Muscle could be worked on later, physical therapy was a long and painful process, Raph was the one who conducted it as Donny refused to spend time with Leo as much as was possible. He showed Raph what to do and watched from the other room via the camera in his lab as his brothers completed the exercises. Each session left Leo sweating and out of breath, leg, arm, and hand workouts were conducted relentlessly. Leo always had the option to stop when he wanted but whenever they would ask him if he wanted to take a break he would shake his head and glare at them until they started up again. Donny smiled sadly as he watched Raph support their brother who was slowly walking across the room to the couch. This was the first time they had allowed him to move into the living room. As usual, Leo took the initiative and waved Raph off and made it most of the way on his own steam. They all recognized this sort of determination, it was a good sign, this was a glimpse of the old Leo, it meant he wasn't gone, just a little lost at the moment. Donny had all of his things packed, he was going to leave tonight, his brothers didn't need him anymore, it was time to go.


	73. Chapter 73

Donny crept from the confines of his room and with absolute quiet born of years of ninja training, made his way towards the back exit of the lair. He held his bags filled with his computers, tools, hard drives and notebooks. He had rigged the lair with security cameras and warning systems, if anything ever went wrong he would know, and he would come back to help his family, to try to make up for his actions against them. Donny paused just outside the door and sighed. He would miss them all terribly. Even Leo, despite the fact he had spent so much time in the previous months hating him, he knew now that it was himself he had hated, and that he had transferred these negative thoughts and feelings to his older brother in order to cope with them. He didn't know why he hadn't recognized this fact and side of himself sooner, he wished he had just left before when all these things had started, the whole family would have been better off. Taking a deep breath, he moved to shut the door. A three-fingered hand stopped him.

Donny let out a gasp and whirled around ready to fight, instead of an enemy, he came face to face with the tired, gaunt face of his brother, Leonardo.

"Leo! You scared me,"

Leo stared at him silently, his eyes apologetic but firm.

Donny shook his head at the unspoken question: Where are you going at two in the morning Don?

"It's better this way Leo, it's better if I just get out of your lives and leave you be... I will always be there to help out if something happens, but- I just can't stay here anymore."

Donny looked up from the floor. Leo's eyes were sad. They were-guilty. With a slow nod, he let go of his younger brother's shoulder and stepped back, gripping the edge of the table for support. Donny rubbed the back of his neck, unsure what to say or do.

It took him a second to realize that Leo was holding something out towards him. It was a crumpled piece of paper. Donny frowned, it was a note of some sort, something Leo had written, and from the way _Leo wouldn't look directly in his eye, he guessed at what was on it... Donny swallowed, Leo probably had written out how much he hated him for what he had done, how Don was no longer his brother, how he had betrayed them all by treating one of them so badly. Leo didn't need to write it down on paper, it was already written in his heart. Still. however painful it might be, Leo deserved to have the last say, Donny deserved whatever was written on here, he deserved pain, might as well get it over with. Donny took the paper and held it up to the light so he could read it._

 _Don,_

 _I know you hated me for what happened, and I know it was my fault and that I deserved it, you were right, I should never have taken it upon myself to make such a decision. I shouldn't have let my feelings govern my actions, I shouldn't have lead Raph to face the Shredder, and I shouldn't have overestimated myself and my fighting skills. Let me be the one to leave brother, it is by my faults alone that our family has come to such pain and loss. If I hadn't done this thing, Mikey would still be Mikey, Splinter would have lived, Raph would be whole and you and Vinny would be happy and safe. I will not be the cause of your suffering any longer, I love all of you dearly and I take full responsibility for my actions. Let me go in your stead, let me be the one to leave, please, please, stay and look after our family, choose one of you to be the leader for I am not fit to be one. I am strong enough now to make it on my own, stay and heal_ from _the wounds I inflicted._

 _Leonardo_


	74. Chapter 74

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	75. Chapter 75

Donny opened his mouth to speak, but he never got the chance.

There was no warning, no sound, no anything, one minute the wall was there, and the next it wasn't.

The explosion rocked the lair, cracks split and ran across the ceiling, rubble and smoke hung in the air in curtains, a bitter smell, a sour taste, blood, copper, dirt, water rained down from the twisted pipes.

Leo couldn't see, he couldn't breathe, he was choking, dimly he was aware of pain coming from his chest and blood in his mouth, blood in his eyes, around him in the yellow/brown smoke he could see shapes moving, but he couldn't hear anything, everything was silent, except for the ringing in his head. Tired. So tired. His mind was slipping away from him even as he grasped in the dark for it. Leo let his eyes close and his head roll back onto the hard stones littering the ground.

Raph came crashing into what remained of the lair, weapons at the ready, his body bent around the warped form of his plastron. He had been in his room when the explosion had happened, he had been asleep, only to wake in a war zone.

Where his brothers were he didn't know, the smoke and the water mixed and made a thick choking substance that burned the eyes and throat. People, there were people in the sewers, they were attacking, even as Raph took down the first attacker with a stab to the heart he realized that these were the Foot, no other gang had this unique fighting style. With a savage roar that startled even himself, Raph threw himself into the battle. As he fought, he managed to push the forces back a little, so that they all crowded in the ruined wreck of what had once been their kitchen area, next to the door. The electricity flickered on and off, but Raph saw something lying on the ground ahead, his brothers, unconscious, Leo lying painfully still face up in the wreckage, bloody and broken, while Donny was being drug away by a small group of ninjas branching off from their comrades.

It was happening again.

Raph heard a familiar yell come from his right, it was a cry of pain, startled he turned in time to see Mikey being thrown back against the wall, crashing against it and leaving a red smear where he slid down to the ground.

Raph saw red.


	76. Chapter 76

Raph fought. He fought hard. He became an animal, a mindless, savage animal. He tore through the ninjas, slamming them into the walls, beating them back with brute strength, more than just his bandana was red, but most of the blood, if not all, belonged to his enemies. breath came in and out through his mouth, growling, ragged, hissing out between his teeth. He would kill them for what they were doing... For what they had done... Another explosion knocked him off his feet and sent him spinning into the far wall, he hit with the force of a freight train, slamming into the hard stone, his head whipping back and then forward, his last sight amid the gathering dark was the ceiling collapsing over his two unconscious brothers, he saw the stone hit skin and shell, before he was lost...

Mikey felt like he had been asleep for a long time... Slowly he grew aware of himself, lying partially buried in dust and rubble, as he opened his eyes he noticed with some amusement that a microwave-sized piece of cement was lying about an inch away from his face, he grinned and spat blood out of his mouth, he was just lucky that way. Carefully he sat up, holding his hand to his forehead as it spiked with pain.

"Oh my poor head... What hit me?"

The last thing he remembered was seeing April and Casey leaning over him, and then everything blurred and became foggy. There had been some kind of bird right? No wait, that was just a dream, he had been sick, fever. Mikey looked around him at the carnage.

"Damn... What the shell happened? I'm gone for five minutes and all hell breaks loose."

He managed to get to his feet, apparently, the only thing wrong with him was a headache, looking back he saw where he had been thrown against the wall, the telltale red smear explained where the blood came from.

A heavy fear gathered in his stomach as he made his way through what had been their lair, their home,

"Master Splinter? Leo? Raph? Don? You Here? Hey! You Here? Guys? GUYS?!"

Nothing but water and dirt and destruction, Mikey tripped and staggered towards the lab and then back towards the Dojo, nothing, his cries went unanswered, panic replaced fear as Mikey made his way towards the kitchen, Nunchucku in hand, grim determination in his heart. They had been attacked, Splinter and his brothers must have been taken, they would never leave him behind if they had had to make a run for it, yep, the only explanation was that the Foot or another of their enemies had attacked them while he was recovering from the fever. Mikey gritted his teeth as he caught sight of a lone throwing star lying on the ground at his feet. It had blood and green skin on its spikes. Mikey swallowed his nausea at this gruesome discovery and nodded to himself. Yep, it had been the Foot and Shredder. They had his family.

"Don't worry guys, I am coming."

Mikey headed for where the door to the lair had been, but before he could get out of the gaping hole in the wall, the pile of cement, gravel, and twisted steel pipes moved.

Startled, the orange banded turtle let out what his brother's had dubbed "Mikey's trademark little girl scream" and lept four feet in the air away from the thing trying to struggle out from under the mess that had fallen on top of it. After a second Mikey realized what the thing actually was.

"Leo!"


	77. Chapter 77

Leo became aware of a weight on his chest, holding him down, making the already impossible attempt at breathing impossible. Everything was a haze, he didn't know why he felt this desperate fear and need for haste, all he knew was that he couldn't breathe and that he hurt. Blood streaked down his neck and arms as he tried to push the massive cement slab off his plastron, he couldn't call for help because he didn't have a voice, but his mouth opened and formed words anyway, things were getting seriously bad when he heard his name and felt arms stronger than his own wrap around the cement and lift it away from him. Gasping like a fish out of water, Leo lay there, too weak and in too much pain to move yet, even as the other person in the room came back to him.

"Oh God, Leo-"

Mikey knelt beside his brother in shock, this was not the strong confident brother he had always known, the last time he had seen Leonardo was back when he first got attacked, then, his brother had been the leader, he had been sharp, lethal, healthy, and sure of himself, he had been as unyielding and steady as the swords he loved so much. Now, this poor, thin, wasted, and broken thing trying to breathe was no longer Leo. This creature was so hurt in spirit and body that it was a wonder it was even alive. Mikey felt tears in his eyes as he picked up his older brother and cradled his head and shoulders to his chest.

"Oh Leo, oh Leo, what happened? What happened big bro? Who did this to you?"

He felt Leo stiffen in his arms before frantically pushing at him. The sudden strength in his body was shocking, as well as the change from limp and gasping to alert and awake, Mikey leaned back and let go as his brother sat up on his own and stared at him like he had never seen him before.

"Uh, Leo? You Ok bro?"

Leo's eyes were wide and water ran from them, he stared at Mikey like he had never seen him before. Silently he mouthed words, reaching out and touching his brother's shoulder, gripping it, making sure this was real.

Mikey didn't know what to think, his brows knit together,

"Leo, how long was I out of it? What did they do to you?"


	78. Chapter 78

Leo stared at his little brother in utter and complete shock, he couldn't believe it, was afraid to believe it, after everything that had happened, this couldn't possibly be true. But it was, it was true, it was real, Mikey was back, he was Mikey again, you could tell by his eyes, alert, sympathetic, intelligent, no longer the vacant clouded stare that hurt the family whenever they saw it. Leo let out a silent laugh and grinning like an idiot he pulled his younger sibling closer, wrapping his arms around his shell and sobbing in sheer relief and joy into the side of his bandana. It took Mikey a minute to respond, slowly he put his arms around Leo's shell and patted him awkwardly. He had never known Leo to cry like this, what must have happened for his brother to act like this? And why wasn't he saying anything-?

"Leo, Leo, look at me bro,"

Leo wiped at his eyes and moved away so that he could meet his brother's eye. Mikey swallowed.

"Why can't you say anything? What's wrong?"

Leo shook his head sadly and then lifted his chin so that Mikey could see his neck. Mikey stared in horror at the jagged scar running the length of his brothers throat, tears welled up in his eyes and streamed down his face.

"Leo, oh Leo I-"

"They Took em."

Mikey and Leo turned to see their brother Vinny staggering over the rubble towards them, sweat and blood ran down his black and yellow striped skin, he had a nasty looking cut on the right side of his head, one to rival even Mikey's. As he came closer, Vinny's eyes shifted from Leo to his orange-banded brother and widened.

" You- Your back, aren't you."

It wasn't a question. Mikey took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yea bro, I'm back."

Vinny looked like he might pass out again as he knelt down beside them, wincing as his hand reached up to touch the rapidly swelling bruise on his temple. Leo's hand went up to gently turn his brother's head so he could inspect the damage. Vinny waved him down.

"Just give me a minute, I'm too dizzy to go after them yet, just let me sit here a sec..."

Mikey shook his head as more tears fell.

"Vinny, what happened to them while I was gone? What the hell happened for things to get like this?"

The yellow-banded turtle turned to him slowly and fixed him with one of his usual "I can see right through you to the other side" looks. It was rather unnerving to say the least. Mikey swallowed.

"You don't remember anything?"

Mikey shook his head.

"Nothing."

Vinny eyed him for a moment longer and then nodded, regretting it instantly after his head gave a nasty spike of pain.

"Ok, well, first off, the night you were attacked, Leo and Raph snuck off to fight the Shredder alone,"

As he continued to explain what happened, Mikey grew more and more upset. Leo reached out to grip his shoulder comfortingly but it didn't help much. Mikey couldn't believe what had happened in the short time he was gone, but there was still something they weren't telling him, it must be horrible for Vinny to be skirting around it like this, what could be worse than finding out that your two oldest brothers were nearly killed and were irreparibly maimed because of what happened?

"Vinny, where's dad? Where is Splinter?"

Leo looked down, the very image of brokenness. He mouthed something silently and Vinny startled them both with his reaction to it.

"NO! It wasn't your fault Leo, don't you dare say that! Don't you dare!"

Leo shook his head and sighed.

Mikey was quickly nearing a panic attack.

"He's dead isn't he? Oh my God. He is dead. I didn't get to tell him- I didn't get to-"

Leo watched him sadly, gripping his shoulder, sharing his pain. Vinny's jaw clenched and his teeth gritted together angrily.

"Yes, he is dead, but we can talk about that later, right now we need to go find our family."

Mikey watched detachedly as Vinny got to his feet, swaying only slightly as he stood up straight.

Leo and Mikey followed his example, Leo leaning against the broken wall, while Mikey tried to overcome sudden nausea at standing up to fast.

Leo's face had a strange, grim expression on it. Mikey couldn't help but smile.

"What a fine lot we are, one of us is too weak to wield a weapon, the other can barely stand up without throwing up, and the other is likely to fall over if he stands up too long."

Vinny grinned as he said what Leo was thinking, it was funny how in the darkest and most hopeless situations you find humor. Shaking his head Vinny handed Leo over one of his swords that he had salvaged from the dojo, and then made his way out into the sewer system. Mikey followed after him with Leo taking up the rear.

Mikey clutched his nunchuku until his knuckles ached. They would rescue what was left of thier family, they wouldn't lose anyone else.

They just couldn't.


	79. Chapter 79

Vinny lead them. Leo followed. He had always been the strong one, the one with the plan, the one with the steady head and hand that safeguarded the family and kept them safe. Now, he was the third wheel, the odd one out, the weak link in the chain. How would he be of any use to them now? He could barely force his body to keep pace with his two brothers as they ran to the battle shell, just that short trek was nearly too much for him to deal with, leaving him gasping and sweating in the passenger seat, as Vinny took the wheel. He had to pull himself together, one last time, he had to save his family, he had to be strong, even if it killed him. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Mikey was looking at him with something like pity in his eyes. No one had ever looked at him like that before, funny, that hurt more than any of his past wounds had.

"You ok bro?"

Leo swallowed the lump of fear in his throat and nodded. Where they were going was into hell, and he knew he wouldn't be coming out of it, but yea, he was ok with that, if it meant they were safe.

"Leo, I don't want to see you engaging anyone unless it is in self-defence do you hear me? You free Don and Raph, we handle the Foot,"

Vinny looked over at his brother in blue and tried to hold his gaze, but Leo wouldn't meet his eye. Mikey knew exactly what that meant.

"Leo, Vinny is right on this one, maybe you should-"

Leo ignored them. He would do whatever it took to save his brothers, and he wasn't about to make promises he knew he couldn't keep. If there was a way to save one of them then he would take it, even if it killed him. He didn't plan on coming back with the rest of his family tonight. There was something in the air, a stillness, a calm, a finality. For better or worse, his end was coming and he would meet it like a brother, like a son, like a warrior.


	80. Chapter 80

This couldn't be happening... Those were the words that repeated endlessly in Donnie's head. Their brothers were hurt and wounded, possibly,,, dead... Raph was unconscious and he was behind what could only be described as a force field watching as these foot ninja placed the iron chains around Raph's neck and welded them to the floor, effectively incapacitating him. Raph would be helpless to stop whatever they were about to do to him, and from behind this transparent yet unpassable wall of blue Don couldn't stop them either. He had covered every single inch of his prison since they had taken him, and still couldn't find a control panel, wire system, power source or any other means of escape. All there was was concrete and steel. He was stuck. He was trapped. He could do nothing.

All the while that woman continued to stand there and watch them like they were fascinating animals in a zoo. No, even less than that. Like they were meat in a butchery. _  
_

"Kon'ya, watashi wa chichi no shi o fukushū suru, anata wa kono ichizoku ni taishite komitto shite iru hanzai wa, ōku nodeari, subete ga shobatsu sa remasu. Anata no tane wa, watashi no fukushū o okonau yō ni, kon'ya shūryō shimasu."

Her eyes were cold and clear as she spoke to him, around the room more ninja waited, weapons, blades, blunt instruments, torture devices, they had come for the party and could barely contain their excitement. The air was electric and hostile. He understood her words, he had made a point of learning every language via google translate whenever he got bored. They didn't bode well for either himself or Raph. Clearing his throat, he began speaking in fluent Japanese, trying to draw upon his brilliant brain to come up with some sort of a solution to this deadly dilemma.

"Sore wa kare ga fushō shite itashi,-te de tatakai kara sakujo shita nochi, kare wa watashitachi no ichizoku no mottomo yowai menbā o kōgeki shita toki ni, kare no unmei o kimeta anata no yō ni yoba reru chichidatta. Kare wa fumeiyo okubyōmono ijō no nanimonode mo nakatta. Kare wa watashitachi no ichizoku ya saikyō, aruiwa kashikoi no mottomo jukuren shita kōgeki o aete shite inai! Sonogo, ashi no meiyo wa doko ni arimashita ka? Shureddā wa, kono sensō de watashitachi no mottomo mujitsu o totta, kare wa watashitachi no rīdāreonarudo o makanakereba naranakatta. Watashitachi no kazoku wa itte iru: Shōri no mae ni meiyo to chūsei kokoro. Jinsei no tame no jinsei. Watashitachiha seigi o totta. Ninja no kōdo wa sore o yōkyū shimasu. Oshietekudasai, anata no kōdo wa, ashi no ichizoku no atarashī rīdādesu ka? Shuhindesu ka? Matawa okubyō?"

The woman looked stunned, and Donny realized he had delt a blow as powerful as any blade could have done. He couldn't help but smile as he saw her splutter for words in her rage. But that soon changed as she turned and began walking towards Raph.

Translation:

Kon'ya, watashi wa chichi no shi o fukushū suru, anata wa kono ichizoku ni taishite komitto shite iru hanzai wa, ōku nodeari, subete ga shobatsu sa remasu. Anata no tane wa, watashi no fukushū o okonau yō ni, kon'ya shūryō shimasu.

"Tonight I will avenge my father's death, the crimes you have committed against this clan are many, and all will be punished. Your species ends tonight, as does my vengeance."

 _It was your so called father that decided his fate, when he attacked the weakest member of our clan after he had been wounded and removed from the battle at hand. He was nothing more than a dishonorable coward. He didn't dare to attack the most skilled of our clan or the strongest or even the smartest! Where was the Foot's honor then? The Shredder took the most innocent of us in this war, he did it only to wound our Leader Leonardo. Our family has a saying: honor and loyalty before victory. A life for a life. We took our Justice. The code of the ninja demands it. Tell me, what is your code new leader of the Foot Clan? Is it honor? Or cowardice?_

Sore wa kare ga fushō shite itashi,-te de tatakai kara sakujo shita nochi, kare wa watashitachi no ichizoku no mottomo yowai menbā o kōgeki shita toki ni, kare no unmei o kimeta anata no yō ni yoba reru chichidatta. Kare wa fumeiyo okubyōmono ijō no nanimonode mo nakatta. Kare wa watashitachi no ichizoku ya saikyō, aruiwa kashikoi no mottomo jukuren shita kōgeki o aete shite inai! Sonogo, ashi no meiyo wa doko ni arimashita ka? Shureddā wa, kono sensō de watashitachi no mottomo mujitsu o totta, kare wa watashitachi no rīdāreonarudo o makanakereba naranakatta. Watashitachi no kazoku wa itte iru: Shōri no mae ni meiyo to chūsei kokoro. Jinsei no tame no jinsei. Watashitachiha seigi o totta. Ninja no kōdo wa sore o yōkyū shimasu. Oshietekudasai, anata no kōdo wa, ashi no ichizoku no atarashī rīdādesu ka? Shuhindesu ka? Matawa okubyō?


	81. Chapter 81

Leo followed behind his brothers, he had abandoned his swords that he had brought with him because they had proved to be too heavy. As it was he could barely keep up, at this rate he wouldn't be of any use to anyone once they got to the throne room. So far breaking into the Foot headquarters had been fast if very difficult work. Vinny and Mikey were moving so fast that he couldn't really focus on them what with his blurring vision. Leaning up against the wall he waited for his heart and chest to quit hurting and for the others to finish their work.

"Come on, next floor up should be where Raph and Don are."

Vinny's voice echoed around in his head for a moment before the words made sense. Slowly Leo started up the next flight of stares.

Donny tried to talk her down, tried to distract her away, but it was no use, grinning like a mad woman Karai pressed the knife even closer to Raph's neck and then tore her hand away, resulting in a spray of blood.

Donny screamed in horror and fell to his knees, pressing his hands against the force field and ignoring the searing pain it caused him. His hands blistered and hissed under the onslaught of the force field' energy but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, Raph was bleeding to death on the floor, the world didn't matter.

At that moment there was a crashing sound from somewhere behind the woman standing over Raph, shouts and cries of pain or fear, it was all a blur until his brother's face appeared beside him. It was Mikey, alive, sane, himself.


	82. Chapter 82

The whole world stopped for him when Raph fell. He ran past Vinny, past Mikey, past everyone, dropping to the ground beside his red-banded brother and ignoring all others in his desperation to stop the blood from flowing out of his neck. He didn't even notice Karai as she raised her weapon again to end his life as well. Vinny barreled into her before she could deliver the killing blow, pushing her against the wall of ninja as she fought to keep him from tearing her apart. Mikey ran to Donny and disabled the power source for the force field, there was no time for any explanations or greetings, almost as soon as he handed Don his Bo staff the other ninja were on them.

The fight raged on all sides, blood was spilt en mass and seeped across the floor to mingle with Raph's. Leo cradled his brother to him, shielding him as best he could from any more harm and all the while pressing his hand into the wound, Raph was still breathing, his airway was intact somehow, it was the blood, all that blood that was the danger as it slowly and steadily escaped between Leo's fingers. The rest of the blue banded turtle's body was shaking, yet somehow his hands were not. Praying, bent over, trying not to move, Raph was too heavy for him now, he couldn't get them to safety even if he tried, and the wall of ninja were too many to contend with. Around him his brothers tried to stand their ground but it was almost too much with both Raph and Leo out of the fight.

Donny saw Karai go down under Vinny's attacks but couldn't see her once that happened because of the barrage of swords and sais aimed at his chest, forcing him to return his attention to his end of the battle. Mikey let out a whoop of triumph as he took down several of his enemies, while to his left Vinny continued the massacre, he had gone for lack of a better word mad. He tore the ninja with his bare hands and used the sharp edge of shell to cut them when they knocked his weapons away. He could feel his brother slipping away and could do nothing to help, and yet, at the same time he felt some other presence. He couldn't focus on it long enough to tell what it was, once again he turned to the fray and shouted out a challenge.

Leo could feel Raph going cold, could feel the frantic pulse slowing under his fingertips. He was losing him again, losing his brother. As if in a dream Leo looked up and saw a figure limping towards where they knelt, it was Karai, she was clutching her arm to her stomach trying to stop herself from bleeding out from Vinny's wound. He watched her come closer, bringing out a long knife as she did so. Leo looked back at Raph.

 _Don't worry_ _otouto, I'm here, I won't leave you..._

Leo leaned down to touch his forehead to his brother's and closed his eyes. As he did so he thought he heard something in the back of his mind, something warm and comforting...

Water from his eyes. A shout from somewhere far away and then another right in front of him. A sharp pain in his shell, a deep wound, a heart rent, no breath, darkness and after that there was a flash of light, and Then Leo was gone...


	83. Chapter 83

Vinny couldn't see, everything was quiet, his eyes stung and felt gritty, there was a foul sweet smell, when he came back to himself, all of the humans were dead, he was covered in red from head to foot, blood, tons of it, most belonged to his enemies, but judging from the pain in his side, a lot of it was his own. His arms and legs shook, there was a ringing in his ears, drowning out the sobbing voices somewhere closer to them, for some reason, he felt distracted and bothered by some feeling hovering around by his head. Just out of sight.

There were many things happening, but half was happening somewhere else, someplace only he could see, there, over there, beside the crumpled pile that was his siblings, Donny and Mikey were clutching at the two bodies on the ground, they were crying, screaming, grief, bitter grief and pain, it was overwhelming, he couldn't stand up anymore. As he fell he could see the pale transparent figures standing over them before he lost the battle.

Donny watched through his tears as their older brother collapsed beside the door, after Leo had been stabbed by Karai, he had gone off the deep end, the fight before this had been nothing compared to the massacre he inflicted. Parts of Karai still littered the floor over by the wall, it made him feel sick, he had already purged his stomach when he had seen his brother's lifeless body fall forward onto Raph's. Until the end he had tried to protect them. And now it was over. Everything was over. For nothing. All of this waste, for nothing. The horrible truth of this whole situation they found themselves in crashed down around him. Numbly he looked over at where Mikey was rocking Raph's body back and forth, letting out inhuman cries that sounded more like a dying animal than anything else. There was nothing he could do, Raph was hardly even alive at this point, and wouldn't survive anyway even if they somehow managed to get him out and back to the lair. Vinny was so exhausted from the fight that he was useless, and Mikey was too hurt and miserable to help either. It was better if they just let Raph lay there, and slip away quietly instead of hurting him anymore.

More tears fell. Don looked up and around them and let out a sob. Why? Why did this have to happen? Why were their lives so messed up? Why couldn't they all have lived normal, peaceful lives where they could all just love one another and live? He looked down at Leonardo's drawn face, pained, even in death, his passing had been hard, it had hurt, and it had all been for nothing because Raph was dying anyway...

" I am sorry oniisan, I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry I was such a terrible brother. I am sorry I was too late,,, again..."

He didn't know if he could survive after this... It hurt too damn much...

All the while, Raph's breathing slowed down, until it stopped completely. Mikey threw back his head and screamed.


	84. Chapter 84

"Leonardo"

"Father?"

"Come here, my son."

"Father. You're here... Thank God... I thought-"

"Shhh, it is alright, everything is alright now, I am here..."

"The others- Where- What?"

"My son, do you remember what happened?"

"I remember pain... Deep... Deep pain, I think- I- I died didn't I."

"Yes, yes, my poor brave Leonardo, you died to protect them, just like I knew you would,"

"But I didn't protect them, not all of them, I wasn't fast enough, or strong enough, I couldn't-"

"Shhh, none of that was your fault my son,"

"But Raph, he- Father he is dying!"

"No, by giving your life like that Leonardo, you have changed the way things were supposed to be, you were never meant to live my son, the balance of things was distorted, it was Raph that was supposed to live and you who were supposed to die that day, but somehow, your will to live was too strong, death couldn't claim you until you let it, by doing so you have changed things for the better, they won't remember what happened to them past that night my son, it will be as it should have been after tonight. Time will right itself. You must relive that night once more, and let things play out as they were supposed to knowing what you know now, you must kill the shredder, you must let yourself be killed, and then everything will be as it was. I know this is much to ask of you, but for the good of the family, we both must leave it. Come to me instead of your brother, and we will finish what was started. Together we will protect our family and destroy the Shredder. Are you with me my child?"

"Yes. Yes, I am with you father."


	85. Chapter 85

Leo opened his eyes. He was standing over Mikey and Don in the lab, Donny was carefully tending to his brother's wounds, monitoring the fever that was threatening to climb too high. Leo couldn't help but gasp at the sight of the two of them, relief, pure relief and happiness at seeing them filled his chest. Nothing had happened yet, nothing had hurt them yet, he had another chance.

For one moment weakness seeped in, the will to leave them this way and go off into hell to fight their enemy left him. Why couldn't he stay behind? Stay here and protect them in person, love them, care for them and live with them? Maybe they could leave New York, maybe they could run away, all of them, now before anything happened.

Even as he thought these things the world around him seemed to dim, other sounds, other smells and sights came at him, from the last battle, where he and Raph were lying dead in a sea of blood, his two younger brothers grieving for them as the police sirens raged in the background.

Leo stepped back away from the sight and found himself back at the lair, staring at Raph who was sitting with his head in his hands on the sofa.

He looked up as his blue banded brother entered.

Leo swallowed the lump in his throat at seeing Raphael unharmed and whole, It was all he could do to not run and embrace him, tell him everything, how he appreciated him, respected him, trusted him. Raph glared at Leo standing there in the doorway to the lab, his mouth hanging open like an idiot. Anger and fear made him harsh.

"Well?"

"...Well what?"

"What the hell do you mean "well what?" how is our brother you moron? Is he ok or not?"

Leo winced at his brother's words as everything that had happened to their family flooded back, the cruelty of Donny, the loss of Mikey, the death of Splinter, the pain he and Raph suffered in that dark place. He had to wait a moment to compose himself, but he wasn't fast enough.

Raph saw it.

His demeanor changed, slowly he stood up an came over to his older brother, he was shocked to see water in Leo's eyes.

"No... No, no, no, Mikey can't be-"

He pushed past the blue banded turtle and ran towards the infirmary when he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright Raph, Mikey is fine..."

"Then what is it?"

Leo looked at his brother.

Nothing had happened yet, the horror he had seen was not to come to pass. There was still time.


	86. Chapter 86

**Haha beware... I evil genius extraordinaire am on a rampage! I am tempted to string this stupid thing out forever because I am simply having too good of a time to stop. Also I am curious as to how many reviews I can get... On average about 20,000 people see this every week so I know you guys aren't reviewing to your full potential here. I have several different endings in mind, and several different scenarios where these poor tmnt characters get drug through the mud for another hundred chapters. In which case I would be combining the sequel into this story directly so that I can continue having fun with the ratings. Yes there is a sequel. I still haven't decided on a definite ending for Leo. Should I kill him? Should I save him? Should I torture the whole family some more? What good is a fanfic without some disaster and loss and guilt and anger right? What should I do here? What do you guys want me to do? Post your opinions on the reviews, this is the crossroads for the whole story right here... What happens next is up to you... Or actually it is up to me but I am willing to hear your opinions... You guys are the jury, I am the judge... Recommendations?**

"What is it Leo?"

Raph watched his brother warily, he seemed... Off. Something was wrong here, but what it was he didn't know.

Leo seemed to be struggling with something, it was almost like he wanted to tell Raph some big secret, or some trouble that was weighing on him.

"Bro, whatever it is you can tell me, I am sorry I snapped at ya, I was just worried..."

Leo nodded and swallowed. Under his cheek, Raph could see his jaws grinding together.


	87. Chapter 87

"What is it Leo?"

Raph watched his brother warily, he seemed... Off. Something was wrong here, but what it was he didn't know.

Leo seemed to be struggling with something, it was almost like he wanted to tell Raph some big secret, or some trouble that was weighing on him.

"Bro, whatever it is you can tell me, I am sorry I snapped at ya, I was just worried..."

Leo nodded and swallowed. Under his cheek, Raph could see his jaws grinding together.

"I have to speak with Splinter."

Raph's brows came together and then he huffed.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what Raph?"

"Shut down like that. Shut everyone out, believe it or not, fearless leader, we all care just as much about you as you do about us, that in there, it wasn't your fault so don't beat yourself up about it alright? We are all here for you bro, never forget that. And even if someday somethin happens to one of us, even if it is your fault it happened we wouldn't blame ya. We all love ya Leo, and you can't take all the blame for everything."

Leo didn't even look like he was listening, so it surprised the red banded turtle when suddenly Leo grabbed him and pulled him into a bone crunching hug. Raph was too stunned to do anything more than pat Leo awkwardly on the shell before his brother pulled away and headed for the dojo where Splinter was waiting.

* * *

"Come in my son."

Splinter turned away from his meditation to see his eldest kneel in front of him, head bowed respectfully. Splinter was a little surprised to see him here, considering the way Leo normally shut himself away in his room to brood whenever one of his brothers got hurt on a mission. Leaning forward Splinter bowed to his son and then waited for him to speak. Judging by the young turtle's chi he was experiencing inner turmoil. Splinter frowned at the feelings of guilt, desperation, fear, resolve, pain, anguish, hope, and endless well of sadness that was swirling around inside him.

Leo took a deep breath.

And then shook his head.

Abruptly he stood and backed away from his master, leaving the old rat staring after him in confusion.

"I am sorry master Splinter, but I have to deal with this myself, this was a mistake."

Before Splinter could stop him Leonardo turned and ran.


	88. Chapter 88

Leo ran through the sewer tunnels, his body fine-tuned and sure as it had always been, he wasn't weak anymore, he was strong, he breathed deep and let out a hoarse bark of laughter, he could do this, he could take out the shredder, he would protect his family one last time, one last time, and he would enjoy doing it. Nothing had happened yet, there was no death, if Donny and Vinny were there with Mikey he wouldn't be in any danger, with his other sons by his side, Splinter would be alright, the loss of just one wouldn't destroy the family, and Raph... Raph would be the leader, he would take up where Leo left off, he would protect once the protector was gone. Maybe one day he would forgive him for what he was about to do, for the good of the family. After tonight, everything would be alright. It had to be.

Leo broke onto the surface and was gone before any could see him. He was on the rooftops, flying across the gaps in the buildings, running faster than he ever had before. Eyes tearing up from the wind whipping his face. Swords at his back, a knife in his belt, poison grenades, and then the last thing he had taken from the lab, the thing Donny had been working on for the past three weeks, the fail-safe.

If all else ended and he had lost, Leo would deploy his last option and blow himself and the Shredder sky high.

He couldn't do anything about the crazy Foot lady but the others could handle her if the Shredder and his goons were history.

If only he could be there with them.

Suddenly Leo was struck with just how much he was going to miss. All the laughs and good times, all the little things that make up family life, even the boring stuff, he would miss it all and he didn't want to. He didn't want to leave yet. And his life, his life so far had been hard, painful, with brief moments of happiness snatched away between battles. Scars littered his body. Inside of him there were even more. If only...

Stop it. Be strong. For them. Give them the life you wanted. Give it to them. Let them have it. You have to do this. Be strong. For your brothers. For your father. For your family.


	89. Chapter 89

There is something very free and powerful about knowing that you are going to die. Leo until now had always held back, planning ahead of his actions, carrying the responsibility of his brother's safety and always looking out over his shoulder for danger in case one of his brothers missed an attack or hit. Now it was just himself, no one else to protect in the fight, he didn't even have to watch out for his own safety because he knew tonight would be his end, so in essence, he could fight as hard and as recklessly as he wanted, he could act as irresponsible as Mikey, as cold and clever as Donny, as ruthless as Raph, and as crazed as Vinny, nothing was going to stop him tonight. Tonight he had only one goal, kill everyone in that building. Kill them all. He was the predator, he was death, he was vengeance. Leo crouched down behind the same air conditioning unit that both he and Raph had hidden behind before. The Foot clan would know of his presence when he first set foot into the elevator, they would gather together behind the opening doors and fire before he even had a chance to get out.

Well, that would work just perfect.

Leo headed down to the elevator, killing both guards in a split second before the cameras turned back and then slipping inside a moment later. Calmly Leo stood and put the timed detonators onto the walls, then he took his swords and sliced the ceiling open and climbed out. It was dark but his eyes adjusted enough for him to see. Taking a breath he lept up and grabbed ahold of the doors leading to the floor directly over the ambush that was waiting for him down below. Quickly he pried them open and ran down the deserted hall.

Five seconds later the building rumbled as the explosions went off.

Leo didn't miss a beat. Cutting open the electric light overhead he leapt up into the crawlspace in the ceiling. Leo grinned to himself as he made his way towards the Shredders hidden room. It was a hell of a lot easier to do all of this without being shot in the gut. Leo stopped for a moment and shut his eyes, trying to sift through the horror of that night to remember which way to go. Instinct from his animal DNA helped him as he felt a small hesitant tug in his chest. Straight ahead, up three floors, and then left. Gritting his teeth and thanking God that his shell wasn't as bulky as Raphs was, Leo started off towards his enemy.

Five minutes later, he was kneeling on his hands and knees directly over the Shredder.

Through the grating in the floor he watched and waited. For the right moment to strike, for his heart to quit hammering, for his nerves to harden. This was it. In a few minutes, he would be dead and everything would be over. Sadness, fear, helplessness, anger, he swallowed them all and narrowed his focus to one solitary thing, ending the Shredder. Once and for all.

Taking a deep breath, Leo attacked.


	90. Chapter 90

The last thing Shredder expected was for a furious six-foot turtle wielding twin katana to come crashing down onto his head from out of the ceiling. Only decades of ninja training allowed him to keep his head and duck out of the way at the last second, but it still didn't let him get away unharmed, one of the swords managed to stab into his shoulder blade, going deep in between the joints in his armor. Shouting for his elite guard as he threw himself sideways he saw a flash of blue and green. He knew instantly who it was who was attacking him. Leonardo.

Leo didn't hesitate for a moment, pulling his sword back towards him still dripping blood from the cut, he spun around out of the reach of the elite ninja who were pouring into the room along with the rest of the clan. He darted away back towards Oroku Saki who was trying to recover from the powerful hit he had delt. He couldn't mess up here, it would take everything he had to take them all out. Leo found amid the rush of adrenalin and strategic instinct that overwhelmed his body and mind, that he was actually enjoying this. Grinning like a demon out of hell, the young warrior ran in and aimed another swipe at the Shredder.

Oroku Saki was in pain, it was a serious wound and it affected his arm, he couldn't lift it without growling in pain. Baring his teeth he met the turtle's sword with his gauntlet and pressed back, forcing his enemy to engage with the other ninja coming to their master's aid.

It was getting too close here, he couldn't get boxed in or they would overwhelm him, he had to keep moving, leaping off the wall Leo took off, running full tilt towards the door, and then left as more ninja came in. His swords glinted and flashed, red sprayed out and covered the windows, bodies fell in front of him, and he was never in one place longer than a second. He was like a caged fox amongst chickens, wrecking havoc on everyone and everything he came in contact with.

The Shredder stayed pacing around in the middle of the room, waiting for Leo to tire, his minions kept the turtle too busy to get near him without getting seriously hurt. The problem was he was moving so fast that they couldn't touch him. Suddenly the elite was in front of the warrior and he was forced to slow his momentum, becoming entangled in the fight, his frantic flight halted. Oroku saw his chance and with a burst of speed ran at Leonardo.

Leo ducked to avoid the axe blade aimed at his face, leaning back so that his shell grazed the floor, it was too late that he saw the Shredder's knives coming down, with a cry, the turtle shot out his hand and arm, blocking the weapon's decent, and then screaming in pain as the sharp metal hit bone and stuck.

Pain, pain unlike anything he had ever felt, how could anything hurt this much? How could his arm still be attached to his body? Desperate to get away Leo tried to throw himself back, but only succeeded in further injuring himself. His arm was frozen in a bent position, his katana still gripped in his hand, the Shredder's blades were embedded in his elbow and forearm. His breath screamed out as he took in how everything could have gone wrong so soon, dimly he was aware of laughter somewhere over him, it was then, that he realized that he had lost, that it was over, so soon... He had lost, and now his enemies laughed. They laughed at his agony and he knew then, as his blood ran out and covered the ground, that he had three gas grenades on his belt and one in his hand. Grinning through the pain he pulled out the triggers and threw them into the room. There was a shout and then they exploded.


	91. Chapter 91

The Shredder pulled back away from the gas trying to invade his mask, around him his minions were losing consciousness and many that had fallen stopped breathing,,, holding his breath he turned and ran towards the window, dragging the turtle inadvertently behind him... Cursing how this day could have gone so wrong, how all this madness could have happened right under his nose... Blood spattered the floor as he crashed through the glass and freefell through the air... A second later the last explosion, the fail-safe device, went off, the shock wave jolted the two enemies as they fell... The Shredder snarled at the rapidly approaching ground... His suit could handle the impact, he had insured it when he had had it designed... As he fell he felt himself come loose from the turtle, and they began falling in different directions about 30 feet before impact.

Leo spun out of control, his fall had lost momentum when he had been thrown out in a different direction from the Shredder, but that thought gave him no comfort, he felt cold, and tired and lost... He was an idiot... It wasn't supposed to be like this... He had failed and killed himself in the process... Above him he could see the building's destruction, the fire raging was spreading throughout the floors, taking everything out... Leo had a split second before he hit, he closed his eyes and cradled his arm to his chest, red liquid in an arc over his head, wind rushing past him, a sudden shocking pain and then nothing...

The Shredder slammed into the cement and rolled. His bones broke and he growled at the pain, but he was alive, unlike his infernal adversary Leonardo, surely that worthless animal had died in the fall, slowly he tried to stand, to go back to gloat over his victory, but as he did so he felt something tear, and knew that he had made a fatal error.

The wound that the blue banded turtle had delt ripped open, cutting deep into his body, into vital organs and tissues, splitting him open, the impact and the stress had been too much, had he just laid there, he would have lived, but through his pride and viciousness he had effectively killed himself. Oroku Saki couldn't believe what had happened. Even as he fell back, drowning in his own blood, he couldn't understand how at the brink of victory he had been conquered... As his eyes became dull and dead, and the last breath left his body, a green vehicle driven by six-foot-tall turtles came into view...


	92. Chapter 92

Raph careened around the corner of Eastman and Laird, up ahead he could see the whole sky lit up red and yellow, the fire was raging out of control, whatever his brother had done, he sure as hell hadn't been subtle about it. Raph huffed, annoyed and worried but proud nonetheless. Yes he was pissed that Leo hadn't included him in this whole beat down but man, not that he would ever admit it out loud, Leo had style.

Suddenly the lights from the Shellraiser fell on the ground up ahead and Raph's breath caught in his throat, there was something lying still and dead on the road. For one split second the red-banded turtle thought it might be his brother, but then he saw the knives and helmet.

"Shredder."

Raph pulled over beside the body. Blood leaked out of the joints in the armor, clearly, their lifelong foe was dead. Leaning down to inspect the scene closer Raph saw that Leo had been the one to kill him, but what he found on Saki's blades were what made him panic. There, on the metal knives, was blood and skin, green skin.

"Oh God... Oh God... Leo..."

He was panting now in his fear, there was a feeling in his chest that hurt him, that was cold, something was wrong.

Reaching into his belt Raph brought out a pair of night vision goggles and put them down over his mask. When he did so he noticed the blood splatter leading off towards the buildings below Saki towers. Raph broke into a run, barking out his brother's name as he went. There was no answer, There was never an answer.

* * *

Leo opened his eyes slowly. He hurt. Everything hurt. He couldn't move even if he wanted to, where was he anyway? What had happened? Why was the sky glowing? Bits and pieces of ash fluttered down onto his body, they were beautiful and he watched them with dull fascination. Tired. He had never felt this tired. His skin was blistered and raw, when the ash fell on it, it burned. Fire, there had been a fire, and there had been a fight. The Shredder. Where were his brothers? Why didn't they come? He hurt and they weren't here. Where were they? Why was he alone?

Because he chose to be.

Everything came back. Leo gasped as he remembered. No, no, no, no, the Shredder was still alive! His suit could have withstood the impact of the ground, how bad had he been hit? Was he going after his family right now? Were they alright? Did they need his help?

Leo struggled to get up, putting his weight on his arm, the bone cracked even more and he let out a scream, falling back against the crushed dumpster and squeezing his watering eyes shut against the agony. He wasn't even aware of the fact that his brother had found him.


	93. Chapter 93

Raph heard his brother's scream, it was a death knell to his heart, breathlessly he ran towards the sound and came across a sight that he had hoped he would never see. Leo was lying in a pool of his own blood, it ran down his body and dripped to the cement below, his arm was bent at an unnatural angle and the bone showed through. His skin was curled up like strips of paint, burnt and raw, and in some places, it was completely black, one whole side of his face was scorched, his left eye sunk in and bleeding. Leo was making strange sounds, sounds that scared Raph. It only took him a second to recover himself, carefully, the red-banded turtle reached out and touched his brother's shoulder.

Leo turned to look at him, squinting through his pain, bewildered. When he spoke his voice was hoarse and rough.

"Raph?"

"Oh shell bro, what did they do to ya?"

"Raph..."

"Don't worry, I'll get ya out of here, we'll get Don ta fix ya up-"

Leo closed his eyes and shook his head. A sound somewhere between a sob and a cough came from his mouth.

"He hates me... Never forgive... Wishes I was dead... Sorry... So sorry..."

"Who Don? Nah, he was the one sent me out to find ya, worried sick, wanted to come himself but Splinter wouldn't let him leave Mike, don't worry mate, you'll be back to your old bossy self soon enough."

"Hates me..."

"Leo how many times have you told me not to act rashly and run off to bust heads by myself? What the hell were you thinking?"

"Wasn't... Had to protect you... Had to kill... Shredder..."

"Yea, I saw it, he won't be bothering us no more, why didn't you bring me with ya huh? I would have liked to have been in on the action you know."

"Didn't want you... To... Hurt... Die... My fault... All my fault... Splinter, Splinter said..."

Raph snorted and wrote his brother's ramblings as the result of blood loss. He continued to speak reassuringly as he worked, trying to keep both of them calm. The worst problem at the moment was the bleeding, Leo's arm was a mess, his hand twisted in a fist, frozen hard. Hopefully, he would be able to use it again. Raph worked to bind it up the best he could but what they really needed to do was get back to the lair.


	94. Chapter 94

He was aware of soft voices and gentle hands, of pain and fear soothed. He slept and woke, never fully aware. Things blurred together and made no sense. He didn't dream, but he did remember. Snatches of things before. When he did wake it was to the feeling that a long time had passed, and to see Splinter seated at the foot of his bed. He looked tired, but calm and healthy. For a moment Leo just sat there, letting everything role over him, watching his master and remembering a time not very long ago when he was gone. When he had fallen beside the bed, dying in his sons weak arms. When everything bad had suddenly gotten worse. When Donny had hated him and Raph was dead. When everything he had loved had fallen apart. Emotion rose in his chest and his breath wavered and shook. He closed his eyes and fought for control, something that had become impossible before, as he did so he took stock of his young, vibrant body. He was thinner than when he had attacked the Foot clan alone, but he was still strong and well. He wasn't dead, much to his surprise. He was alive, and he was here, with his family, they were alright, they were alright.

Splinter cocked his head to the side as he stared at his eldest child. For some reason, he felt that he didn't know this Leonardo at all. He felt so different, so alien, his aura was dim, there were deep aching hurts in his son's soul. What had happened? What had changed? This couldn't have been the result of the fight with the Shredder could it? These wounds felt old, twisted, raw and festering. Splinter leaned forward as Leonardo opened his eyes once more, his brows knit when he saw the open love and sadness and regret, the Leonardo they had all known kept his feelings guarded and locked away within himself, this young turtle in front of him was a window, you could see it all. Everything he was and had been. It was all there for anyone to see that wanted to look.

"My son, what has happened to you?"

Leonardo smiled, reminding Splinter of the dying warriors he had known as they lay half dead on the ground, mocking life and death with that same grin that held no mirth. This more than anything scared the old rat, he felt a thrill of ice cold at his center as his son met his eyes once more.

"Nothing that I didn't deserve father."

"What do you mean? What occurred to scar your spirit in this manner?"

The blue banded turtle looked away from his Sensei and his head fell back. Hamato Yoshi could almost see shapes in the darkness of his son's eyes. A battle and a lifetime apart flitting across glass. Something terrible had befallen this person before him, but whoever this was, it was not his Leonardo. This person was a stranger. The old rat felt tears pool and fall, he knew that the turtle he had raised was no more, reaching out he took the young warrior's hand in his own and wept.


	95. Chapter 95

"Leo! Your awake!"

Mikey ran into the lab, his eyes were lit up they way they had been before anything bad had ever happened. I had missed those eyes, as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders jabbering away about how much he had missed me, I just closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his voice, it didn't matter that my arm hurt, it didn't matter that I might never use it again or that I couldn't close my hand, nothing mattered because he was alright. He was Mikey, my little brother, and he was safe. I could see Raph and Don standing behind him watching me, Vinny still hadn't come to see me, but I had a feeling that he knew what had transpired that night, he could sense it. When he did come to see me I would talk to him, but for now I was fine with letting him have time to himself. I didn't want to go over anything yet. Right now I just wanted to be here, with them, making sure they were real and alive. Raph and Don hung back, hesitant, from the way they acted I knew Splinter had spoken with them. I told myself that I wouldn't even mind it if they didn't love me like they used to once they realized I was different.

Mikey pulled back, grinning and fidgeting around like he always did when he was excited. He looked over at the others and motioned them to come over. Donny came first, he had his doctor face on, the one where he was taking note of everything you did, every movement and filing it away for future reference. When I met his eyes I saw the brother I had known before, the gentle, kind, nerdy kid that looked up to me and tried to use his gadgets and contraptions to make our lives just a bit easier. This was the Donny that stayed up all night making Mikey a play station for his 12th birthday, the one that fixed Raph's motor bike and stayed up late with Vinny when he couldn't sleep for his nightmares. This was the brother that had burst into tears and hugged me after I fell off that pipe when I was seven, the one that jumped in front of me and stopped the Shredder when I was down, the one that made sure I got enough sleep and was always there if I needed to talk.

But even as he grinned at me and asked how I was feeling, even as he went on about how worried he had been when he saw that I wasn't in the lair that night, I couldn't help but remember the way he had looked at me when Splinter had died in my arms, the way he struck me, the hate I saw in his eyes when he looked at me. It hurt, and now everything about him was tainted for me, I knew I deserved what he did, I knew it had been right for him to despise me, but damn it, it hurt. It hurt worse than any wound, any cut, any hit. It would always hurt me and nothing I did could stop it. My old mask slipped down over my face to hide this from the innocent teenager in front of me, and because Mikey had chosen that moment to bump into him and make him look away while I thought those things, he didn't notice. But when I glanced over at Raph I knew that he had seen it. Our eyes met and silently I pleaded him to let it alone, he nodded once but I knew that later he would be back and would speak with me.

Donny took my temperature and checked all the machines, lecturing me about how foolish I had been, I must have answered, but I don't really remember what was said. As I watched them I realized that I had grown, I felt so much older than them, they were just children, they didn't know what I had experienced, they had never been betrayed, they had never been the cause of a loved one's death, they had never watched a brother or a father die in their arms, or been alone when they thought they were going to die. Things would never be the same.


	96. Chapter 96

Everything was quiet, it was early, and Leo couldn't sleep because of the pain in his arm, that and every time he closed his eyes he dreamed of things that had happened before. Each time he had a nightmare he would wake up shivering and sweating from fear. It was always the same, Splinter dying, Raph lost alone in the dark, Donny hating him, Mikey lost within his mind, the blame in Vinny's eyes. All of his memories tormenting and replaying over and over. He wished it would stop, it made his stomach feel hot and sick, made him sweat and shiver. When he was awake it still was there, everything- oh God- everything that had happened was there, and each time he woke he thought he saw the thing in the darkness slip away, like it had been there, watching him. Closing his eyes Leo wept, quietly, breathing slow and careful so that he wouldn't alert the others.

He knew Raph was there even though he didn't make a sound, and felt his brother come around to sit beside his hospital cot. Leonardo didn't bother to dry his eyes, even if he did it wouldn't make any difference, the red banded turtle knew they had been there. Of all his brothers, the two of them had had a special bond, both understood the other. There were no secrets. Never really had been, both had seen the other at his lowest and at his highest, weakness and strength used to matter so much, now, things just were.

Raph for the first time in his life felt like Leo was far away, somewhere even he couldn't reach. He sighed and ran a hand over his tired eyes. He hadn't had a decent nights sleep in weeks.

"What happened to you bro?"

Leo shook his head and smiled, it held no mirth.

"You would never believe me, I wouldn't believe me."

Raph leaned forward and clasped his hands over his knees, his face was determined and set.

"whatever you say, I will believe it. I know you will tell me the truth. You have never in your life lied to me."

Leo opened his eyes and glanced at his brother.

"Where do I even start Raph?"

"At the beginning."


	97. Chapter 97

I told him everything. While I spoke I stared down at my hands, not wanting to look and see disbelief or doubt in my brother's eyes. What if he thought I was crazy? Would I believe myself if I was Raph? I didn't know the answer to that.

There was no proof, there was no evidence except my words. It was strange to be able to speak again, for so long I had been without a voice and now to hear it again was strange. A stranger's voice. Halting and uncertain, not at all how it used to sound, confident and sure. With the retelling came the emotions felt before, every so often speaking became difficult and my vision blurred. How could anyone speak of the betrayals of loved ones or the guilt of causing your family death and pain? How could the relief of this alternate future where everyone was alive and well not erase the hurt I felt? Why couldn't the sadness stop? Was it because the other future, my past, was still so close? Raph never said anything. His breathing would change, but that was it. When everything was silent again and my strange story was finished, I waited.

Somewhere in the lair a clock was ticking, the sound was making me nervous for some reason. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore and looked up to my brother's face.

What I saw there I would remember.

Raph's eyes were focused. So very focused. And dark. When they met my own I knew; he believed me. I swallowed and for once I was at a loss for what to do. Did he hate me for what I put our family through in that alternate future? Did he blame me as I blamed myself? Would he understand that at the time I had no other choice?

When he remained silent I found myself emploring him.

"Please..." I whispered. "Say something..."

His voice was quiet and slow when he answered me.

"You took me with you before when you faced the Shredder, but you didn't take me this time. Why?"

I blinked and leaned back in the bed, I had watched him die before, in my arms, while his blood spread out across my body and stained the creases in my shell. I had pressed my hands into his neck to stop the life from running out. I had stayed and died with him.

"I just couldn't go through it again. You were killed once Raph, I would face anything rather than have that happen again, it hurt me too much the first time it happened."

Raph's hand reached out and grabbed ahold of my arm, it hurt, but I didn't protest, I met his eyes and his anger silently. I deserved the pain and the rage. It just ached to know he felt that way. I was speaking before I even realized I wanted to, everything I had wanted to tell him before but couldn't, my words a jumbled heap.

"I am sorry I couldn't save you Raph, I am so, so sorry, I tried to protect all of you but I just made everything worse, if you want me to leave I will, as soon as I am able I will go, just understand that I did try to make everything right, I tried to keep you safe, I failed, but I did try and if you can't forgive me I understand, I wouldn't forgive me either, just know that I am sorry-"

The hand on my arm tightened and I couldn't help the hiss of pain that escaped me as he gave me a shake, his voice was a growl when he spoke through his gritted teeth.

"Damn you Leo, don't you dare say you are leaving! Don't you dare say my life is more important than yours, or Donny's or Mikey's. You are just as important to this family as the rest of us, and you need to get that through your thick skull! We love you damn it! I don't blame you for a thing you did before do you hear me? I don't give a shit that you are sorry because there is nothing for you to be sorry for! Don't you dare sneak off on a suicide mission without me again! How could you leave me here Leo? What were you thinking?"

Suddenly he was hugging me, his body shaking, and it was a shock when I felt moisture on my shoulder. Raph was crying.

"I love you you idiot, and I swear I am going to protect you and the rest of our family, just like you tried to protect us, don't you blame yourself bro, you did nothing wrong."

I couldn't answer, I raised my one good arm and returned the embrace, swallowing the lump in my throat, we sat there, holding each other, neither of us spoke because there was nothing left to say.


	98. Chapter 98

I slowly began to heal, it didn't take me very long for my vibrant youthful body to knit itself back together, but my mind was a whole other matter. In only a few weeks the only thing wrong with me physically was my arm, which I was beginning to suspect would never be the same again. It stayed frozen in this strange, curled angle and no matter what I did it wouldn't grasp my swords or even move. The others thought I would be devastated and angry because my arm was like this but I honestly couldn't care less, compared to what had happened before this was nothing. Raph stayed close to me the whole time I was recovering, he still hovers around, ready to help if I need it, but I don't mind that either, whereas the others are drifting farther and farther away from me, we are closer than ever. We don't even fight anymore, which is the last thing I expected to happen. I keep dreaming that I am back there, where everyone I love is either dead or hates me, and when this happens I can't go back to sleep without checking on everyone and making sure they are alright. Raph knows I do this, but he understands. He is the only one that does beside Vinny, but I hardly ever see him so I don't really know what he thinks of me now. I keep trying to force myself to go talk to him, but I am afraid to know.

Mikey doesn't know why I am so different, and he keeps trying to engage me in what is going on in the lair but I just can't get into any of it. I don't even care about watching Space Heroes anymore. Nothing holds my attention. The only thing I want to do is guard my family and spend time just watching them, enjoying their life, listening to them speak, Donny has tried so many times to talk to me, but I just can't be alone with him without doing something stupid, like flinching when he tries to pat me on the back, or losing track of what he is saying by getting lost in a memory. Splinter has tried to meditate with me, which only proved to be a mistake, now when I meditate I get lost in the void, going so deep within myself that I can't find my way out. The last time I tried it I was gone the moment I shut my eyes, and the others couldn't get me to wake up again. It took two weeks for me to come back, and for me it was only a moment before that I was sitting in the Dojo listening to Sensei breathe.

I have been practicing, trying to get back to the level of skill that I had before. It's turning out to be easier than I thought it would be, my body remembers what to do even if I haven't even thought of fighting in God knows how long. It's so confusing trying to figure out my thoughts and feelings. Everything gets jumbled together and it takes me forever to get things straight again.

We haven't gone out on patrol since I went to the surface and killed the Shredder. Splinter senses that I have changed, that I am not the same as I was, but so far he has said nothing about changing my status as Leader, I know the others will follow me, but I am not sure if I am capable of leading them, what if I get them killed again? What if I can't protect them? I feel like I am 12 again, going out in the sewer as leader for the first time, unsure of myself, unsure of my skills, unsure if I am cut out to do this. The gangs and clans aboveground have gone crazy trying to fight for territory and power now that the Foot clan has been dealt such a blow. In my own timeline, the attack from Karai is coming, I know what happened before, I am prepared for it now. Raph knows too, and when the time gets close for her to attack we will be ready. Time has changed but people have not, I know she will want revenge soon, and I am determined to rid our family of danger and strife for good. We are not going to wait around for tragedy to strike again. We are going on the offensive, and then we are leaving New York.


	99. Chapter 99

Leonardo called a family conference after breakfast, telling everyone to meet him in the dojo, that he had something important to tell them. Raph already knew what it was, and bypassed breakfast to go sit with his older brother. What they were about to tell the family was something that they hadn't shared since Leo had woken up. No one else knew about the alternate timeline, and how they were going to explain it to them was beyond comprehension. But they had to do it, the future of the clan depended on it. Raph didn't know how much Vinny understood about all this, but he must have known something because he had kept to his room and barely spoken to anyone in weeks.

One by one the others came into the room, kneeling in front of where Leo and Raph were seated facing them. Vinny came in last, and without hesitation came to sit beside his other two brothers facing the rest of the family. Leo knelt between his red and yellow banded brothers, drawing strength from them, seated in Splinter's customary place, at the head of the family, for that was what he was now, as of today, he was changing everything and taking over the leadership position of their small clan.

Splinter raised his eyebrow when he came into the dojo, his tail twitched in agitation, this symbol was not lost on him, and he didn't understand why his sons had suddenly decided to try to assume command of their family.

He met his eldest son's sad but unyielding expression firmly and with no small amount of anger.

"What is the meaning of this Leonardo?" HIs voice was quiet and deep, the tone he used when he was feeling very angry indeed.

Leo took a deep breath and released it slowly, his resolve was firm and he would not be moved.

"I am now the head of this family father, circumstances have forced my hand and I cannot sit by and allow this clan to be destroyed. I will explain everything, but you must understand father that I am doing this for the survival of us all, and not because I want to. I wish you could remain in charge but you cannot. When you made me leader you told me that one day leadership of this family would fall on my shoulders and mine alone, and today is that day."

Splinter's hair raised up around his neck and shoulders, but he made no movement, both he and his son remained looking into each other's eyes, a power struggle, the tension in the air was palpable and stifling, the other turtles watched this sudden and unexpected turn of events with shock and fear, unsure what was happening. Only Raph knew of this move of his elder brother, and after hearing his reasoning he had agreed that this was best for the clan. That still didn't mean that he wasn't fearful of what was going to happen after this. In fact, it terrified him, not that he would ever admit it. Neither of them broke eye contact, neither Splinter nore Leonardo blinked, slowly, their father took a seat beside his sons facing the trio in front of him, still not breaking eye contact.

"Very well Leonardo, I will listen to what you have to say, and what your explanation is for this... Decision."

Leo bowed his head and closed his eyes as he spoke.

"That is all I ask father, and no matter what happens after this day, know that I love, honor, and admire you above all others. I would never do this if it wasn't utterly necessary."

Mikey and Donny were stiff as a board, nothing like this had ever happened in the history of their lifetimes. Never had Leonardo gone against Splinter in such a way, this was borderline mutiny and they were unsure who to side with, their father who had lead them all their lives, or their brother, who did everything to look out for their safety and had lead them on so many missions. Everything about their future, was about to change...


	100. Chapter 100

Leo took a deep breath and let it out slowly, drawing on his inner strength, knowing that this coming struggle would be more difficult than anything he had ever faced before. He could still remember holding Splinter in his arms as he died, to now have him seated before him, watching him with such anger and disappointment and betrayal evident in his eyes, was almost more than he could bear. But he had to do this. For the good of the family, he had to do this.

He looked up again and cleared his throat, the hesitant gaze of Mikey and Donny met his own and he knew that this would be the ultimate test of their trust in him. When he spoke his voice was calm, steady, and sure.

"In three days time, Karai will attack the lair."

"What?! How did you know about this? None of my monitors or cameras or hacks have given any indication-"

Leo held up his hand to cut off Donny's babbling, it was by no fault of his brother that this attack was going to happen, after all, he hadn't caught it before and he hadn't caught it now, somehow or other Karai had kept this attack secret.

"I know of this because I have lived through it before."

Splinter stiffened and his other brother's watched him as though he had gone mad. Silently Raph reached out and gripped his leader's shoulder, and on his right, Vinny nodded his head as though confirming something to himself.

Splinter recovered first.

"What is this nonsense you are speaking Leonardo? What do you mean you have lived through this happening before?"

Leo met his eyes once more.

"I mean that I have lived through the past before, starting the night Mikey was sick, and continuing on into the future for nearly a year. During this time in this, I suppose you could say alternate dimension, I and Raph decided to go attack the Shredder, we succeeded, but at a great cost, my throat was slit and I was shot multiple times, while Raph was stabbed through the stomach, we both were nearly dead when you, and Donny, and Vinny came to find us, leaving April and Casey behind to care for Mikey. "

Splinter's eyes were wider than Leo had ever seen them before, and his tail was switching from side to side. Donny had his "I am trying to solve this equation" face on, and Mikey was staring at him with a bafflement that reminded him of the time before when he was lost to them. Leo turned to look at his youngest brother and couldn't help the fact that there was a lump in his throat and a slight waver in his voice when he spoke.

"You're fever rose too high while Don was tending to us, and when you woke up again, you weren't you anymore, you were lost to us, you couldn't speak or think, you were like a child. "

Mikey swallowed fearfully, eyes wide, and Splinter stood up once again, his staff slamming down onto the ground with a note of finality.

"That is enough Leonardo! You are scaring your brother's with this madness!"

"Its not madness"

All eyes turned to Vinny who was staring down at his hands, lost in thought.

Splinter cocked his head to the side and leaned forward.

"What do you mean my son?"

Vinny continued speaking then, and his voice was dead, quiet, and sure.

"What Leonardo says is true, I remember it as well."

Leo looked over at his yellow banded brother in surprise. He was about to speak when he was interrupted by Donny who threw his hands in the air with a frustrated growl and stood up, anger and betrayal was once again on his face as he glared at their leader, Leo felt a flicker of alarm in his chest and tried to suppress it, but still he couldn't help but remember the night Splinter died, the way Donny had struck him with the very staff that was strapped to his shell now.

"This can't be right! None of this makes sense, Leo I never thought you would go to such lengths to take over the clan, I expected something like this from Raph! Not from you! What are you thinking! You can't just do this! How could you try to do this to your own father? If you think we will follow you over Splinter you are crazy!"

Donny took a step towards Leonardo, his voice rising to a yell and his hand raised in emphasis, and Leo, lost in the past let out a violent flinch, his eyes squeezed shut and his arm lifted as if to ward off a blow. In a split second both Raph and Vinny were on their feet, weapons drawn, standing protectively in front of Leo and facing down Donny who had drawn his Bo staff in a reflexive response to his brother's sudden hostility. Splinter barked an order for them to stop but no one listened, on the floor, Mikey was staring at them horrified.

Splinter came to stand in between his sons, facing down Raph and Vinny with a cold fury, he had had enough of this.

"What is the meaning of you two drawing on your own brother? Stop this at once!"

Donny looked past them both at Leonardo who had his hand over his brow, breathing heavy and shivering. Worry crept into his voice when Don spoke, concern for his older brother overriding the fury of before. "Leo? Whats wrong? Why are you- afraid?" He tried to move closer but his path was blocked by the others.

Raph bared his teeth and Vinny's eyes promised a swift and harsh punishment if the purple banded turtle took another step towards their eldest brother.

"You want to know why Leo is afraid of you Don? You want to know why this is so hard for him? Its because you nearly killed him in that other timeline!"


	101. Chapter 101

Leonardo had been shaken, badly.

While his brothers fought over him and his father shouted out orders that were ignored, he knelt there, lost in his own silent hell, recalling the horrors he had witnessed and been subject to before. It was a shock when he realized that he was crying, that his strength that until now had been the only thing he could be sure of had shattered so easily. He was reduced to nothing more than a weak, pathetic creature, afraid of not being loved, of being hurt again, of not being able to save them all, or of them not letting him save them... Leo held his hand over his eyes, trying to give himself time to regain control, to be calm, but the voices of the others kept rising, the anger palpable in the air, it hurt him.

Memories of Donny, hurting him, memories of Raph and Mikey being gone, of Vinny's suspicion and blame, his father's dead body held in his arms, of the helplessness and guilt, it would all happen again, he would be powerless to stop their deaths, it would all be his fault again...

Suddenly, just before he fell off the edge, just before he lost all control, he felt someone touch him.

Startled Leo looked up, his hand falling away to reveal red watery eyes.

It was Mikey, behind him the others fought and argued, but his focus remained solely on his eldest brother.

"Its ok Leo, I'm here. Everything is going to be alright... I promise..."

Leo shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut against the scenes he could see playing out in front of him...

"No, nothing will be alright, its all going to happen again, no one believes me except Raph and Vinny, Splinter won't listen, he thinks I'm- I'm- That I'm crazy... I never question anything he says, but he won't trust me on this one thing... I-"

He looked up at his youngest brother.

"I'm scared Mike... I am terrified..."

The orange banded turtle smiled sadly and shook his head, his hand remaining strong as it gripped his shoulder.

"You're wrong big bro, I believe you. If you say we need to prepare for Karai's attack, then I say we go for it. You have never lied to us Leo, and I trust you."

Leo raised his good arm up to his brother's and nodded, hoping that his eyes could explain exactly how much those words meant to him. He didn't trust himself to speak clearly anymore.

The fight at hand made itself known when Donny cried out in pain from Raph's sai cutting him.

Leo leapt to his feet and was between the warring brothers in a second, facing Raph and Vinny, sword drawn.

The red and yellow banded turtles looked as though they had been punched in the face, anger flickered in Raphs eyes now directed at him.

"Enough of this! Leonardo! Raphael! Vincent! All of you lay down your weapons and stop this madness!"

Leo replaced his sword and turned to his father. His body still shook but his voice was steady, he was back in control for the most part. Behind him Mikey went to see about Donnatello.

Hurt, disapointment and betrayal. That was what Leo saw in his old master's eyes. It struck him deeply, dealt him yet another blow, made him want to stop all of this and kneel like he had so many times before and let the burden of responsibility be shared between them once more. But no longer could he blindly follow Splinter, the age the old rat had lived in was passed. He was blind to his sense of honor, this endless war needlessly fought between the humans, it was no longer their fight, Splinter needed to accept that they were not human anymore. This endless combat had stolen away their youth, their innocence, their childhood, and it threatened to end their lives before they even began. Once Karai was killed, once the foot clan was leaderless, then they would leave New York. They would never come back. His brother's lives were more important than Splinter's pride, and their happiness more important than anyone's honor. The humans had managed without them, once they cleaned away the evil Oroku Saki had brought from Japan, then they could fade away into the shadows and leave the humans in peace as they had found them.

If Splinter couldn't see this, then they would leave him behind. It would kill Leonardo inside, but it was the only thing he could do. Raph had agreed to his plan suprisingly. So had Vinny. Leo swallowed what remained of his fear, and the mask he wore in battle settled over his face. Splinter's eyes widened as he saw his child's spirit grow distant and cold, hidden away by the shield he had tought him to construct in the face of an enemy. It only served to anger and hurt the old rat more. His own mask fell into place and to the other turtle's it felt as though the room's temperature had dropped by several degrees.

"I have heard enough Leonardo. You will remember your place."

The blue banded turtle came to stand directly in front of Splinter, a challenge answered.

"I know my place father, it is the place you put me in when I was nine years old. I am the leader of my brothers, and the head of my clan."

"You forget that I am your master and father Leonardo, you forget that I can remove you from that place of leadership just as I elevated you to it."

"I decide what is best for our family, I am the leader, as much as I respect and honor you as both my mentor and as my parent, I cannot let your pride and sense of honor destroy what is left of our lives. I refuse to allow any more pain to come to my brothers."

Splinter's fur was standing on end in his fury, his eyes had narrowed to slits and his ears were laid flat against his head. Raph, Vinny, Mikey and Donny couldn't help but back away from the sight of their father's anger. Leo stood firm, all appearance of weakness was gone, here was the warrior they remembered. The Leo they knew.

Splinter snarled out his next words.

"Get out! I banish you from our home! How dare you show such disrespect? Have you no honor?"

"I no longer care about my honor! What good is it when all it brings is anguish and pain to my family? All my life I have done what you said, I have completed every task and every challenge, I have bled, fought, nearly died all for your sake! For once in your life trust my judgement! For once in your life let me decide!"

Splinter drew the sword he always carried and as he drew it he let the blade cut his eldest son across his plastron. Leo did not draw back as Splinter had expected, and the blade cut deeper than he had meant for it to, but still he held it in front of him, ready to fight.

Leo didn't even glance at his wound, the slice was deep, but not fatal. It was the emotional hurt that really pained him.

Slowly he drew his own sword, even with his crippled hand he still held it with confidence and strength. He would fight.


End file.
